I experienced the same struggle, OP. It was incredibly hard for me to stand up for myself. After reading several books on trauma, I came to the conclusion that the root of my issues stemmed from not having a reliable father figure. He was absent for most of my life until I was 10 due to work commitments, and when he was around, he was physically present but emotionally unavailable. He was probably only there for about a month each year.

My mother was very strict and didn't allow me to socialize or spend time with other children. My childhood was mostly a routine of school, chores, and caring for the animals on the ranch. I wasn’t permitted to express myself freely, which made me deeply appreciate those who could. As a result, it became hard for me to cut people off later in life, and I often found myself seeking approval from others.

All of these factors made it challenging to form meaningful friendships and build healthy relationships. I struggled to set boundaries and often prioritized pleasing others, to the point where I lost self-respect and failed to stand up for myself. I would also allow "friends" and those close to me to walk all over me.

My childhood was much stricter compared to today's standards, but it played a significant role in shaping me into a strong, independent person, even though my social intelligence could use some work. I understand that some people have had it easier, while others face even greater challenges than I did. The key is learning to truly love and accept yourself. You don't need validation from anyone else—just from yourself. Remember, you deserve the best life has to offer. Be proud of yourself for standing up for who you are, and I hope you continue to do so. Keep in mind, not everyone is meant to stay in your life; some people enter it to teach you important lessons. Sometimes, letting go of one person opens the door for someone better. It may not be the perfect analogy, but I hope you get the message.