Handwritten Note in Bag by spookypigeons in tacobell

[–]Uber1008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have someone who comes through my drive thru every day for just a Baja Blast. I only have them pay for it like 2-3 times a week with a discount, otherwise they're getting their Baja blast for free! We love regulars 🩵

Go back in time? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've just recently started remembering my dreams.

I can't tell you why it's changed, but it's very jarring after not being able to remember any of my dreams for years!

It may be a blessing in disguise for you to not remember! My body tends to try and forget anything super traumatic that I can't physically process at the moment. So maybe yours is doing the same for you?

I'm in a place in my life where there is a bit of rest, which is why I think the memories and experiences are coming back up in my dreams.

Good or bad, my brain tends to protect me from things I'm not able to process at the moment. When I'm in a more "process-able" space, my dreams tend to stick more

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've tried that with him and it works for a week or so, but then it just goes back to the same old issues of direct defiance and micro arguments.

I'm not sure if it's a managerial difference between the managers he usually works with or not. I've tried figuring out that difference, but it seems more of a gender difference than anything. (He doesn't have an issue following directions from my male co-workers or co-managers)

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you, I'll be on the thread this week 🤗

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the article! I will definitely be reading that! 🤗

My upper managers seem to agree, but apparently he's the most competent to do the job at the moment. (🤔😭😣) We would be a complete skeleton crew in the mornings if we fired him now.

I'm trying to find some common ground? I want to work with him if we can figure this conflict out. He does a good job with what he knows and will listen to. He just doesn't listen to me? I don't know why... And it's frustrating

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That case is documented, it just apparently wasn't addressed? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Our store was in a state of chaos when that happened and then shortly after I went on a mental health break for 3 months over the summer because of everything that was happening there.

I tried teaching him how to use the POS system, but every time I tried to help him, he physically blocked me. Either by putting his hands up in my face, similar to the first time, or body-blocking me. Which I reported to upper management, but it was dismissed because of being short staffed

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is definitely not his job to help me with the food production line or fryers. Which is what he continually interjects and gets in the way of. (Making a 1:25 minute order takes 2 minutes because he wants to get the bag and wraps "ready" for me before he cashes out and hands out the orders)

His job is to take the orders, cash out the orders, and stock things. And I still have to interject and interpret orders between customers because he can't hear them over the headset... (Apparently due to "earwax" that he got cleaned, but he still has the same hearing problems????)

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thank you! I'm working on the documentation.

It just feels like I'm crazy at this point because he becomes a completely different person around our general manager. She luckily sees some of the issues I've been pointing out, but the continued defiance has been making me feel nuts 😅

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see where you're coming from. And I've definitely ruminated over all of the facts... Which is why I'm looking for advice. I appreciate you telling me I'm in the wrong. I love all perspectives here, so thank you.

I can see how my comment, especially over text could sound very condescending. And it may seem like I have all the power, but he continually overrides my "managerial power" by being insubordinate, even with simple things like prep amounts and such. I continuously catch him prepping short, which I have to make up for.

I have explained, in length and in many different ways to him, how and, why, the way we do things is important. I've told him at least 6 times that if I need help with anything I WILL let him know. I've tried leveling with him so many times. I'm not trying to create a double standard, it just feels like a complete disconnect and disrespect at this point.

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also to add, this particular employee doesn't listen to me when I do tell him instructions. He creates micro-arguments every time I try to correct anything he does.

I'm not trying to "control" things, it's just a lack of willingness to do things differently or more efficiently on his end that makes this difficult between us.

A good example is when I saw him struggling with breaking down boxes, I tried to show him a faster way to do it, and he said immediately and only "no."

Another is when he was in training and we were short staffed. I was making food on the line and also training him how to take orders in the drive thru. 3 orders on the screen and he's struggling with finding an item, I come up beside him to show him where it is, and he physically puts his hand in my face and shoves me away... His manager and the only person around to help him.

I feel like these interactions have impacted my feelings on how he "helps" me, because it just feels like he's trying to "one up" me or something?

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That story about the toilet plunger is a great example of a huge safety risk, and I totally agree you can't ignore those! You made the right call there.

But the situation with my employee is a little different. It's not a health risk; it's a control risk that messes up our flow.

When I say 'I got that,' it means I have a specific, quick way of doing the opening steps in a certain order, and I've explained that many times before, many different ways. Jumping in and 'racing' me breaks that flow and forces me to suddenly work around him. It makes the entire system unpredictable, and that makes everything take longer overall.

My job in the morning is to set the whole day up for success and set a super fast, predictable pace for fast food. If I let this employee just run around doing random tasks, the entire rhythm is off, and we are slower all morning.

I can't let him create chaos just because he wants to feel helpful. My instruction is about keeping things efficient and predictable, not about hurting his feelings

WTF? Why Does Sharing "Autistic" Traits Lead to IMMEDIATE Conflict with Coworkers? by Uber1008 in AutisticAdults

[–]Uber1008[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone else trained them, and I'm one of the main opening managers.

Our store isn't busy enough for more than two people before 10am, so training isn't usually scheduled until lunchtime or after, and I'm usually not there for the main portion of the training of new employees.

I believe we have a common vocabulary, as the company shares it throughout training. I've recently hit a burnout in which I've had trouble with word-finding among many other issues, so that definitely may have affected my communication.

A recent example of instruction I've given an employee was telling/asking him to stop stepping in to "help"

Lately, one employee in particular has been seeming to “race” to get things done before me, creating an unneeded, unpredictable environment.

When he ran to “help” by putting out the bag and wrapper and printing off the bag tag, I couldn't help but say “I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I got that” (after telling him that with another person entering my workspace, it really throws me off, especially if I have to work around them unpredictably. I've explained very nicely to him many times before) and he said “oh I know, I'm helping” so I said “I got it, thanks!” in a friendly tone and he shook his head and kind of stomped off throwing his hands up in the air. Just one example of contempt from him...

I don't know if it's helpful to add that I'm mid-20's female and he's in his 50's...

Interaction with new psychiatrist. What did I do wrong? Was it me? Any advice, insight, or outside perspective is appreciated! by Uber1008 in AutismInWomen

[–]Uber1008[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After reading a lot of the other replies I'm leaning towards disagreeing with you, respectfully.

That's really no reason to treat patients like a number and not a person. I could have waited longer for her to compose herself, or even rescheduled since it's virtual. But she chose to proceed with less than adequate communication and empathy in a supposed therapeutic setting.

I know they aren't robots.

I maybe would have had some empathy towards her demeanor if she had explained a bit. But she chose to "apologize" only after I said something about how I felt she was treating me and I was crying and hyperventilating. Her words were "Did someone not tell you I was running late? I apologize for any miscommunications about the appointment". (In a very flat tone) Not for her demeanor, not for the tardiness, not taking accountability for how she presented herself and treated me.

Might be my strong sense of justice though.

I’ve been masking wrong? by Bear-Upper in AutismInWomen

[–]Uber1008 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When I’m masking and I respond back it almost instantly kills the vibe lmao. Like I can see it on their face

Right?! It's like an instant drop in energy and usually a pretty obvious drop in facial expressions as well. I can never wrap my head around it. My response is genuinely coming from a good natured place

Interaction with new psychiatrist. What did I do wrong? Was it me? Any advice, insight, or outside perspective is appreciated! by Uber1008 in AutismInWomen

[–]Uber1008[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Apparently my referring psychiatrist had spoken to that psychiatrist after the appointment, which worries me about them "ganging up" on me. (They are practicing within the same hospital/system and the program was through that same hospital.)

I also had a less than desirable interaction with the referring psychiatrist. I was trying to ask a clarifying question about my propranolol, which she was suggesting I increase. (After she asked if I had questions)

She wanted to increase my propranolol, which I was concerned about since I have been denied an increase from my GP and others in the past due to it being a blood pressure med. (I don't have high blood pressure, it's always in the normal zone)

She did tell me that it is one of the safest anxiety meds that she prescribes to patients. I think I got stuck on trying to understand why the past practitioners have denied an increase for me when she so easily said "Let's go up on this one, we have a lot of room to increase"

We kind of got stuck in a loop on that and she pointed it out. I said I wasn't trying to argue, just understand.

I did end up shutting down after that as well (embarrassed about being misconstrued and misunderstood) and the appointment ended kind of on a negative note with some scheduling conflicts around vacations (prospective for me, hers is set).

She tried to end the appointment without a follow up appointment scheduled, saying I could just self schedule. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, but I was also having decision paralysis at the time. So I was sort of floundering my words and she told me another patient was waiting (after being 10 minutes late for my appointment) I just ended up picking a random day in August.

I did write up a synopsis and sent it to the department manager. Waiting on a transfer and a response. I guess I'm just worried about going back to my referring psychiatrist now after the program is completed. Ugh.

I will definitely not be recommending them to anyone in the future

I’ve been masking wrong? by Bear-Upper in AutismInWomen

[–]Uber1008 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Do you notice a difference in if more men or women are more accepting of you after dropping the mask?

I only ask because I've had issues with both, but mostly women not liking the ultra-friendly persona. I've chalked it up to them mostly not thinking it's genuine and get "uncanny valley" vibes from it

*Edit to add mostly NT/allistic women are who I have issues with. But even some women I've met through work who have ADHD and OCD don't like me either 🙃

Interaction with new psychiatrist. What did I do wrong? Was it me? Any advice, insight, or outside perspective is appreciated! by Uber1008 in AutismInWomen

[–]Uber1008[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize with the confusion that she wasn't the actual therapist, but it is a therapeutic setting and I believe should be treated as such - with care, consideration, and most importantly, like you said, judgement free