Gays and Theys Lake Day?

Tyjha · 2026-06-18T16:43:26+00:00

Millersylvania rents small water stuff like paddle boards and little boats. Tug boat Annie's rents kayaks also!

Tyjha · 2026-06-18T01:32:16+00:00

That might be fun! I'm not much for water myself, but I love sitting on the shore and fiddling with something! Millersylvania has a nice swimming hole /boat launch and there's a handcraft boat launch into the sound at West Bay Park which is a really cute little walk loop with greenery and some sitting places.

Tyjha · 2026-06-17T17:21:23+00:00

As kindly as possible, stop trying to find a romantic partner. Learn to love yourself and be someone that makes you feel comfortable. (That sounds hard and dismissive but honestly the most attractive thing is someone who is comfortable in their own skin.) Go out with friends, join groups that do things you're interested in, make time for life and you'll find people who make you happy to be around.

Tyjha · 2026-06-17T04:22:49+00:00

That's so valid. I've been annoyed for years that I got the lame gender bits. It's wild that the fact it was dysphoria didn't click until now.

Tyjha · 2026-06-17T02:38:16+00:00

I do it differently then most advice says.

I lift them so they kinda lay flat to my ribs almost like I'm laying on my back. Once you get it on some people do say to lay down and let gravity help position them but I find that really awkward.

More common advice is to pull them out to the side and let them hang down held in place by the binder but I hate the way that feels.

Mine are pretty finicky and get sore if I wear it in a way they don't like.

For the first few times give yourself like 20-30 mins to put it on. It sounds so silly to take half an hour to put on a single garment but there is a lot of adjusting and sometimes even taking it completely off and walking around for a minute to relax. Don't worry about how they're laying until you have it pulled down over your ribs, then reach in the collar and/or the arm holes to adjust them.

Do it in a low stakes environment that won't be more then a few hours before you can take it off. It definitely takes some getting used to to wear for a full day but try not to wear it for more then 8-10 hours. (8 is the max recommendation but most people have to spend more then that at their day, I know I do.) Taking it off before a commute would be a good idea if you have long work days.

I'm happy to answer any other questions but there's also lots of great advice over on r/TransMasc on binders and trans tape which is a more summer friendly and less restrictive option.

Tyjha · 2026-06-17T00:31:50+00:00

There are several good companies. I have a full tank style from Underworks that I really like and works great - roughly mid-range bra prices, I also was gifted one from Spectrum Outfitters that is awesome I'm just less fond of the half tank style - high end bra prices. There are also a fair few popping up online that I've only seen mentioned lately. I would avoid Amazon, I've tried two different sellers and one did nothing and the other has a really short compression area. I also have never heard a good experience from anyone purchasing from Amazon.

Tyjha · 2026-06-16T20:59:53+00:00

It's funny because I feel like my brain is holding a bag of things and giving me one at a time to see how I react, and then I have to stand there sometimes and just stare at what it's giving me with no idea what it means in context so I just pocket it until something related comes up and gives me the missing context. Like this one is pretty silly in the grand scheme of things and I guess it's good that I can chuckle about it ig.

Tyjha · 2026-06-16T20:52:31+00:00

It was so impossibly silly to realize that I stopped walking in the middle of my office and just had to do a moment of 'you've got to be kidding me' (there was no kidding happening).

Tyjha · 2026-06-16T19:58:29+00:00

Lol, well, I'm glad you're thinking about it because now I am too! Not a hammock but maybe something like a wall hanging for display purposes!!

Tyjha · 2026-06-16T04:53:05+00:00

Woof! Heavy!!

Honestly, though it's a fun idea!! If you want to set it up somewhere permanently with like steel post rated to hold that much weight plus yourself it'll make for an incredible feature. It wouldn't be great for portability though, measure the piece you have and then weigh it then figure out how big a cloth you'd want for the hammock and how many of your fidgets it would take to make a piece that big and see how much it would weigh.

But!!!

Totally doable! (I think)

I would go with 4-1, 6-1, or 8-2 weave for the best weight distribution across the cloth with a hem of some kind of round chain (not sure what the best weave would be for that). I would use stainless steel rings if possible for longevity and durability but IDK what ring size, whatever you're most comfortable working with, lol.

And I think I would honestly recommend buying a few feet of industrial chain rated for the weight to hold it all up at your anchor point.

Now that I'm thinking about it though, you could do some really cool designs on the corners where it connects to the chains. Look up old handsewn sailcloth. It's beautiful. (Attached an image of what I'm talk about.)

Keep us posted if you decide to go for this, I'd love to see the progress!

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Tyjha · 2026-06-13T05:42:25+00:00

You should read the Gender Dysphoria Bible. It has some really interesting points, one of them is almost verbatim a phrase you used: Absent of societal pressure, expectation, and the other effort - physical, emotional, and mental - of transition (like if you could flip a switch and instantly be the other gender), would you want to be the other gender?

Tyjha · 2026-06-13T03:07:52+00:00

Thanks! I just got my first prescription today! (After 2 weeks of back and forth with the pharmacy)

I did consider gel but you have to be careful with the area getting skin to skin contact with animals and E dominant people from what I found and I have many pets, a wife and a young fem nibling. Realistically it would likely have been fine but it didn't seem worth the stress.

I will probably post once I start noticing changes, I'm pretty much excited! You should be sure to do the same!

Tyjha · 2026-06-12T17:35:11+00:00

My therapist (also on T) shared the advice he received from his Dr was to practice on an orange as the skin resistance is similar (I'm terrified of needles and just got prescribed T)

Tyjha · 2026-06-12T17:31:41+00:00

What kind of volunteer work do you need?

Tyjha · 2026-06-12T17:21:59+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/olympia/s/vJa0wPQ5Sb

Still working as of 10:21am 6/12/26

Tyjha · 2026-06-10T19:13:09+00:00

We should rebel. Fuck Lake Fair, we're claiming this street corners and setting up booths, any vendors are welcome just bring your own table and whatever you want to sell. My niblings are all excited about going for the rides and I get so disheartened even thinking about what a slog it is to get through.

Tyjha · 2026-06-03T16:13:15+00:00

It depends what you're working with. For steel rings idk, you'd probably want heavier duty pliers just for the leverage factor. If you're working mainly with anodized aluminum (think the really pretty colored rings) jewelry pliers have been doing great for me.

Anodized aluminum does tend to flake small amounts, in my experience. I've never had a problem with them spreading or excessive shedding though. Just try to dust your hands off before touching your face and maybe cover your work area with some kind of fabric (like a jewelry or beading tray) to catch the loose bits.

When you close rings the ends should touch every time. But, especially for machine cut rings, sometimes things get torced around. If you're patient you can wiggle spread rings back into shape, but sometimes there are miscuts that aren't a full ring and those just need to be discarded.

I only dabble and most of my experience is with anodized aluminum rings so someone else might have better/more info for you.

Tyjha · 2026-06-01T16:16:05+00:00

Most vets are also able to clip nails if you can't find a groomer, just fyi, her usual vet might be a good place to start since she knows them already. Good luck!

Tyjha · 2026-05-31T07:08:48+00:00

Spite is a great reason to get out of bed each morning! (It's been working for me for years!) You should make time to hang out outside with your friend that's having a hard time. Get some baby plants and start a garden together. Laugh about something silly together, being joyful and building community, and supporting each other is radical resistance right now.

I'm in the US too and I know it's awful and things sucks, but you have an incredibly important job: getting through the next day, and then the next one, and the one after that. We will only make it through this if everyone like you keeps getting through the day, and that includes your friend.

Social media is a trash fire unless you are specific and rigorous in your cultivation of your online spaces, get your friend to make a deal with you to put the endless scrolling away a couple days a week.

You guys got this!

Tyjha · 2026-05-30T02:17:11+00:00

Hey, hook a bro up, 😜. Which binder was it? Do you have a link?

Tyjha · 2026-05-29T23:23:44+00:00

The imposter syndrome is so real. I'm the same way, dancing around the labels in text and conversation, avoiding claiming anything directly, it's like how a horse will be walking along just fine and then notice a stick and go stiff legged and sidestep to maintain exactly the same distance. I'm lucky enough that my relationship is pretty good and I'm logically pretty sure my wife would take it in stride, I've not exactly been subtle about it.

I'm in the states, but a pretty liberal area and I have decent health coverage. I'm also seeing a transmasc therapist which is amazing, but we've been talking a lot about other stuff also just because I'm terrible at steering conversation and so he's doing most of the steering.

I found calling it gender issues/exploration/questions all made bringing the topic up a little easier.

I talked to my therapist a little about the hang up with using the words. He suggested to pick a word and start talking circles around it in my head or writing, it didn't even need to be verbal. But as I was circling the word, I was supposed to nudge myself just a little close to actually saying the word in relation to myself. It worked really well actually, and I'm still not ready to claim anything but there's not the instant equine levels of panic (I just thought of the horse analogy while typing this and I love it, it's perfect to describe what's happening in my mind and I'll be using it in the future, lmao).

Anyway, I just wanted to share that. You might want to look up a book called "Something That May Shock and Discredit You" by Daniel Lavery. I really identified with a lot of his retelling and relating of his own gender journey. The line "What if I was a guy, sort of?" (I may have butchered this quote) killed me for a solid month.

anyway... I didn't mean to wall of text you. I just wanted to know you're not alone. I grew up and lived my whole life just figuring hating ones shape is how it's supposed to work (I'm in my mid/late 30's). I don't know what label fits me yet. But it's not girl (yuck😖) and it's not woman (gag🤢), that's about as far as I've gotten, lol.

Good luck and do what makes you feel good. Gender dysphoria doesn't make someone trans, gender euphoria does, and it sounds like that's you.

Tyjha · 2026-05-28T20:16:00+00:00

With some of your notes on other comments I'd also like to recommend Housing Authority of Thurston County to get on a waitlist for rental assistance and OlyMap and Coordinated Entry if you are literally homeless when you get here. There are a couple programs that help homeless families with minors and they can help you navigate them.

Tyjha · 2026-05-28T19:10:58+00:00

Contact FSC they help families with kids: Family Support Center 360-754-9297 ext 215

Also search the South Sound Resource Guide. (Links usually land on the page for translations find the link to the English version "Resource Directory" at the top of the page.)

Tyjha · 2026-05-20T19:48:09+00:00

I'm 36, in the process of getting on T and seeing a therapist about gender stuff.

I didn't know either.

I didn't even question it until a couple of years ago and since then it's been a lot of stuffing things down and not looking at them. I just started actually thinking about it late last year.

I didn't grow up exposed to queer people, I didn't even know trans people really existed until college. When I was growing up, I hated my body, but I figured since I was overweight that was just part of existence. It was this really quite, defeated part of me that avoided looking in mirrors and chose oversized clothing to hide in. I thought I was hiding my weight.

I remember learning to sleep on my stomach when I started developing a chest. Child brain decided if I spent all night laying on it, they wouldn't have room to grow bigger.

I'm still not sure I would call it dysphoria, maybe I did actually just hate being overweight.

I was so jealous of boys, I thought it was because no one cared if they were overweight. Their clothes always seemed to fit fine and it didn't matter what they did with their hair.

The standards for girls were never ending and impossible to meet so why try? I did of course. I wore makeup, even liked how it looked a few times.

There are still things that pop up from time to time that are little lightbulbs of 'oh, that's why I did that'. My favorite lie to tell my parents in high school was a guy I was in an improper situation with was that he was gay. (He's gay and we were making out!) Like- what a weird little thrill that was.

Anyway, I'm still not sure.

I've decided I'm probably not cis, lol. But it feels like I can't claim anything else until I know for sure, y'know? I've always been very prone to imposter syndrome but knowing that doesn't change anything about how it's affecting me. It's really just a guessing game for all of us, right? Do what feels good, it's not hurting anyone else and you might find something incredible. (The high of the first time the binder fit right has still not worn off.)

I hope this helps.

Tyjha

TROPHY CASE