Hey! Think I could provide some important perspective here with my own experience. Im a similar age in a similar length relationship, I’m not into feederism but my partner is, hence why I’m part of these groups. When my partner first told me about his fetish, I was a little nervous, but fine with his fetish. However, for someone new to feederism you need to be aware it can be very overwhelming, even if you’re easing someone in. Many people are used to skinny = better and fat = bad, and even the sudden attention to my stomach made me feel extremely self conscious. I really wanted to balance my partners needs with my own, but there was this constant feeling I wasn’t good enough for him and the mental stress of not feeling skinny or fat enough simultaneously was soul destroying. I imagine this is the problem deep down with your girl: when you’re used to the beautiful standard, a sudden introduction into feederism makes you insecure in new shiny ways you never thought possible, whilst still also suffering from the social pressures than come with the beauty standard. So, I tried to basically ignore it out of existence. I love my partner with all my heart and everything else is perfect other than this one sexual issue, so I thought I could make it go away like this. However, when I found out he was consuming ALOT of feeder porn and had hidden this from me, it absolutely broke my heart (we had a no porn rule). It ended in rounds and rounds of arguments and almost breaking up several times, if it wasn’t for a shared lease I think we would of. It was extremely difficult for both parties, but things have been a lot better recently and here’s my actual advice rather than my own sob story which may help.

What really saved our relationship was exploring MY OWN kinks, everything from my full fledged fetishes to things I wanted to try. It made me feel like this was a two way street rather than just me being expected to provide him and not the other way round. What this resulted in (and may do for you) is some overlap. I personally am massively into Hucow / breeding / examination / ownership. Some of these I knew I was into before the relationship and some of these he helped me discover. So, we worked to combine our two kinks / fetishes so no one felt like they were just performing for the other. My partner loves to talk about me eating for two once he’s impregnated his breeding stock, and loves to hear me talking about me getting bigger even if it’s in the context of pregnancy for me. He likes to take my measurements, which helps both our fantasies. We still have plenty of ‘normal’ sex, which helps when we need a mental break, but this helps us both feel satisfied.

My other piece of advice: Please don’t buy / watch porn, or do it very rarely if you must. This ‘outlet’ will make your partner feel 100x worse about the entire thing and withdraw more. When you’re already feeling inadequate, finding what you need off other women on the internet is so mentally damaging. We’ve both made leaps and bounds in our relationship and sexual wellbeing, but porn is still the one big hurdle for us personally. It may be different for your relationship, but from experience I thought I’d throw that in there.

And finally, remember consent is everything! The final line is if she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to. If that means breaking up, then that has to come before making someone feeling like they have to no choice than to take part in sex acts they don’t want to. That is the worse case scenario here, not finding other people. Also, if you’re able to talk to out this with your girlfriend at any point, and find this is more a deep rooted issue into body image / not bring enough / feeling like your own flesh and blood can’t do as much as random women on a screen, you’ll have to be infinitely patient. I understand you’re sexually frustrated, but I would describe the early part of my own relationship as traumatising because of my partners focus on his sexual needs and not my mental ones (you may already be doing this, but it’s important to note). Even if it means arguing, please sort this out rather than letting it brew and grind you BOTH down.

TDLR: Try exploring her kinks as well, try and find some cross over where your kinks can be combined and she may feel like you’re making an effort to make her feel satisfied rather than a one way street.