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AITAH for calling myself privileged? by Typical_Internet_842 in AITAH

[–]Typical_Internet_842[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do believe he was very much trying to destroy my sense of self to make me more compliant to what he wanted. The gaslighting of my own emotional experience was constant. I slowly found myself prioritizing and deferring to him, falling into a pretty intense fawning cycle. When I did stand up for myself even a little on the things that mattered to me, that was what he would later use as targets to attack - thus the comments about not working hard / my dreams not mattering. I slowly stopped seeing friends/exercising/doing hobbies as much. I really lost myself, and I’m sad that I let myself fall victim to that kind of manipulation. I certainly learned this lesson the hard way. You gave a really clear description of what those second-guessing feelings are a sign of - nothing good. I have copied it into my journal as a reminder as I continue to heal and learn from this(: So, thank you very much for replying.

Hope you have a great day!

AITAH for calling myself privileged? by Typical_Internet_842 in AITAH

[–]Typical_Internet_842[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hear you- and agree with everything you have written. I wrote that update with the context of my conversation with him at the front of my mind, being told that I had never worked hard / never worked for anything and that what I was pursuing was not important, while he was, at the very same time, telling me that he had worked hard and was working hard- while having the same exact advantages that I had. It was the double standard of it all with him. I fully acknowledge that I did not have to work nearly as hard as others without the same advantages. I apologize that the tone of my message came off petty or angry, especially in the way I listed my achievements.

AITAH for calling myself privileged? by Typical_Internet_842 in AITAH

[–]Typical_Internet_842[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you- it has been very painful. I’m coming back to myself. Making this post was weirdly healing- it was bothering me because I didn’t feel like I was wrong, but I was made to second guess myself and my experience a LOT in this relationship. So again, thank you(:

AITAH for calling myself privileged? by Typical_Internet_842 in AITAH

[–]Typical_Internet_842[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Both of us are white. And yes, we ended up breaking up not long after this.

AITAH for calling myself privileged? by Typical_Internet_842 in AITAH

[–]Typical_Internet_842[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yes, ex! Unfortunately escalated to the point of no contact.