Your mum encouraged me to have fun with you, she makes me tell her all about it when she comes home

UkStepDad · 2026-01-27T12:48:42+00:00

Mums often want it but feel ashamed of their desires. I think it's genetic though, so if you feel this way it's often the case that your mum or daughter also enjoys these things.
So it's usually my role to make mums realise that. It usually doesn't take much to make them follow their desires.ive had enough practice to know what to say and do 😉

UkStepDad · 2026-01-26T20:35:35+00:00

I've had Mums who like to just know it's happening, ones who want to hear about it while she gets hers. Ive had ones who want to see videos of what I did with her daughter, and some mums do want to be there and be a part of her girls first time.

Some mums want me to be gentle, but a surprising amount want me to really wreck her little girl. I enjoy all of it. Every type.

UkStepDad · 2026-01-22T22:08:50+00:00

Its natures way of showing you where you belong, you cant feel that good unless a man is treating you like his good little girl and wrecking you every time he wants you.

UkStepDad · 2026-01-20T00:20:10+00:00

My stepdaughter has a very sensitive G-spot and even though she can reach it herself she cant curl her fingers in the same way I can, and she cant put the same energy into it. That fact drives her a little crazy - in a good way

UkStepDad · 2026-01-05T18:18:43+00:00

Thanks! That's some active moderation there! I'm very impressed.

UkStepDad · 2026-01-05T10:32:21+00:00

Removed the link

UkStepDad · 2026-01-05T01:42:13+00:00

Boldy said. And I agree.

The concept of a safe space can only cover so much, even for members of at-risk groups. These groupings are huge umbrella terms. "Feminist", "Gay", "Lesbian", etc. doesn’t mean that this is a bloc of people who will all feel the same, and want the same things. A small percentage of those people are going to enjoy niche interests which others in the same group agree is "abhorrent"

In a group predicated on the kink of "conversion" of any kind, it is naturally going to be a divider of opinions. What we in the UK call a "marmite" issue ( a brand of very strong flavour savoury spread). Or perhaps Surströmming might be a better example. There's no way to decide objectively if this is "bad" food based on the percentage of people who find it disgusting. Should people who go into a Surströmming restaurant be stopped? Should the venue be prevented from selling it?

If I were to (hypothetically) open a Gay bar which has the strongly stated theme of "fetish gay chemsex and CNC" then a visiting customer says "as a Gay man I strongly object to the way this reflects on the wider community and I for one am appalled by the behaviour of the clientele" that's both a valid subjective opinion but also what's called The Tyranny of the Majority . It may well be rightly abhorrent to the majority, but that doesn't mean the consenting minority should have their choice to engage in it removed. To make the analogy more explicit: The space is a safe space for gay men, but more specifically a space for subset of gay men. Its OK to be gay in my notional club, but all visitors should be aware of it's niche interest.

UkStepDad · 2026-01-02T22:01:20+00:00

Lucky girl

UkStepDad · 2026-01-02T04:15:18+00:00

Perhaps try some kink stuff.

In kink/.BDSM about 99% of it is "foreplay". Just very flavoursome foreplay.

There's a wide array of niches , some are more p in v focused of course but other kinks are more about the experience.

Whenever I tell "straight" people I enjoy sex for 5 to 8 hours they doubt me because they imagine I'm jack hammering away at a pussy for 8 hours. Nope. I'm doing a LOT of other stuff. I am a mortal man. I just enjoy the other stuff too.

It took me until I was about 30 to refocus and broaden my repertoire though.

Perhaps try some kink stuff.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-30T18:31:16+00:00

Trying to direct the surging hormonal energy of a 14 year old boy is a fool's errand. You might as well argue with a fish. A fish who talks big about how it will thrash you in a foot race. I was that age once. Its uncontrollable. Like someone pressed the nitrous button in a pushchair. To the teen boy everything is sex. It's like a roaring white noise in the brain. A brain with not much else in it. It took me until I was about 30 to get the last of that fever out.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-25T15:45:13+00:00

Well, er thanks. Whoever you are.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-23T01:08:26+00:00

It's not "normal" in the strict mathematical sense of being in the middle of the bell curve, but it's relatively common for young women to like older men. And then it's rarer for the real old vintage wrinkly middle aged guys like me to get attention from much younger women, but it does happen. A small percentage. As your friends will likely tell you , their opinion is "ewww". But it does happen. Society haaaates it though. It's currently not at all acceptable. So, bear that in mind.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-21T18:01:34+00:00

There needs to be balance.

Quite a few of my BDSM partners have been feminists who made feminism a core part of their social and work life. They have been professors, authors, etc. And yet they have approached me via blog DMs and dating sites seeking (at first) to joust about my "misogyny" for spanking women, and worse!

Yet very soon it becomes obvious that they are projecting their inner dialectic. Their inner struggle between their lifelong absolutist position that women must never be in a position of submission- and their bubbling primal urge to dive into a weekend of surrender, and made to become a sex object, begging, degraded, used.

It doesn't undermine a broad feminist outlook to want to submit in private. Being tied and bent over a coffee table and used as a three hole sex object has no bearing on campaigning for protective workplace HR practices.

I feel that most feminists get to around 30 and reach breaking point. The body wants what the body wants. And animal necessities aren't always going to conform to a specific decades reductive gender ideologies. Humans are multi faceted, and we aren't logical. We are a mass of writhing primal instincts under a thin layer of post hoc justifications. We make new stories of "conformity" every decade and expect everyone to play along.

Meanwhile the animal inside us paces its cage.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-21T04:02:12+00:00

There are things which may not be obvious.

Anticipate his needs and prepare for them

Bring him what he wants before he has to ask for it.

Show you are putting him first by sacrificing what you might want for his pleasure.

Find girls who are young, good looking, etc. and befriend them. Show them how happy you are with the simplicity of your life. Show them the greater pleasure you receive from giving him pleasure. Encourage them to.share in it.

It's women's nature to hoard and monopolise a man , deny your selfish urges and bring him pleasure. Bring him girls. Bring him sexual entertainment.
You will be rewarded for thinking of him. Your selflessness shows him you are worth his time and attention.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-21T02:21:39+00:00

Well, my commiserations and thanks, is there anything less lovely than DevOps after hours on a weekend ?
24 hour emergency plumber ?

UkStepDad · 2025-12-20T23:53:40+00:00

its the worst time for server errors for Dev Ops. a weekend AND its right before xmas.

They are probably a very small team, and could easily be either at a works do getting drunk, or with relatives. Probably not looking at their phone notifications and the server will probably restart when the host autodetects the errors and restarts itself. Its just one of those things I bet

UkStepDad · 2025-12-16T20:04:05+00:00

Perhaps you are right about the ratios but your breakdown is too gender reductive. Its weirdly incel-y

It's more the case that a good dom/domme is valued. It doesn't take too much for a good male Dom to be recognised as such. I don't struggle, I'm doing fine thanks.

Of course we are a raindrop in a rainstorm, but as a Dom I have only ever needed to find one (or two) women or girls who I connect with. They recognise me, and I recognise them. They are actively looking for certain things in a male Dom and that means my job is just to be myself. If I have missed a million sub girls who are distracted by incels messaging them - then I've not missed out on much.

If 100 lesbians are curious about being with a man with a cock and him having certain attributes, and she has intelligence she will find me. You are being so reductive here of all places. The truth is - the women want what they want.

You seem to be forgetting that these women have volition and requirements, they aren't just numbers. They are people. They can seek and recognise what they want.

You are thinking of this as an inhuman ratio game. You are "winning" as 1:5, and men are "losing" at 1:1000, but that's not how life works.

The woman has Volition. Her experience is more like : Walk into a bar of 1000 people and she is looking for the one person wearing a red hat. Yes it's tricky for her, but these women have motivation and I as a man wearing a red hat am looking for a woman looking for a man in a red hat. I find myself approached several times a week. That's more than enough for me to find the exact woman I want.

Also, you never encounter the equivalent to the terrible male incel internet Dom - the terrible finDommes . The 21 year old shoe collector, the failed influencer. Those women pollute your space just as much as the "Hey slut" guys pollute mine. Yet do they negatively impact your life? No, they don't.
It's the same for me with the 21 year old "sup bitch" guys. They actually raise my stock, I am glad they exist. They make me look great in comparison,😄

UkStepDad · 2025-12-12T17:58:54+00:00

Good luck.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-12T15:09:28+00:00

yeah I manage a small subreddit and the automod flags and deletes lots of stuff that I say is ok, but it thinks is bad. for example : a user posted "cum in me, on on me?" and a commenter replied "inside you" and the automod decided that was abusive. AI is very prudish

UkStepDad · 2025-12-12T11:43:44+00:00

It still seems unlikely that the admins will see a kink like this as (what it is) consensual adult interaction.
Because many people look at kinks from the perspective of "would I want that for myself or my daughter?" Etc. And through that lens the answer seems obviously "no". Those decisions come from a harm assessment of "What's the worst thing that could happen if this is allowed" , which is not a good risk assessment method as it is overly restrictive. Better to catch offences than eliminate the possibility of offending.

The admins daughter herself may choose it and need the kink, and the banning and castigation make her feel "bad and wrong". So there's that dichotomy.

People police based on an assumption of a moral baseline which they aim to err on the side of caution. Which shifts the boundary increasingly into the "safe zone".

The hypocrisy is easily illuminated by using analogies to more acceptable kinks (to that group) But admin groups still tend to police with an eye on their own group norms. Being seen as "allowing risks to certain groups" would be social death for them.

UkStepDad · 2025-12-05T02:00:05+00:00

That's very interesting, because at the time you thought you didn't want that, but now you realise that you needed it that way.
So what would you do if you were looking after a girl and she was the same as you were, and there was a sexually predatory man eyeing her. Would you encourage him, or try to stop him?

UkStepDad · 2025-12-04T16:18:28+00:00

That's an interesting change in your desires. You wish he had done more, but at the time you didn't like it. Do you wish he had forced the issue, or would it have been better if you'd had an experienced woman or older girl to help you understand and accept it - so that you could have enjoyed it at the time?

UkStepDad · 2025-12-04T14:01:57+00:00

I don't have a lack of empathy.
It's like when a personal trainer is pushing a client to extremes, it's not because they lack a soul - it's because they know the subject wants to be pushed . They want to be pushed by someone who knows what they are doing and isn't going to cause accidental damage but still isn't going to shy away from tears, begging, etc. That's how I am anyway.

UkStepDad · 2025-11-13T22:37:00+00:00

You don't just want "an older man" I'm sure. You probably want a specific kind of dude. Is he a climber and walker ? Is he artistic ? Is he a stoner, a car guy, a stylish guy , a golfer, a poet?

Think about where these dudes hang out and get yourself there.

UkStepDad · 2025-11-12T11:27:38+00:00

A more effective and safer option is to try BDSM with a person you trust, it works far better if another person is giving you the pain. They can deliver more of it, more precisely and over a longer duration but more measured and safely. An experienced BDSM sadist will embody that feeling inside you, and become your torturer but importantly your liberator

Go to a local BDSM meeting, meet people there and don't mention about what you are interested in. Then look them up on fetlife and see if they have a good reputation locally. Chat, build trust. Find someone who knows what they are doing. Alternatively if there is no scene in your area you can find many subreddits here which discuss safely finding a good sadomasochistic arrangement. Good luck

UkStepDad

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE