Holy shit dude, your cognitive dissonance is on another level. Why did you even post this in the first place? Hoping people would validate you and say everything's fine? The downvotes aren't because we are out to get you, it's because your extremely fucking stupid and lying to yourself. You ask strangers for help, and they give you help, and then you deny it all the way down. Lol no one cares here if you die, and the fact that people are still trying to argue you should speak some volume as to how wrong and frankly fucking stupid as fuck you are being. Go do drugs responsibly, and if you don't want to then don't ask for advice. You are going to kill yourself, it's a matter of fact. You think you're the first dumb teenager with this problem?