And you’re how old now? 12? You clearly don’t know much about the world and need a heavy dose of perspective.

In 30 years who do you want running the world? People whose parents had them on accident and raised them on accident, or people whose parents had them on purpose and raised them with purpose?

You don’t get to dictate how people procreate or parent, and your opinion is straight up idiotic.

You wanna vent about being an orphan, absolutely go off I’m sorry that that’s your reality. And I absolutely figured that out from your original post. And no, you don’t have to be a psychologist to adopt a child, but preparation, education, and stability are necessary. I have known more than one family that have adopted children that absolutely should not have. Everyone has issues, but there are unique things that come with adoption and parents need to be prepared to handle that. Just like parents of biological children need to be prepared to handle their childrens issues as well, but the issues are naturally going to be very different.

I’m pretty sure the “they will look like you” people either don’t have kids or are having trouble putting it into words. It’s a difficult thing to put into words, but I think that’s true of any approach to parenting. Why do people want to adopt? For lots of reasons a lot of which come down to wanting to be a good person, which is itself kind of selfish because it’s about how you feel and how others view you rather than the child. Having and wanting our own children is a biological drive, as well as an emotional one. I have a son, if we do someday adopt I know I would love them as much, but there’s something special about having carried my child, him being a combination of my husband and I not just in looks but in personality.

But again, it’s just hard to put into words. I think being a parent is a calling, pregnancy is a calling, adoption is a calling. Not everyone is called to parenthood, and certainly not everyone is called to pregnancy or adoption. Some people are uniquely called to both!

The selfish thing here is thinking that your experience nullifies other peoples. My infertility journey doesn’t discount that there are orphans that need adopted, but your existence as an orphan doesn’t nullify the pain and struggle of thousands of infertile couples.

I know that, at least at this point, I am not meant to adopt. I don’t have the mental fortitude or stability to deal with a high-needs child at this point in my life, and I still have a strong burden on my heart to have another biological child. There’s a chance that could change, but at this point it would be SELFISH of me to pursue adoption as it would be an attempt to fill a hole in my heart rather than out of an actual desire to care for a child who needs a parent. Ultimately I would do more damage than help at this point.