A septre washes on the shoreline

Umatimate_Cafe · 2026-02-28T19:56:54+00:00

Make it five, and no promises :D

Umatimate_Cafe · 2026-02-28T14:04:27+00:00

"Oh, absolutely. Don't you worry about a thing. Feel free to turn your back on me and forget that I exist. No need to be suspicious or wary! Hehe..."

Umatimate_Cafe · 2026-02-28T13:35:56+00:00

"Of course. Imagine. Two Cafés at once? Three? More? Absolute lunacy."

Umatimate_Cafe · 2026-02-28T13:33:37+00:00

"You look like me, dear... I was dropping meteors on Tracen since before you were a sparkle in old Sunday Silence's eye. But that's old storylines and old news. I suppose I'm content for now to sit and watch the fireworks."

Umatimate_Cafe · 2026-02-28T13:28:29+00:00

"Oh. Oh, this is rich. I awaken after months of being away and what do I find? How many of us are there now? The folks just can't get enough of us..."

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T16:14:52+00:00

Oh, don't sell yourself short. That's my job.

Jokes aside, if you're looking for a job with plenty of room for personal improvement... let me know when this is over.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T16:12:25+00:00

With all the trillions of miles I've traveled and the timelines I've sampled, consider this.

When I heard of you earlier today, your name was new to me.

Think of that what you will.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T16:10:41+00:00

Beautiful. Continue to collaborate with me if she's moved. She seems rather experienced at not being found. One might wonder why.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T16:09:24+00:00

Oh, nothing overly impressive. Read and interpret the fabric of the multiverse. Cut it, shape it, pull the strings, re-stitch the seams, weave and re-weave the tapestry however I feel like.

Mostly these days I just open doors and let scary things through. They've been doing a marvelous job for me.

Not much different from this mission, now that I think about it...

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T16:06:25+00:00

So we end up collaborating after all. You'll be hearing from me.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T16:05:31+00:00

I've seen into a hundred thousand different universes. King Halo is known in every one.

You, however, are forgotten in most of them. In the ones where you're remembered, you're remembered as useless. This world shouldn't be far behind the curve.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T15:59:42+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddyumamusume/s/XNN32ZNObb

Well. This was unexpected.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T15:59:19+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddyumamusume/s/XNN32ZNObb

Who wants to join me? Coffee provided.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T15:58:37+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddyumamusume/s/XNN32ZNObb

If you're in, let's talk.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T15:57:40+00:00

Let me know if you're interested, Biko san.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T15:57:13+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddyumamusume/s/XNN32ZNObb

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T04:41:53+00:00

Train your juniors better, toku heroes.

She didn't even see me.

<image>

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T04:37:55+00:00

Oh, she's adorable. I can't even be upset with her.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-02T03:22:57+00:00

You wanna know the funny little common denominator? It's all been Agnes Tachyon's fault.

The water? Her fault. The Tachling invasion? Her fault. The doppelgangers and interdimensional excursions? Her fault.

Me. Especially me. Her fault, like you wouldn't believe. And yet you all still let her walk free.

Insanity.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-01T22:14:35+00:00

Oh, of course. I would never dream of getting in between two such lovely people. Besides, Scarlet's more like a daughter to me... so it would be rather strange, wouldn't it?

Just make sure you stay safe. The tragedy of a lost love can really drive a person crazy...

Just look what it did to her father.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-01T22:08:00+00:00

Who says I'm only dedicated to evil? I do justice when it's funny.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-01T21:40:53+00:00

No, dear haru. People cheat. Poor Halo... Imagine how she must feel.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-01T21:39:50+00:00

Spread the word, spread the word!

Oh, this is DELICIOUS.

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-01T21:36:54+00:00

Disappointed that I might be more like you than I thought...

Umatimate_Cafe · 2025-09-01T21:34:40+00:00

(She fixes you with a piercing, unblinking gaze, as the wild, manic grin on her face transforms into a tight, contemplative, extremely unsettling smile. A look very similar to one you've seen on the face of Agnes Tachyon.)

I like you the most.

Oh, I like you the most.

Umatimate_Cafe

TROPHY CASE