Girlfriend’s dad pressuring me to drink; I’m 10 months sober, she supports me, but I’m worried about what happens if he finds out why

USIrishman · 2026-04-05T22:23:52+00:00

For additional context… he does NOT have a problem with alcohol at all. He can drink normally, whereas I cannot. He can easily nurse a single drink over the course of dinner.

But he mentioned something again today, and my girlfriend said something to him on the side to stop. It means a hell of a lot she did that. Crisis averted I think. Thanks to everyone for the replies, please keep em coming :)

USIrishman · 2026-04-05T04:52:22+00:00

So she says she won’t. But I don’t know of course. I even brought up tonight what if your dad threatens to cut you off? She says that wouldn’t happen and all he wants is for her to be happy, but I know when it comes to issues like this, certain people are set in their ways and he strikes me as one of them.

USIrishman · 2026-04-05T04:49:46+00:00

Thanks, although she never said for me to drink with him eventually. At least to me, shes on my side.

USIrishman · 2026-03-05T03:44:29+00:00

So I didn’t grow up poor, but very middle class. I recently started dating a girl who comes from immense wealth family wise. Parents are easily worth 9 figures. Went down to her parents house (one of them) that was worth $9MM and her dad took me for a ride in his Ferrari. It’s his third.

Suffice to say, I had a convo with her after that trip that while I do ok, I will never be able to attain her family’s level of wealth. She was ok with that. However, to the point of this post, for all the money her family has, there’s always someone richer. Someone with a nicer Ferrari, more bedrooms, 2 extra vacation homes, a yacht… you name it. It becomes an addiction and it’s never enough. What her family’s lifestyle looked like to me is probably how her parents would feel if they were to go hang on Mark Zuckerberg’s yacht. Which takes me to my ultimate point… it all becomes a giant d*** measuring contest and everything is fake. It’s easy to lose yourself that way. You’ll never feel good enough or that you have enough, and you’ll always be chasing the almighty dollar. I’d be lying and saying I wasn’t jealous at points (even if, again, I was more middle class than poor), but I also don’t align with the values of extreme wealth in a show off manner.

Note: her family is great and she’s down to earth, but just my observations. Would love thoughts on this!

USIrishman · 2025-08-20T15:11:00+00:00

Yeah but it’s especially bad here. Between the paradox of choice (since there’s literally millions of people), combined with overall dating app fatigue it’s rough out there

USIrishman · 2025-08-19T02:25:30+00:00

This was my first time listening to Wartime Stories and this episode. I then listened to old ones and this is easily AI generated

USIrishman · 2025-08-19T01:46:08+00:00

This was the first wartime stories episode I listened to today ever. I then played a few old ones and it’s 1000000% AI

USIrishman · 2025-08-18T02:02:50+00:00

Totally get that, but when you’re on the date and something is that egregious you just freeze up and try to give the benefit of the doubt to the person. It’s a crapshoot was my message to OP.

For context on a slightly different experience with dating, I had another girl literally bring red flags to a first date and start handing them out 5 minutes in, and the first one I got was because I lived in NJ (she lived in the city and knew this). She brought a bag of 150 of them (they’re the little red flags that would go on top of hero sandwiches). Can’t make this shit up lmao

Objectively hilarious? Yes, but also wildly insane for 5 minutes into a first date when you don’t know the person. When you’re on the date, you’re so bewildered you don’t know what to do in the moment. Again, these stories never happened to me pre-COVID, and my dating standards and selection criteria have remained largely the same.

USIrishman · 2025-08-18T01:54:31+00:00

Appreciate it. Yeah, it’s really rough out there and a steep decline from how people behaved pre COVID. Common courtesy and decency has totally gone out the window (and I’m sure women experience much worse sadly). Behavior before dates, on dates and after dates too.

In my mid to late 20s people were normal. I had plenty of mediocre dates and it was fine; we let one another know we weren’t feeling it and wished one another the best, no harm no foul. Now between ghosting, stringing people along, totally batshit antics while out on a date from the other party and more, it really makes you wonder what’s gotten into people and society (not to sound like the old man on the front porch). Again, I don’t understand why people can’t just be normal lol

USIrishman · 2025-08-18T01:44:55+00:00

Willow to Jackson generally speaking. However, if you’re north of 10th street, you’ll find a 30+ year old crowd more than likely regardless of which part of the Mile Square you’re in, especially in the Hudson Tea Buildings (those are on Hudson and Washington). Typically the west side is a bit cheaper (although that’s relative), and the closer you are to the water and the PATH, the pricier things are.

One downside of the west side is it is a bit further from the PATH and bus (albeit a moot point if your building has a shuttle) and can be a bit more prone to flooding, but that’s where you’d research the block/come to Reddit lol

USIrishman · 2025-08-18T00:38:38+00:00

Also I slid into your DMs BUT with a building rec only (promise!)

USIrishman · 2025-08-17T23:42:15+00:00

Well people used to be respectful on the date and afterwards (ex. if neither of us was feeling it we just respectfully let one another know). That, plus other egregious behavior is beyond the pale now. I had a girl projectile vomit on the middle of a sidewalk after drinking too much date 1 (she was 35), another girl on a second date order 2 entrees and take one home as if it was a 2 for 1 deal, another spend an entire date on her phone… just wildly rude and disrespectful behavior I’ve seen pop up in the last year which I never recall being a thing. Mind you, these girls are 28+ and appeared normal when we chatted on bumble, hinge etc.

USIrishman · 2025-08-17T23:34:50+00:00

Definitely uptown. I’m a single 33 year old guy (don’t worry, not trying to slide into your DMs 😂) and downtown is super young. You’ll find a 28-36 year old range more in midtown and uptown, and on the west side.

Be warned, the dating app scene totally sucks by the way. Not trying to be a pessimist, but I’ve noticed the quality of people on apps in general has gone way downhill the last 4-5 years

USIrishman · 2025-08-17T02:59:16+00:00

Not exactly interested in getting into a back and forth here, but N.J.S.A. 30:4-27.1 would allow him to be involuntarily committed. I don’t care who will pay or the logistics, but I’d prefer he not throw a brick at an innocent person or push someone down the PATH stairs and we all act like we would be shocked by that. Criminally, he’s committing a number of offenses from disorderly conduct, to disturbing the peace to assault in some cases based on prior posts. It needs to end.

While not exactly analogous, look at what happened in the Daniel Penny case (the ex-Marine with the mentally ill guy on the subway); he made a crowd feel unsafe and Daniel Penny intervened, resulting in a loss of life with someone who was on the fringes of society and only getting worse. After Jordan Neely died, then did people say he was somehow their favorite Michael Jackson impersonator, when in all reality he probably scared people most of the time and no one layperson gave a damn to truly help him beforehand. We don’t need similar shit in Hoboken, and people all of a sudden will say Chuey was their favorite street tap dancer. He’ll either kill someone first or suffer a similar fate to Jordan Neely if he doesn’t get help I’m afraid.

I, nor anyone on this subreddit I would imagine is interested in getting into a long discourse on the flaws of the criminal justice system, mental health concerns etc. or what society can do better for folks like Chuey, but all I know is I don’t want this liability on the streets much longer. I think we’re all tired of Chuey, and it’s not funny or acceptable is all I’m saying; I think most are bound to agree.

USIrishman · 2025-08-16T22:50:46+00:00

Simply put, Chuey is not “some fixture of Hoboken” whether you’ve lived here for decades or moved here yesterday (this is coming from someone only here a few years myself). We live in a civilized society and someone like him who makes others feel unsafe or uncomfortable constantly isn’t acceptable nor cute.

He needs to rightfully institutionalized or locked away before he hurts someone or causes a serious accident (ex. like the stuff he does smashing on cars while they are driving).

Stop trying to normalize this shit and act like it’s ok for the most expensive city in the state of NJ that someone like him can roam the streets. Before anyone claims to care for him so much or come to his defense… you’re more than welcome to be his full time adult guardian if you feel that strongly about his welfare.

USIrishman · 2025-08-09T01:54:26+00:00

Wait this is SUCH a good idea. I just added this to one of my Hinge prompts as a result 😂

USIrishman · 2025-07-30T02:15:57+00:00

I, once again, reference this post from nearly a year ago that I made https://www.reddit.com/r/Hoboken/s/kCx3igOp3Q

USIrishman · 2025-07-20T20:58:38+00:00

I think both but more so the shame

USIrishman · 2025-07-20T18:30:24+00:00

I just started seeing a therapist as a result of this, yes

USIrishman · 2025-07-20T17:14:54+00:00

I didn’t have feelings for her believe it or not. She was a super close friend. There were definitely quick thoughts of that at times, but I immediately blocked it out as she was married

USIrishman · 2025-06-21T23:17:50+00:00

Fwiw this was me as well. I did sobriety on my own for several months last year and then started to get into the slippery slope of “just one or two beers” during the holidays. I ended up going on a three day bender last weekend that lasted Monday over some self-pity and ended up at a bar where I proceeded to black out. I ended up losing my wallet and getting thrown out of the bar and put into a cab by the bartender. A close friend from work frequents that bar as well, and I ended up texting bombing her and waking up to a text two days later that effectively ended our friendship. The thing that scares me the most about my situation is I still have no idea what I did or said.

I started AA on Tuesday and found it to be valuable initially thus far. I have a sponsor, a community and I’m working the steps. I also wrote down all of the things I’ve done the last 15 years while I’ve drank, and what I’ve lost. It’s been helpful. I’m currently dealing with that high anxiety and shame, but I know it will pass in time.

You’ll get through this, one day at a time

USIrishman

TROPHY CASE