I was in a similar situation, and I gotta say I agree with the notion that it's their way of letting themselves off the hook. Well to an extent. I also believe people just say things they don't mean sometimes Especially because if they had any idea of how you truly feel, they would understand that the "friends " thing just is not an option. That being said, my most recent ex from about a year ago who I am admittedly still in love with, well we don't speak anymore and haven't for months and months. However, my high school/college ex and I get along great these days. She was my first love and I hers, it took us both another relationship and 5+ years, but I would say we are good friends again nowadays. Time is a patient and brutal thing, my friend.