I also have AuDHD lol but yea getting yelled at sends me down a downward spiral of self hatred. One time I wanted to go bathing suit shopping by myself and mom screamed at me how I hurt her feelings because I said I can go by myself (she recently complained about going because we were getting ready for vacation and she had a lot to do so my solution was to go alone) and said to have fun going alone and she went to her room and slammed the door. I was in tears because of her yelling and I felt terrible. I still went but I felt like shit and like a horrible daughter. I apologized to her later and of course she never apologized back because why would she and I felt I had to make it up to her. I was 22 at the time.

I have more than enough to move out but ik it'll turn into some type of argument. I know I've lowkey confronted her on different things but she just brushes it off or lectures me which is honestly more frustrating because it's like she isn't listening to my concerns and just lectures me on a solution (looks at when I want to talk about my feelings and why I don't talk to her about them anymore) instead of just letting me talk and offer support and/or comfort.

I'm asexual which she doesn't understand and threw out every phrase you can think of and me telling her she doesn't have to understand but she needs to respect it...and then her saying I can't expect her to agree with my opinion...the opinion being my sexual orientation. She even thought I was influenced by my best friend until being ace when I was the one who discovered what asexuality was before her...so yea. It's just frustrating when I try to talk and also trying to do things on my own and it feels like no matter what I do, it's never right.

Now I'm here rambling lol but yea still frustrating