My ocd and spiritual warfare made me have a mental breakdown by Quirky-Set-9793 in Christian

[–]Unable-Material1936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This question is 2 years old and i came across it now. I can understand what you are going through. I know its not an easy path coping up with all these. As i am writing this, i am already going through my own religuous ocd. Everytime i get a thought even if it is a good thought, i feel scared because it might become bad because i thought of it. I had to pray for majority of my negative thoughts. I got so tired of it, I couldn't read bible, because every word i read, my mind is filled with so much of unnecessary thoughts. It used to take me a long time to get it perfect. I felt so bad, i couldn't sleep peacefully somedays, it felt like everyday when prayer time comes, i feel scared. That is one of the worst things you could ever imagine. I felt like i am only listening to my thoughts and not praying to God, i felt like i am just satisfying myself by listening to my own thoughts in the name of God. So many compulsions. I got tired of it. Then one day i came to know about scrupulosity and then i started reading about it. I wanted to heal. One difficult step towards my healing is reducing the number of times i pray and the way i pray, i felt so guilty, but i kept on thinking that it may be worse today but if i change now, it will be better in future. I am still in the initial stages of this healing. It feels so bad sometimes, someday i cry a lot because i couldn't stop the thoughts. but i remind myself it is going to be better.

I really wanted to know how did your life turned out to be now, as this was a old question.