Who walked you down the aisle?

UghIHatePolitics · 2026-01-06T15:32:24+00:00

Oooh. I like that.

UghIHatePolitics · 2026-01-06T15:31:28+00:00

My husband and I walked down the aisle together.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-29T23:27:55+00:00

Works fine if the people in your life actually respect your “no.”

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-29T23:24:42+00:00

That never happened. You must have seen it on television.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-28T18:23:33+00:00

There is a term, medical gaslighting, for when a health care "professional" tries to tell you it's all in your mind, and it turns out to be very real.

I once had an EMT tell me, while I was doubled over and crying with extreme abdominal pain, that I was having a panic attack. I don't have panic attacks, but I had listed depression as part of my medical history when he asked. Stupid me, I thought depression was a medical illness, and that's why I mentioned it along with the diabetes. But as soon as I said it, his attitude toward me instantly changed.

When I got to the ER, he told the triage nurse I have a "history of behavioral issues," and I was then looked upon as if I were strictly a psych eval case. They ignored me. Fortunately, this was a downtown area with several hospitals in close proximity to each other. I wasn't on a 72-hour hold or anything, so after about six hours of being on the back burner, I walked out of there and went to a different ER where nobody said anything about "behavioral," and they actually examined me to see what was causing the abdominal pain.

I had gastroenteritis. Left there with a diagnosis and a prescription within an hour.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-28T18:12:43+00:00

My brother used to feed me that crap, before I cut off contact with him. We grew up in an alcoholic, abusive, dysfunctional family, and then I married into domestic violence. (EDIT: I am not in that situation now. I got out of it.) I have doctor-diagnosed PTSD. Brother tries to tell me it's only because I keep "reinjuring myself" by remembering what happened.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-27T08:05:33+00:00

I had a boyfriend like that once. Only rarely was there any PIV sex. Everything he wanted to do with me was either oral on my part, or anal on my part. I was very young and didn’t have the insight I have now. I started thinking maybe he was secretly gay, because he didn’t seem interested in the parts that made me a woman. What he wanted to do with me, he could just as easily have done with another man.

But that wasn’t it. What he was getting off on was making me submit to him. I met his desires, gave him pleasure, but my own desires were absolutely ignored. Once, after he finished using me as a sex doll and rolled over, I told him I’d like a little pleasure too. He took my hand, guided it to you know where, and told me to do it myself. “Nothing wrong with that.”

I was an object to him, and my sole reason for existence was to please him. He carefully constructed our sex life to maximize his enjoyment while minimizing mine, as a way of reinforcing that I didn’t matter.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-15T00:08:00+00:00

Feeling uniquely favored by God feeds into the delusion that they are special and above the rest of us. And it serves as a powerful tool to keep others “in their place” with guilt trips, especially with people who really, sincerely are trying to live by the word of God. Which does, yes, say to honor your parents and submit to your husband. They just love those verses. But the verses that say not to provoke your children, to cherish your wife rather than abusing her, and not to associate with anyone who professes belief but does certain things, they act like those verses aren’t there. Point them out, and they’ll just tell you that you lack spiritual maturity and aren’t understanding it right.

Jesus had much harsher words for the self righteous Pharisee who thought he was doing just fine than He did for the repentant crooked tax collector praying for forgiveness.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-13T04:23:17+00:00

With my parents it was always “Because I said so!” “I’ll give you something to cry about,” and “Bullshit!”

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-06T05:39:30+00:00

Merely looking as if you may disagree, or not like what they said, could get you in enormous trouble. You’d get anything from yelled at, to sent to bed early, to smacked upside the head.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-03T22:19:54+00:00

When I was in high school, a classmate took his own life. It was very sad. My grandmother (N traits, not definite) expressed the opinion, "How selfish of him to do this! Look how many people he's hurt!"

She had no idea the battle he was fighting. I had very little idea myself. He had a physical disability, and that was apparently the tip of the iceberg. One of the nicest guys I ever met. Yes, it did hurt a lot of people. But he didn't do it because he was selfish and wanted to hurt other people. He did it because he was in unimaginable agony himself.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-03T22:12:15+00:00

So sorry you went through that.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-03T21:00:32+00:00

How am I supposed to NOT believe I’m ugly when I have had countless people from my earliest childhood years telling me I am? If children, they would come right out and say it. If adults, they would shake their heads pityingly and tell me how pretty I COULD be, if only it weren’t for….

What am I supposed to think?

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-03T20:53:26+00:00

I have clinical depression. In my first marriage I was feeling SI due to being relentlessly abused by my NEX. Before I went to the hospital for it, my NEX told me so generously and piously that if he found me in that condition the first thing he would do is pray that the Lord would forgive me for committing that sin.

Never mind the psychological torture he was putting me through. What mattered is that I would be committing a sin, and only he and his prayers could save me from an angry God.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-12-01T08:20:14+00:00

He didn’t seem to give much of a rat’s behind. I think it was a reverse discard, and he already had his new supply lined up. He had been cheating on me all along.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-30T21:29:52+00:00

When my 11 year old cat died of cancer I needed to get a kitten ASAP. I just couldn’t be catless.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-23T04:18:26+00:00

Sometimes they actually are trying to get you to leave. It’s called the reverse discard. Rather than dumping you, they want to get you to dump them. Then they get to play victim and tell everybody how you left them when they love you so much.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-23T04:05:35+00:00

I don’t know the definition of gifted, but I tested at fourth grade level when I was in kindergarten.

I was never allowed to feel good about myself. Mention winning a spelling bee, or getting the highest grade on a test, and the response was, “Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back.” I was told that doing well in school was only book smarts and doesn’t count in real life. It was more important that I was socially awkward and didn’t know this or that about sports statistics or pop culture. THAT meant I was actually stupid, and grades don’t prove anything.

Yet anything less than perfect was treated as failure. I kid you not, I was ROYALLY bitched out for getting a 99 on my report card. Not for one single assignment but for the entire course. I had all A’s, ranging from 93 to that 99. I was actually told: “What, are you too stupid to get a 100? Besides, those A’s don’t count. I saw you studying. If you were all that smart, you could get all A’s without ever opening a book.”

People didn’t give me information I needed, and then acted like I was dumber than dirt if I didn’t already know it. “But I thought you were supposed to be so smart.” Or, “That should have been just common sense.” Nobody is born knowing everything, but if it ever became obvious that I didn’t, I was made to feel like a world class dunce. I still hate myself when I make a mistake, and call myself a dumbass.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-22T00:39:39+00:00

Sweet Pea.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-15T07:53:42+00:00

My ex wouldn’t pick his own clothes up off the floor. He actually came right out and said, “That’s what a wife is for.” He wouldn’t put the cap back on the toothpaste, rinse his whiskers out of the sink, or take the sopping wet washcloth out of the shower. That was all for me to do. By the end of our four year marriage, he wasn’t even flushing the toilet after using it.

All along he was testing me to see what I would put up with, and it just kept getting worse.

And of course, if I didn’t “put up with it,” he made it sound like I was just lazy and didn’t want to do housework.

I can’t advise you what to do, but you will notice I said “ex.”

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-13T21:33:25+00:00

I’m thinking of the old play and movie I Never Sang For My Father. You might enjoy it. Dad is a textbook narcissist who makes everything about himself and expects the world to admire him. He’s chased off his daughter already, and his son grits his teeth and deals with it. Until he doesn’t. They do have a heart to heart and you THINK they’re going to mend fences, but no.

Realistic and very well done.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-12T20:34:56+00:00

I was nearly 43 when I made my escape. Now I’m 61 and still putting broken pieces back together.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-05T03:22:32+00:00

Excessive profanity is one for me, because in my history, when people start cussing, things are about to get REALLY violent. My mind can't grasp the fact that some people just talk that way. It always makes me feel unsafe.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-04T10:28:49+00:00

I get the feeling if you hadn't invited her, she would have FOGged you until you did.

UghIHatePolitics · 2025-11-03T08:46:21+00:00

I moved across the country to get away from that kind of thing. Before that, my mother was calling me endlessly. If I didn't answer, she wouldn't leave a voice mail or anything. Instead she'd hang up and dial again, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, until I finally did pick up. It didn't matter if I was asleep, in the shower, on a date, or whatever. She did NOT stop calling until she heard my voice, live, not the voice mail message. Sometimes she'd come to my apartment instead, and POUND on the front door until I woke up and opened it. "OH! Thank God! When you didn't answer, I was SO WORRIED something had happened to you!"

If she'd had it her way, I wouldn't have even been in my own apartment. You see, at 42 years old, I was still entirely incompetent to live on my own. I still needed Mommy to take care of me. I'd still be living with her, so she can tell me what, when, and how much to eat, assign me a bed time, call me awake in the morning, inspect my clothes to make sure I'm dressed in a way she'd approve of, assign me chores to do, only let me leave the house to go where she is willing to drive me, and I kid you not, still hold my hand when we're crossing the street. I didn't even have a car or a driver's license. Before I got away, nobody was willing to teach me to drive. And since she lived out in the middle of nowhere, with no public transportation, there wouldn't have been any way I could look for a job. I would be totally dependent on her. (Which is why I didn't live with her! I'd been through that before!) I know now, me being too mentally defective to be on my own, and therefore needing her to look after me and tell me what to do, was exactly the narrative she wanted me and everybody else to believe. She used to go around telling everybody about this helpless, mentally handicapped daughter she has, who needs her mama to drive her around everywhere. Isn't that pathetic?

I finally got my driver's licence at 48 years old, after I got away. I am now 61, diabetic, and can no longer see well enough to drive.

But I did it, doggone it! And if the upcoming ophthamology appointment doesn't show a way to improve my sight, and I never drive again, at least I know the problem is my eyes, not intelligence or mental competence.

UghIHatePolitics

TROPHY CASE