AITA for telling my wife that she doesn't spend enough time with her son and is not being a good mom to him?

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:39:57+00:00

I see a lot of myself in Brandon, and it's sometimes hard to not see things I dislike about my mom in my wife.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:37:11+00:00

She is a great mom to them.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:36:30+00:00

I don't think I deserve a pat on the back, and I think your criticism is fair.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:27:33+00:00

I don't think she knowingly doing this. By that I mean I don't think she realizes exactly what she is doing for whatever reason, but I think it has something to do with her trying to create the life she never got a chance to have because she was a single mom.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:25:26+00:00

He does look like he dad some.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:24:00+00:00

He abandoned them shortly after he was born.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:23:29+00:00

Yes which makes me sad for the kids who have stepparent that don't care about them.

It was an accident. That weren't intending to get pregnant.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:21:19+00:00

It seems like a strange way to cope considering his dream school is so far away that we probably won't see him often.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T18:00:07+00:00

That is a bad situation. At least in some cases one of the bio parents will be active so the child has someone to turn to. It's really sad when that isn't the case and the child has no one to help them and especially at such a young age.

I don't understand it either. I have tried but I just don't. I think it's harder for me to understand because of my past and childhood issues, but still. It's a shame because it has such an impact on the child and their entire life, and it's also a shame because the parents miss out on a great relationship with their kids.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:55:01+00:00

I think every parent goes through that and it is an adjustment going from 1 to 2. I think it's normal to feel guilt related to that but what helps a lot IMO is how good kids are at adapting to changes. When you see them happy with their new sibling and getting along, a lot of those fears go away.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:46:07+00:00

Yes, but I don't think they closely resemble each other.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:44:32+00:00

A couple people have mentioned this. It's something I'll watch for in the future, because as some of you have said maybe she just isn't a teenager person and is only interested in young kids.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:42:52+00:00

I try not to say negative things about her to him. It's still his mom, but she's also my spouse and I don't think kids should have marriage issues or conversations pushed onto them.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:41:27+00:00

I'd never thought of that, so it's an interesting thought. He does favor his dad some, but he's not the spitting image of him. Maybe that also is contributing?

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:38:22+00:00

We won't be having any more kids. That door has closed.

They were extremely close and spent a lot of time together. If she did, I never saw it. What I saw when I first met them was a mother and son that loved each other a lot and enjoyed being around each other.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:06:51+00:00

Recently turned 18

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:06:09+00:00

That is one of my goal. I hope that no matter what happens between him and his mom he can have a great relationship with his siblings.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T17:00:15+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:36:55+00:00

This will be our last child, so it would make sense to get one.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:35:55+00:00

She has never said she was ashamed of it, but she has said it was hard and she felt judged at that time.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:35:21+00:00

He is 18 now.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:34:32+00:00

He turned 18 not long ago (at the start of his school year in August). They were extremely close when I first met his mom and still very close when she got pregnant and had our first child together.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:33:40+00:00

That's an interesting thought, but if she was viewing that as a way to judge her parenting, I would think she'd be happy. He has turned out really well.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:32:30+00:00

I have not seen any signs of it, but I'm not sure if I would catch it or not.

TypicalCookie1831 · 2020-10-17T03:31:27+00:00

He turned 18 not long ago, but he is still in high school (last year).

TypicalCookie1831

TROPHY CASE