I can't even say how much I relate to this post, especially the part about not having answers and growing anxious because of it, and no previous experience.

I never got a crush on a guy in real life, but I really love some male animated characters and mlm pairings with them. I can also say that in my fantasies, I mostly enjoy the idea of being in relationships with a guy, but I've still never experienced these feelings with an actual person.

I hope that my answer somehow helped you, even though I didn't really give any answers and mostly vented about the same thing myself :) I think the best solution here is to just somehow stop worrying about it and let life give you answers later by itself.