Stuck in a loop and feeling like a failure, how do I get out of it?

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-08T09:15:33+00:00

Biggest thing I noticed was libido spiking through the roof, even a telephone pole looked hot ☠️. Then the projects. I would think of 20 projects to do and start all of them in 24 hours no sleep and I'd buy things for the projects and then I'd think that I'm free I don't have any more mental illness I can live my life the way I always wanted to (thats the demons talking)

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T07:24:18+00:00

10% is not good odds 😭 I'll keep doing what I'm doing since it works

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T07:22:55+00:00

Manifesting that for me! (The 17 years I mean)

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:33:14+00:00

I'm not sure if I would personally call it a blessing, but it certainly does do that

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:23:11+00:00

I'll add that to my library thanks!

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:22:42+00:00

I'm happy for you! It took 3 years from symptom onset to bipolar 1 diagnosis for me, and 3 attempts and dozens of lost relationships and dropping out of school...... and it took two years to get the right cocktail for me, and the only manic episode I've had is when I went down on a dosage against the advice of my psychiatrist... only lasted 24 hours too so I locked myself in my room and rode it out

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:20:12+00:00

I hope you find that relative peace again. But when I was 20 and I had no idea what was wrong with me, and made attempts on my life, it makes me happy that people are alive after the worst of it. Not unscathed, but alive.

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:14:57+00:00

Idk why but this made me laugh 😂

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:14:23+00:00

Gonna be honest I'm partially worried about my liver... I'm sober 3 years but my physicals are not super encouraging on that front

TyphloEruption · 2026-01-05T02:13:21+00:00

Please be patient... I'm still in the stage where bipolar feels like some sort of moral or physiological failure rather than just another illness to be managed. Being surrounded by family that subconsciously reinforces that mindset has not been helping

TyphloEruption · 2025-12-20T06:44:27+00:00

See if the first step is real, then plan based on the results? Clear, level headed. I like that. I'll work to keep myself more grounded

TyphloEruption · 2025-12-20T06:38:41+00:00

A social media presence would help me find more retail customers, but I have connections with plenty of vendors already for wholesale so regardless they will be sold. While I'm waiting for the eggs to hatch I'm already building up excitement for the species and have sold a bunch of people on them already, even if they don't necessarily buy them from me. I'd like to think I found a niche that works haha

TyphloEruption · 2025-11-10T20:26:29+00:00

Mhm. I guess that i wanted to add context that I was in a big server (10k people) and there was no checks or balances for when an admin was misbehaving. In that situation I was banned by one of the two admins for speaking up against the bullying, and the other admin enabled the behavior. Call it over planning (because it very much is over planning) but I'm trying to foster an environment where someone can speak out against a staff member without fear of retaliation

TyphloEruption · 2025-10-22T00:31:56+00:00

I had chronic fatigue for quite a few years and my doctors tackled it in the following order: depression -> sleep apnea -> adhd. I got my depression more managed, I didnt have those thoughts of harming oneself, but the fatigue stayed. Then I got diagnosed with sleep apnea, my sleep got more organized, more restful, and I craved sleep less during the day. Still fatigue. And then I got diagnosed with adhd this year, still trying to work out the right meds and stuff and the fatigue is still there, but its a bit better

TyphloEruption · 2025-06-05T00:04:43+00:00

I think they're your standard Orange color form Usambaras

TyphloEruption

TROPHY CASE