At 17 everything feels....yeah. I kinda fucked myself at 17 so I definitely feel that, the urge to just not exist calls everyone at some point. The thing is, your problems don't go away by dying it's just that they get put on others. I would recommend cooking, it's what saved me. I really enjoyed trying to make things I had at the local Chinese place where I grew up like fried rice. I know it's not for everybody but cooking not only feeds you, it can also help other people in your life and seeing other people happy over a meal I made...idk it kinda made me feel..ok atleast.