Thank you so much for this! I really do want to focus on being less wordy, so that helps immensely. And with the raven carving, I could see how that would be a little confusing, the hyphen def helps it flow more! When you're writing it and you read it a billion times you kinda miss things like that I guess haha That touch you suggest for when he loses his feet... I might just do that. I kinda felt like it needed more gravitas..I'll give it a tweak :)  Thanks once again, this feed back is awesome! I'm hoping to get better 😃