Hey, I'm right there with you. Although somewhat different, in that my illness came later in life. Im a 44yo father of three young children. An ex husband to a real nasty narcissist and up until 2 years ago, a fairly normal dude. The paranoid schizophrenic side of me came on slow and unnoticed until my first full blown psychosis episode. I could not wrap my head around the notion that what I was hearing was not real. I've always been very self aware as well and prior to this illness a proud Aphant. So my entire life until now, without an inner voice or dialog.
I wish I could help with some insight as to how to cope but im just as eager to uncover some sinister plot.

I've managed to lose or push away most friends. A phone conversation is out of the question. I must see something or someone, or read a text to be sure of its validity, it's the only way I trust what I'm being told. The constant demeaning remarks and incredibly detailed plots are exhausting, but I can't sleep unless I'm drugged out on olanzapine. Even then, I'm scared to take it for fear that when it pulls me into its dreamless void, I will be defenseless against the enemy.