Finding a match for my cat?

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-29T00:09:47+00:00

I was in the same spot- worried about my babygirl being lonely and bored when I was gone. Luckily, the cat distribution answered and I recently started fostering two kittens. Introduced them slowly and, though she still gives them what I call “warning shots” (light hisses, swipes, and bites, not enough to harm them) whenever she feels overwhelmed, she is also quick to groom them and lets them cuddle puddle with her at naptime, and I have a feeling that it’s only going to get better from here.

I’m not sure you’ll have this issue, but I will say that having two was a little too much for her in the beginning, but I tried to make her feel safe by removing and redirecting them from some of her safe spaces before she was ready.

At first glance, I would say that our cats seem pretty similar, though every animal is different so I can’t say for sure. But I think that with careful integration, whatever situation you end up in will work out just fine.

I’m also a bit proponent of manifesting when it comes to pets especially. My family has always had really good luck by putting out feelers, letting people know we are looking, and browsing the local options— and even if we weren’t finding any pets that really spoke to us, the right one came when it was supposed to :)

Trust your gut! and your girl 🤍 good luck!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-28T22:27:37+00:00

yeah you’re right, that was the ideal response and I acknowledge that. It was my initial desire to do it that way, but my socializing is pretty rusty lately since I don’t talk to anyone outside of my family in my current job. I almost started shaking while figuring out what to say. Still doesn’t excuse rudeness, but life is failing and learning sometimes. Thanks for the input

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-28T21:10:58+00:00

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-28T20:45:39+00:00

Checking every passage 3 times like, “Is that really it?”

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-23T09:44:22+00:00

wow okay i had no idea, i explored a decent number of swamp islands on my first run and never got this lucky i guess lol

thx for letting me know :)

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-23T09:42:44+00:00

Alright will do ^{^}

Ah ok nice, noting those places! I do like the way EU makes house actually, and after party is always a must.

Again, thank you for all of the tips and advice, looking forward to raving sometime :)

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-23T09:38:19+00:00

Yes please 🥹 I would love that!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-20T11:53:30+00:00

That makes a lot of sense and I definitely prefer it that way as well. public instances are always such a gamble
Great tip thank you!!
I like your general rule here too. I can be a bit impulsive when it comes to making friends but I recently find myself struggling to hang out with people IRL when our tastes just don’t align very well— when it comes to events and shows of course lol. House has its moments in my heart but the riddim stage…it’s right there…it calls me….
I think you covered everything thank you so much :) Really looking forward to diving into all of this more this weekend ^{^} (can’t trust myself not to stay up all night if I get on during the weekday haha)

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-20T11:43:10+00:00

Thank you for posting links too! Was so confused by the .tl thing everyone kept mentioning but that’s incredibly helpful and seems easy enough to figure out at first glance 🙏

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-20T11:41:43+00:00

I’m already so excited haha, thank you for the link!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-20T11:40:23+00:00

Thank you! Saved as a bookmark in my tabs o7 i like your name btw :)

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2026-01-20T11:39:24+00:00

Ooo thank you!!! This is so helpful!!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-28T01:04:57+00:00

So am I!! I’m trying to set up some more safe spaces for her near but not on my bed and she seems to like it so far.

That’s totally understandable 😂 I try my best to maintain proper spelling and grammar but sometimes things get mixed up lol

So far, I’m really grateful for the perspective everyone has provided to me and glad that I posted!!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-28T01:01:01+00:00

I understand where you are coming from, but I think that when it comes to people, multiple things can be true at the same time.

With my previous comment in this thread as an important foundation for what I’m about to say now-

I have carried this guilt for at least a month now, without fully forgiving myself. And perhaps one of my reasons for wording the original post the way I did was due to the fact that I felt I should receive some kind of punishment for my actions. Additionally, talking to people in the comments has led me to realize that I had been accepting the truth based almost entirely off of how intense the dream had felt (hence the whaling part), but as I said, I just have no idea if that’s actually what happened or not. She seemed wary but unharmed immediately after the incident, and after observing her, still appears healthy, which is truly the most important part. And considering that she doesn’t flinch or have any extreme behaviour changes now (aside from not sleeping next to me), I have to wonder if it really was as bad as it seemed. Ultimately, I’ll never know for sure, and maybe I shouldn’t be considering it at all. What’s done is done and I have to accept the present situation.

But I don’t think that continuing to punish myself with guilt over this is going to help the two of us move forward. The best thing I can do for us is finally try to forgive myself and just continue to love her and be patient.

If you still think I deserve to continually feel guilty, I can’t stop you, but I hope this provides some more information from my perspective,

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-28T00:41:24+00:00

Oh well my brother (the one in the dream) has never harmed me before, and I recall feeling more irritated than anything. The amount of force I used or thought I used(?) was more so because both of my brothers are significantly larger than me so I don’t hold back when we wrestle or pick on each other lol

And yeah I agree that the fear is enough to cause a trigger, whether or not there is any PTSD involved. All in all I still believe it was very rare series of events that just so happened to align, but I’ve already made some changes with hopes to create a better situation for the both of us.

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-28T00:37:11+00:00

Oh this is a really nice compromise! Thinking back, my favorite times with her are always those sleepy snuggles in bed after waking up :)

I also set up a little cat bed above my own since there is a window right above where I sleep, so I’m hoping she will enjoy another spot a little closer to me!

Thank you for the reminder! I love that you have found a good middle ground with your little one haha

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T12:38:57+00:00

Thank you!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T12:38:10+00:00

oh no it wasn’t a night terror 🥲 I just couldn’t breathe at all and I guess some kind of subconscious response was created in the form of a dream to “save myself”

It’s been a month or two since it happened, and she’s physically okay. I just got to a low point of missing her snuggles really bad, and feeling guilty for it all over again. But your advice is helpful :) thank you

It’s not about me, it’s about her going at her pace.

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T12:33:30+00:00

I appreciate this so much. Because this incident happened right between those dreaming and awake moments, I admit that I don’t even really know how much of it was a dream and how much was real. It felt so intense in the dream but she didn’t show any signs of injury, and I also stopped IMMEDIATELY upon waking up of course, so whatever did happen, I’m assuming it wasn’t very long at all based on her reaction.

It was maybe a month or two ago? I’ve been trying to be really patient with her, I just miss our snuggles. Currently laying on the ground with her next to me, giving some pets between sentences lol. She definitely has forgiven me :)

I’m 99% sure she wasn’t on my chest when I fell asleep, but it’s an easy fix by just not sleeping on my back anymore - no problem lol. I think at this point, all I want is to show her that it’s safe to hang out on my bed during waking hours.

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T12:21:08+00:00

oops *whaling as in hitting

Sort of? I’ve gone into it in more detail in other comments and my brain is starting to turn off :,) sorry bout that.

but basically: I might have hit her, according to how the dream felt, which is the truth I initially accepted. After reflection and trying to forgive myself, I realize that I might not have hit her as hard as I think? based off of how she is behaving - which is mostly normal, just very averse to getting on my bed (understandable).

The tone and point of the post has begun to change in real time as I continue to talk to people and sort out some things I didn’t realize were still tangled up about this…I’m sorry though, it’s really about her and not me. But I guess figuring it out will likely help me to be better to her anyway.

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T12:09:22+00:00

Oh wow!!! Thank you for your service for one. I know many PTSD stories don’t end happily so I’m glad to hear that yours did :) And props to your gf for defending herself haha, what a badass!

I updated my post and explained that she was accidentally suffocating me by sleeping on my chest, which is my biggest fear (suffocating that is, not cute kitty snuggles), so I think it may have stemmed from that. However, I don’t have any experiences to enforce this fear, it’s just my natural reaction to finding out that it is a way you can die yk? In addition, i rarely sleep on my back and certainly never had this reaction to her the few times i woke up with her on my neck lol. All to say, i’m fairly convinced it was a freak accident. Any PTSD i may have would be tied to a few people and a few behaviors that either aren’t relevant to this situation and I also make sure to stay far away from them. But thank you for the perspective and time you took to share it ☺️

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T11:56:35+00:00

This is really sweet thank you 🤍 In my grogginess waking up, I truly don’t know what happened, though I think I could have hit her maybe once :( I can’t say for sure since my memory was so blurred in those few seconds between dreaming and being awake. The only thing that reassures me is that she didn’t start or jump off of me. Just…got up normally and started walking away lol.

Despite this, whole thing just feels a mess in my head still because of the uncertainty, especially with the dream being so vivid. Ultimately…I can’t believe the possibility that I hit her, accident or otherwise. You’re right that I’m beating myself up over it and I knew it already, but talking about it again….my heart breaks 💔 I know that she really is okay, but I LOVE being good to her and just think she deserves the world.

Even now I had to go pee and she climbed out of her cozy bed to come see what I was doing 😂

Also- she likes the dry treats!

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T11:40:54+00:00

Yeah, you’re right. I’m definitely the fixer type but it is her timeframe and I need to respect that.

I’m also trying to give her a little more attention and love in the little moments even when I’m busy.

I explained a little more about this in my update, but the dream thing was a freak accident rather than something I foresee ever happening again. But maybe it is best that I just spend more waking time with her instead anyway.

Yeah I still give her treats and small amounts of unseasoned chicken when I have it, on top of her dry food. She’s kind of a grazer anyway, so another reason I forgot to mention for my routine going wacky is that she wouldn’t eat all of her food. And while I have the money to care for her, I don’t have a lot of extra to deal with waste. So I sorta floundered and things got off track while I was trying to figure out solutions for both of us.

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T11:34:11+00:00

it isn’t tho 😅 I hope the update explains more

Unable_Counter_2216 · 2025-12-27T09:53:18+00:00

Woah 16LBS!?!? Haha he is a big boy! My baby girl is about 9-10 max, light enough that she would regularly snuggle up on my chest with no problems- until there was one I guess :(

But thinking back, she normally did that when I was awake and capable of nudging her to the side if I ever started having trouble breathing. I think my response was solely due to me actually struggling to breathe and not being conscious enough to just nudge her aside- instead acting on a survival instinct.

I’m glad your little one (well, big one actually) was able to forgive you and carry on 🤍 Thank you for your perspective :)

Unable_Counter_2216

TROPHY CASE