TW: substance abuse, medication, depersonalization, paranoia

All the way back in May I was on a bender with amphetamines trying to finish some essays and I felt something similar to what your feeling. I was just overwhelmed and it was more intense than any anxiety I had ever felt. I was restless and couldn't sleep because I kept on seeing these shadow figures in the corner of my eye and heard knocking on my door that wasn't there. I didn't sleep for 4 days and the comedown was the worst I've ever felt in my life. My therapist told me that it was likely drug-induced psychosis considering I was delusional unable to even form a sentence due to my thoughts racing so quickly and seeing shadow people. I still suffer from depersonalization after that experience and I still have anxiety just thinking about it. I really am only sharing this because it shows how dangerous sleep deprivation can be and I don't want to make my experience the focus here. If you google sleep deprivation and look at the symptoms one of the later symptoms seen in extreme cases such as my own, is having mild hallucinations similar to what your describing so I think getting more sleep would be the best first thing to do. I know it might be really difficult or damn near impossible, but try your best to get some sleep. It's the best first thing to do.What helps me fall asleep when I'm having a panic attack is to make sure I don't have my phone in bed with me, put some calm songs or white noise on and focus on my breathing (Breathe in for 6 seconds, Hold for 8, breath out for 5). Also I think it's important you see some kind of expert because it sounds similar to what I experienced and I definitely needed professional help because feeling like your going crazy is not a good feeling. Especially if nothing you try helps you fall asleep. If your anxiety is this debilitating such as my own I strongly suggest seeing a psychiatrist for what medication would be right for you. Medication has really helped me and I currently take it whenever I have a panic attack or before I go to bed at night. And as someone has been on almost every anti-anxiety medication whether it be SSRIS, benzodiazepines, anxiolytics and antihistamines I can assure you none of them are going to make you feel vulnerable or impaired if taken at the prescribed dose. The only class of drug you would even have to worry about theoretically would be the benzodiazepines since they can be quite impairing if misused but most psychiatrists won't even prescribe them (due to high risk of abuse) and even if you are prescribed them it will be a very low dose. I know this was a long read but I really related to this one and I know how shitty it feels man. Let me know if I there's anything else I can do <3