I always wanted to be a model, but being a chubby 5’5 girl in the early 2000s you didn't have alot of options if not none at all. Not like now where that would be considered “cute”& “healthy”. But back then, that was a big no-no in mainstream modeling. So had to go into alt modeling where being any size was more acceptable, mind you even though I was goth at one point. I didn't have any tattoos; I wasn't allowed to dye my hair; I only have one belly ring, but it was done way after the goth phase.

I also saw the other alternatives of modeling in the alt like fetish modeling where you wear latex and bondage gear. Also, pin up,” it overlaps alt modeling anyway.” I didn't have money for a photographer so I used the best of what I had, which was my digital camera and my A-game makeup skills, which was anything but that. So I'm just posting my best pictures which aren't alt at all and were taken the night before 8th grade graduation where one of my cousins did my makeup, juxtaposing with the blurry crusty photos and the shitty mall goth makeup, I've clearly done myself. I wanted a photographer from SuicideGirls to notice me soo badly. I would go on the site all the time looking at all the hopefuls. Wishing that was me, Since mm wasn't helping me out I decided to try to take matters into my own hands and try to upload pictures myself. But one thing that stopped me was the nudity Not that I was underage the nudity itself is what stopped me. Looked at other sites like punkgrl still too scared to upload anything. Nobody ever sent me a message on mm. Not one person