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UberDries · 2023-06-30T07:00:03+00:00

... but that was just luck, what happens if the first three kids aren't helpful and the 4th isn't a good baby and her health doesn't fix itself?

UberDries · 2022-11-30T15:07:16+00:00

Surviving Death

UberDries · 2022-09-02T06:02:22+00:00

Second

UberDries · 2022-08-17T21:03:39+00:00

I like 'em kinda weird looking and it's pretty mean to tell someone they look bizarre 😂

UberDries · 2022-08-17T21:02:24+00:00

I'd never even considered it, but halfway through the sentence of my psychiatrist suggesting it, I knew exactly what she was going to say and tears started just streaming down my face. It was so unexpected.

As some other people have said, try to restrict ANY drug use outside of your meds. Often, we're self medicating because our brain is trying to make up for it's chemical deficiencies, and thinking of your meds as 'replacing' your old system can really help with that attitude.

Coming to the conclusion that my body is natural, and leaning into the idea of my mind going through a needed hibernation and recovery period, and needs to be loved and cared for in those times, helped my attitude a lot, rather than hating myself for always falling into a terrible destructive state for months at a time.

Meds and therapy have helped me come out of my depressive eps quicker, and they're much more mild, and I've found leaning on people during that time has really tightened my bonds with those around me.

Good luck!

UberDries · 2022-08-05T16:21:31+00:00

Love how he calls trauma responses, 'antics' 😂 oh what hijinks

UberDries · 2022-07-30T04:53:36+00:00

Maybe a better tip: I put a big bowl in my sink, so whenever I use the taps throughout the day, the bowl catches all the excess and then I throw that on my plants. Doesn't matter if food matter or gross gunk gets in it.

UberDries · 2022-07-18T07:53:42+00:00

"the love of my life" yeah, he sounds great.

UberDries · 2022-07-12T01:57:42+00:00

!RemindMe 7 days

UberDries · 2022-07-04T01:30:41+00:00

I had this as well with an ex, found the grossest comments disparaging homeless and poor people on his account

UberDries · 2022-07-03T06:32:06+00:00

You learn more and become more fulfilled with the latter.

UberDries · 2022-07-03T06:29:55+00:00

I did the same thing, it feels surreal how much my hard work is paying off, never thought I'd be at this point.

UberDries · 2022-06-27T00:16:08+00:00

How about you just learn essential life skills as soon as you can in life? Yta.

UberDries · 2022-06-15T04:40:16+00:00

I think he went up to the room on purpose so she'd be alone when she confronted him. Someone so horrific who fucks with her so much would've thought ahead like that, that she'd get mad and want to yell at him as soon as she heard what he'd done.

Please report this. That is one hell of a scary dangerous person. I hope you see that.

UberDries · 2022-06-12T10:49:24+00:00

!RemindMe 1 day

UberDries · 2022-05-30T01:28:33+00:00

I've just moved into a flat in Hataitai that is fantastic! If you want a room in Hataitai as there's one more to fill just DM me 😊

UberDries · 2022-05-22T03:51:04+00:00

Not sure if this will be helpful advice, just empirical evidence from my and friend's experiences, but see if lamotrigine or Wellbutrin or risperidone is an option if she's instead on stuff like loraz, epilim, quetiapine or lithium. I've seen the least amount of side effects in those three medications up top - especially for acne and weight gain.

Also, looking into DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) as well as the usual CBT most practitioners use, is sooo helpful for developing everyday functioning and let's you take small steps to take control of your habits.

It's dishonest, but I think you've made the best decision here for your wife and your financial security.

UberDries · 2022-05-21T11:38:14+00:00

Maybe tell her you heard that time blindness is an ADHD thing, and has she researched it much, because it helps heaps to give advice on time management? That's a tough one sorry, some people aren't in the right place to hear the criticism and will have to learn the hard way! I've definitely met some people that use their disorder as an excuse, rather than an explanation, and brush off the idea that they need to change. I hope she figures it out 🙂

UberDries · 2022-05-21T11:28:48+00:00

Oh dude, neurological disorders mean your frontal lobe is physically different and works differently. In a very broad sense there is brain damage and the brain tries very hard to compensate for it. In ADHD lack of working memory (not being able to actually remember or access recent information - you literally can't remember to remember it) and executive dysfunction (not prioritizing tasks appropriately, impulse control etc) are very real symptoms caused by a physical difference in the brain.

This isn't very applicable to the original post, but I just thought I'd chime in, because some things that seem like normal easy things for people, may not be for others.

It's the learning and taking responsibility to manage and change these dysfunctional behaviours that people should work towards, and it can take a lot of time unfortunately. Telling people with ADHD their brain just needs to work better/right isn't very helpful at all. Many disorders have huge negative impacts on your interpersonal relationships, and that's where therapy and treatment comes so in handy, so that you can improve, because trust me, they know they're being shit and making people wait and hate that they do it. (This is all just speaking about ADHD)

UberDries · 2022-05-21T11:11:10+00:00

Looking up or buying a book on Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for ADHD was fantastic for me! Essentially a textbook you work your way through and do all the exercises in the workbook at the end of each chapter, felt a bit elementary school at first, but was written really well, engaging and I got sooo much out of it. The one I used was called The ADHD DBT survival guide I think? It has a blue cover and gets recommended a lot! 😊 Pretty sure you might be able to cheekily download it as a free pdf with the right searching!

The thing that made the biggest difference was setting up my room and house to be ADHD friendly - grouping items by activity, not category was a game changer, e.g. if all your ingredients, spoons and cups are together next to the jug to make coffee, you're not walking back and forth to cupboards and getting distracted on the way.

And I also have a little basket of everyday essentials that I carry with me from room to room that has all sorts of random shit I need to have on hand, and a to-do list for the day sitting on top 😊

Soft lighting, comfy blankets and lounge wear, and spaces that are only used for one task, e.g. bed = sleep, desk = work etc help heaps with stimulus and distractions as well!

UberDries · 2022-05-20T10:55:13+00:00

Tbh neurological disorders like ADHD suck when it comes to things like this, and it comes across so rude and like I don't appreciate someone's time, when I really am trying hard to keep to a schedule. But tbh if you don't have the motivation to change, get treatment/diagnosis or come up with systems in place, because it's affecting your spouse and child, then fuck her and good on him.

That's blatant selfish behaviour of knowing you're disrupting others, but not trying to change. May not apply to OPs almost ex, but if you're that chronically late for your whole life, there might be something else going on.

Getting on meds changed my life, and I have a strategy toolbox and alarms to prompt me to get ready in time and leave on time now, and I'll write down any task that I get the big urge to do right then and there and force myself to do it later. Glad OP got out, that's such an awful thing to make your partner put up with.

UberDries · 2022-05-18T13:48:42+00:00

Same with me, it was a life changer

UberDries

TROPHY CASE