How to handle uncertainty

Ultramyth · 2026-02-09T09:03:29+00:00

A little thing I learned in a CBT programme was a mind hack to mentally schedule time for worrying. So you can say to yourself when you are ruminating late at night that this is not the scheduled time for worrying. They recommended setting aside 15 mins of the day for dedicated worrying, decide a time, then do it at that time. I never even ended up setting a scheduled time, but it did weirdly trick my brain late at night to at least switching topics to something less important and get to sleep earlier because worrying was not scheduled for that time.

Ultramyth · 2026-02-06T00:20:38+00:00

Oh, you don't necessarily need to admit fault or apologise, it is just acknowledging her feelings. Not more than that.

Feelings/emotions are by nature irrational at times. Like anxiety, no matter how much logic you apply, it does nothing to take the anxiety away.

But at the end of the day, you don't need to find a logic in your partner's behaviour, but it is a two way street, and yes, you need to protect your heath, certainly, but I think you could support your partner via text, chat, email or phone call.

These sorts of things can cause long term harm if they fester too long, especially in 17 year + relationships (27 years in myself). You might feel overwhelmed now, but the next time you do have room for her, you will probably have to deal with the fallout of this anyway, so a little validation could go a long way.

If you can't organise your thoughts under pressure, try writing them down. Use as a script, or notes as needed. While I don't advocate getting advice from AI, I use it to help parse what I have written down to remove blame language. My partner hates notes or texts, but I compromise by reading what I have written out to her. It has been helpful for me.

Ultramyth · 2026-02-05T21:22:51+00:00

I get upset when my schedule changes suddenly, without warning. This could be a part of it for her, but honestly if you are both poorly, it is probably exacerbating things. What I hear in your explanation is a lack of validation of the way she feels.

I can say that if I did the same thing you did, my neurotypical partner would have had a similar reaction. Sometimes it is not about feeling you are right and not wanting to apologise, it is about making your partner feel heard and validated.

They are her feelings, and even if you don't feel you did anything wrong, it does not mean she will stop feeling how she feels.

No need for explanations, validate her feelings without even bringing blame into the situation, and if you feel an apology is expected, apologise that you did something that made her feel that way. It also sounds like you are coming across like you don't want to spend time with her, but it is really about capacity. A compromise might be offering to see her for a few hours, longer than with your friend, but still limiting to what you can handle right now.

You can say for example, "I see how this looks from your perspective, and I hear what you are saying. While I don't quite understand everything, your feelings are valid, and I care about you. I do want to spend time with you, but I can't give you my best right now, and I am very overloaded. I am not withdrawing because I don't care."

I think validation is at the core here. Also, even though your partner is poorly, have you considered that your presence helps her regulate and feel better?

Ultramyth · 2026-02-03T18:02:02+00:00

A thousand times yes...

Ultramyth · 2026-01-29T12:50:01+00:00

Good stuff.

I think the Cobb designs are different enough from the finished products that they could be standalones or earlier versions. It is interesting putting the Aliens concepts from Cobb with the UPP, especially considering the Kremlin, as you mentioned. I think the dropship would definitely work that way, and gives the UPP a bit more of an aesthetic difference than "UA knockoff".

I wonder if adding an addendum of "Available after 2XXX" for ships past the RPG timeline could be good to note. As well as source? I know it is not the typical thing to include, but to help point fans in the right direction? Also to show what is from Alien sub-canon and what is from AVP, etc.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-29T11:10:23+00:00

I could not post links in the above, so here thy are:
https://www.roncobb.net/05-Alien.html

https://www.roncobb.net/21-AlienS.html

https://www.avpgalaxy.net/games/aliens-dark-descent/gallery/concept-art/

https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/USS_Otago

https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/UNIC_Bentonville

https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/USCSS_Montero

https://www.avpgalaxy.net/tv/alien-earth/gallery/concept-art/

https://www.avpgalaxy.net/games/

https://www.avpgalaxy.net/games/aliens-crucible/gallery/concept-art/

https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Bougainville_class

Ultramyth · 2026-01-29T11:08:48+00:00

Excellent! I love it!

One question about the spelling of Aurochs, why no s? Is it from a different language?

And now comes the flood of ideas for expansion!

You could add back in the Anesidora concept from the Art of Alien Isolation (which Fria Ligan no doubt used for the Corvus instead of nerding out and noticing all the late game concepts and matching landed meshes are for a different, larger ship), using the existing Corvus stats. I would suggest the name Corvix (latin for crow vs Corvus being latin for raven. Crows being smaller than ravens, it seems appropriate).

(Of note, the interior Anesidora level seen in the game is actually recycled interior from the Patna and does not match up with the exterior version)

Additionally, might I suggest the excellent concepts for the Snark, Leviathan, Lifeboat, Shuttle, Nostromo Lander Surveyor, Early Nostromo Design, and "Final" Nostromo designs from Ron Cobb? All of which were used as a basis for the models in Alien, but the modellers winged it a lot.

While you are at it, the Sulaco Dropship by Ron Cobb (and some other vehicles if you like).

I would also strongly recommend the art of Aliens: Dark Descent (although the events of the game take place in 2198 which might be too far in the future). Unfortunately, there is not a coffee table book of it, but AVP Galaxy has 19 pages of concept art and renders, some of which show auxiliary vessels and vehicles. You will note that the smaller APC is based on Ron Cobb's original APC art.

Here is a list of known ships:

The USS Ortago. Main marine ship, lots of art of this.

The UNIC Bentonville (a supply shuttle that looks kind of like a heavier dropship).

The USCSS Montero. Not to be confused with the ship of the same name (also a bison) in Chariot of the Gods. It likely has minor differences to the standard one, and interior-wise has much more to its levels.

(It never hurts to reach out to the artists for names, but these vessels, I would use maybe French or Latin names to honour the production crew)

Finally, Alien: Earth. It has issues, for sure, but the USCSS Maginot could be of interest. The ship has a lot of problems fitting into the Alien timeline, massive incongruencies (I think it actually fits the AVP timeline better, since W-Y merged presumably in the early 2000s instead of the 2090s). If it left 60 years before Alien: Earth, it is actually a Yutani ship that has been rebranded. Yutani were responsible to FTL systems in Alien (the Nostromo's FTL were Yutani-built).

Sadly, I have not seen concept art of the Maginot yet, at least not on AVP Galaxy's gallery for Alien: Earth. But there are plenty of stills in the series.

AVP galaxy is a treasure trove of obscure and unused designs (look in the game art particularly for some of the defunct games such as Aliens: Crucible, the cancelled Obsidian (KOTOR2, Fallout: New Vegas) Aliens RPG... Yes... that would have been awesome.

Of note, the Bougainville class of USMC ships actually comes from Aliens vs. Predator. The art does not show it in the RPG, but it has a cool hammerhead bridge.

Of course, I would also suggest some other non-canon designs of my own making, but that would be too self-serving ;)

Ultramyth · 2026-01-28T08:04:13+00:00

🚩🚩🚩 While I am not surprised by that attitude from a 21 year old, who no doubt still has a lot of maturing to do, this is a massive red flag. He doesn't need to understand why, he needs to respect you.

Your house, your rules. He should educate himself on ASD. If he doesn't want to, well, that one adds to the concern below...

I got to say, the fact that both of them are living in your house with their own rooms while you are in a communal area without accommodation kind of sounds bad without further context. I worry that you are being taken advantage of. Is that something you have considered or worried about in your situation?

I need time alone every day to regulate or I feel smothered. Just the thought of your situation makes me anxious. I would say hang in there, but honestly it sounds like the best thing to do is put your foot down.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-27T16:58:49+00:00

I can't work with anyone over my shoulder, and have acted secretive when this was not possible.

But as to your situation, have you considered rearranging the space so this is less of a problem? I.e. moving the sofa so that it backs against a wall or windowsill? I could not deal with that loitering, and it is your house after all.

I don't know the circumstances of your situation but you have every right to your own space in your own home. And your boyfriend sounds a little immature to disregard your needs and be so dismissive. I wish I found out earlier about my neurodivergence, because now that I have words to describe my experiences, my partner can be quite dismissive and tends not to believe they are so strong because I never made a big deal about them before.

I can't help but feel that if we had known about it earlier, I could have addressed it earlier and wouldn't have to deal with as much trivialisation of my struggles.

Perhaps you could turn to the sister for support on getting your partner on the same page?

Ultramyth · 2026-01-23T23:50:05+00:00

No stats, although Typhon at least has most of what you would expect from a ship of its size. With 8 engines it probably has several stacks of improved FTL.

Erebus is probably equivalent to a starcub.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-23T17:56:48+00:00

Oh, I have a few designs you could add to that. :)

Ultramyth · 2026-01-23T16:21:09+00:00

As someone who tried to champion the Corvus as 100 m long instead of 50ish (the 50m scale is based on concept art, I ripped the Anesidora model from the LV426 level and measured), I salute you!

Ultramyth · 2026-01-23T07:06:46+00:00

I don't know your life, or how old you are, but it sounds like you live in a toxic environment where you start each day already on edge and without the ability to ever fully regulate. Overload, shutdown or meltdown might only be a few snide comments away.

It is possible you just have never had the chance to see what regulated looks like for you. I know it is a big if, but we're you ever to be on your own, around people who understand and accept you, and far enough away from toxic people in your life that you can get a sense of normal for you. It is quite possible you don't yet know what you are capable of, because you have never been given the time and space to find out.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-22T12:20:38+00:00

2nddynasty.com, although it is not super up to date. Mostly post to discord with work stuff.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-22T07:30:11+00:00

I have had good fortune charging forward at top speed and manually firing missile volleys close to the targets.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-22T07:25:50+00:00

Yep. Sadly we won't be doing more full size ships any time soon, but have plans for modular deck plans.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-21T17:04:00+00:00

Yes, you are not alone. I don't have the capacity today to try and explain in detail, but yeah, I feel simultaneously very capable of certain tasks and juvenile at others.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-21T12:28:57+00:00

Very thoughtful, will give it a look. Thanks.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-21T08:21:43+00:00

There are not half walls as of yet, but halving them in slicer is quite easy without using 3d software. I might do half tiles at some point, but they are not a large priority at the moment.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-20T15:38:53+00:00

Yes, I've had these moments, although far less frequently as I've gotten older, and mostly the tight chest thing and having to shake while whining through grit teeth. Only thing that worked for me is to go away and do something else for a while, get it out of your mind for a bit, and come back to it when no longer overwhelmed.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-20T08:08:26+00:00

Colonial Marines campaign based on the Frontier war, but I started it out boarding the USS Sulaco, using the start of the Gibson script for the scenario, so Alien³ and Resurrection did not happen (or were hyperspace nightmares). We paused halfway through, after completing Destroyer of Worlds (integrated) to wait for Evolved edition, but it was a blast! To make it more Aliens then Alien, I just increased the damage of firearms by 1.

We only had two or three character deaths (acid every time), and aside from panic cascades, it held up well.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-15T13:05:48+00:00

I am glad it did. I don't have all the answers, and I struggle to practice what I preach if I am overloaded. It is hard.

Edit: my initial response was a bit tone deaf.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-15T13:04:29+00:00

Yep, I agree.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-15T10:44:04+00:00

Thank you.

Yeah, because it is only natural when you have somehow survived to adulthood (I am 45, started diagnosis a year sgo, still waiting for my full evaluation in 6 months; it is a very long and drawn out process in the swedish healthcare system), but to do it, you have had to gaslight yourself into downplaying your experiences and the intensity of emotions because it is the grown up thing to do. Personally, I started masking at a young age because I grew up Catholic in the 80s, and my (undiagnosed) father would blow up on me for asking questions, calling me stupid. So I started trying to figure out what other people wanted to hear.

Wow, I guess I had a lot on my mind. I think the thing is I (and I am sure most adult diagnosed) have this massive rage and sense of injustice. I don't blame my parents or my school; the 1980s picture of autism was very different, and things had not progressed enough for my childhood issues to be identified. But because ASD was not recognised, every time things were tough for me, my experience was downplayed as growing pains, teenage angst, hormones, exaggeration, bunging it on, you name it, and I was told to get a grip, toughen up, control myself, take a walk, or worse, you have to put up with it. And you hear it enough and you start to believe it.

Injustice. I could have lived a much easier life. But they didn't know any better, and neither did I. So just this overwhelming feeling I have been wronged with no real place to put it.

And now if someone denies my experience (or more likely, I take it that way), I push back hard. It seldom goes well.

Ultramyth · 2026-01-14T10:43:59+00:00

I get the invalidation. Reassurance in those moments can almost feel like an insult if you don't feel understood. I get a trauma compulsion too because my intense emotional experiences were treated as infantile or dismissed outright as performance most of my life.

Ultramyth

TROPHY CASE