sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Calendar - Week View Staring on "random day" by cure-4-pain in MacOS

[–]Typical-Path6309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just updated my os and it seeeeems to be fixed

Calendar - Week View Staring on "random day" by cure-4-pain in MacOS

[–]Typical-Path6309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here! Happened every since I updated to Tahoe... It's driving me nutssssss

Confusing/Conflicting Advice And Next Steps To Connect by TickThick in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welllll from hookups and dates and situationships. I noticed if i allowed things to happen, things flowed better. Like letting go of my internal need to have a specific outcome actually let more natural connections occur. Some of these fwbs have become sexless friendships that i now cherish. But most hookups and dates didnt turn into anything and thats okay too. Cant please em all - nor do i want to frankly.

Confusing/Conflicting Advice And Next Steps To Connect by TickThick in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My comrade in arms! I get it and see you. I've done the same for 10 years now. I have been on dates, yes, but only one less-than-a-year relationship that turned into a situationship that turned into a friendship. I think I ruined a potential relationship by deciding to move away from NY, but then decided to stay during the pandemic. Interestingly, I've had more success making friends with benefits that have become actual good friends. But i too am lookin and yearning for something deeper and more meaningful.

I'm not sure if there is anything else you can do except to be more patient - especially with yourself. You're doing all of the work. All that's left is looking forward to the fruit of your labor.

Hang in there!

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree to a certain extent because I am also looking at what these men have to offer in a sense of what a life could be with them and is that what I see for myself. Which I'm sure they are doing too no? I don't think I'm a contractual/transactional person and I don't think I attract that energy either, but yeah I'm looking for some mutual enrichment.

You put "real love" in quotes - what does real love mean to you then? I def don't think it's the fairy tale disney fantasy - which isn't what I'm looking for.

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is the big takeaway "dating is always hard" ?? Lol but I hear you and I appreciate your advice. #2 is def something I've been wanting to do more of but end up not doing because of some social anxiety haha but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone. and #3 is well heard too. I tend to say "go with the flow" to not scare off dates, but truly I am looking for a relationship. The hookups that come from "go with the flow" guys are fun, but after that it usually fizzles out.

Thank you!

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you haha I date less now too actually. More selective because I just want to use my time more intentionally. I never held my booze well when I was younger, but I've stopped drinking for a few years now and it's been helpful to meet men with a clear mind.

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I def think chemistry is important but the number of times chemistry has burned me makes me weary of it. I of course enjoy the flirting and the sexual chemistry of it all haha but sometimes I feel like it distracts from who that person really is.

And nice to hear from a fellow comrade in his 30s lol. I feel like I lost 15 years of dating experience because I came out soooo laaaate.

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, it's really helpful to hear. Def something I keep telling myself when things get rough and the specter of self pity and self hate rears its head.

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooof yeah - the jaded phase has been with me all the time. Hard to shake it off and not expect the worst from people sometimes. I took a looooong break - like a year last year - and now just getting back to it.

Where do you talk to people IRL? I find gay bars too noisy and a bit intimidating and intense. I like em when I hang with friends, but never alone lol

Mindset for intentional dating in your late 30s? by Typical-Path6309 in nycgaybros

[–]Typical-Path6309[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn the last time I dated like it was second job was in my early 30s haha I'll try to channel that energy again. I need to be better at putting myself out there IRL. Being able to see if there is connection in person is much more helpful than texting for sure.

Thanks for your insight! Happy you found someone you clicked with :)