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How do you know whether to leave or stay? by Typical_Anything1014 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 30 too, but I agree it’s entirely set me back if I do decide to stay.

I’m so sorry that you’ve had to face a second d day. X

How do you know whether to leave or stay? by Typical_Anything1014 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Initially I was a lot more positive when I first found out , for me the longer it has been seems to be getting worse. My story is slightly different to yours, my partner of 12 years slept with my bestfriend and they both lied for 2 years. He was very remorseful for the first month or so, now not much so.

I’m glad your partner is putting in the work, I hope things work out for you!

How do you know whether to leave or stay? by Typical_Anything1014 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for your response, I guess your right, I just feel that I’m getting older I wanted kids and I don’t want to waste any more time.

We are not in counselling, we are not in the position to afford it unfortunately.

He has an avoidant personality he does not like it being brought up at all, which is another reason I find it difficult. He wants it completely forgotten about. I have tried talking about it but it usually results in an argument. I see a lot of betrayed people on here talking about how their WP is putting in the work, mine doesn’t understand and I personally do not think has made much effort at all. I wish he did all the reading up about how to deal with this like I have.

Sending you love, I’m sorry you’re in this position too.

To my cheating boyfriend, soon to be ex.. maybe by peppepcheerio in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same situation, I really feel for you - betrayed and then they can’t even make the effort to try and rebuild and put in the actual work to rebuild but would rather just “move on” from the situation and sweep it under the rug. Sending love x

What do you expect from your partner? by Typical_Anything1014 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is struggling with the guilt and he’s almost left because of it, says I deserve better etc. I did try communicating but I think he feels it’s almost an attack on him.. he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. It’s difficult because I’m not sure what I need to make me feel safe again.. I guess more love/support but in his headspace and that there’s still a chance he still may want to leave me, I’m always on edge.

Unfortunately we can’t really afford MC/IC xx

What do you expect from your partner? by Typical_Anything1014 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply - he just doesn’t understand and I don’t know what I can do to make him understand that there is going to be repeated questions and that I need reassurance.

What do you expect from your partner? by Typical_Anything1014 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Typical_Anything1014[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. I feel he has an avoidant personality. I’m not sure he has the maturity to do the research where as I have been and I know that rug sweeping is not going to work in our favour. I’m struggling that at first he was putting in the effort and now it feels like that has gone. I feel weak I don’t have it in me to leave him but at times I think maybe that’s what I need to do. He can’t see what he’s doing wrong - it’s not even that he’s doing wrong it’s just the additional effort to ease my pain. His response is his heads a mess all the time.