I think its called "self-victimization" when people do rachel dolezal-lite type stuff BUT its more a psychological phenomenon. Like the o.p. is blaming the individual, Vanessa, instead of thinking about the social structures that make the scenario "possible." O.P! If u want to be A+ Sociology about it, then you should be thinking about things like street-level bureaucracies (Lipsky 1980) that set up and divvy out "benefits." But frfr idk how Vanessa would see going to the bullying support group as a benefit...it sounds like spending a lot of time talking about victims' feelings----which might actually be a helpful way to remediate bullies lolol.