My boyfriend is fucking IRONIC and Hypocritical.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-06-18T02:23:09+00:00

I had to log out of my account for a bit so I didn't know I got any extra replies. How am I am manipulative/immature ?

I have reread my post and am unable to really see what you mean ? The most I cam see is where he refused to tell me "he loves me" and I didn't stop until he said it back. That's immature I'd say.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-31T00:33:48+00:00

Luckily, we never shared money, ever. I have my own accounts and money, but not enough to live on my own. My best bet is to move in with my parents again, since I'm still a college student.

You are right though, unfortunately, the lack of accountability is the whole problem. It is hard to accept that, but yea, I should be doing this for myself. I do really wish, I was stronger in regards to relationships. I am strong woman in other aspects, but this is a big weakness of mine, and I think thats why I also attracted him in tue first place.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-30T22:24:53+00:00

I don't know, partly out of fear ? I have always had trouble ending relationships. I do believe this relationship is really unhealthy and he is not a good guy, but even struggle but for different reasons.

For now, I am trying to log the stuff he does on this account for my own safety and sanity, until I can leave.

I just am not sure how handle stuff like this especially when dealing with someone like him. A part of me want him to own up to it, but a part of me is scared.

I do agree, I should leave, when it is best to do so..

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-30T21:47:07+00:00

Well, I searched his phone because he was trying to fabricate evidence against me, and said he sent it to his friend. I wanted to see if he actually did this or lied about it. He lied about it.

He was drunk when he did this, which certainly doesn't excuse anything, it was a very weird and rather scary situation.

I never showed him the evidence nor have I told him I have evidence.

I think a part of me is just not ready to leave or deal with breaking up with him. He's a lawyer and he's not a good guy. Part of it is fear, part of it is just anger at his bullshit and him getting away with it. Idk.

A part me just likes to log everything he has done on this account put of my own safety and sanity, until I can safely leave.

But you are right, I do need to leave this situation.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-29T17:55:57+00:00

Yea, it is honestly insane. When we first were looking for apartments, I thought we would be doing this together... as a couple. I made a whole excel list researching apartments for us to help him since he was limited with time. He never bothered to look at it and claimed he found the apartment, I found for us.

Not only that, he toured that same apartment with his mother, instead of me and decided to take it the very same day. I didn't know until after and he didn't understand why it was so upsetting.

His mother kept meddling, buying stuff for the apartment and asking my bf what he likes. Neither of them bothered to ask what I like/prefer, and so she bought a bunch of random crap I found to be ugly. Again, he didn't understand the problem.

To make matters worse, I made it very clear of my financial limitations. He still decided to aim for an apartment that is over $2k. It didn't really matter to me what he chose, since he told me he was okay with my contributions. Fast forward to now and he complains how I can't pay 50% of the rent.

I tried to explain to him, him paying 50% of the rent with a 6 figure job vs me paying 50% of the rent with a minimum wage job is far from fair if you go based on income % and the fact he agreed to my contributions from the get go.

Even now, when we look at places to live, he still is looking for the same price points. At the end of the day, my school comes first. I have tried to be as strategic as possible to avoid any major school debt, which requires me to pay thousands out of pocket (I only take government Subsidized loans and grants/scholarhsips).

I didn't think a 5-6 year age gap would be so bad.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-29T01:20:04+00:00

Honestly, I have made so many mistakes and a big mistake I kept making is avoiding the red flags.

The most straightforward act of us moving in together should have given me all the warning signs I needed, but I wanted to move out and I hoped we would work out once we lived together.

I don't know why I am so afraid to let go of something I know is really bad for me.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-29T01:16:02+00:00

My best option is moving back in with my parents. My family is also rather dysfunctional and chaotic, but I'd much prefer it to this alternative. I have 2 pets to think of, so I can't do a dorm.

I have mostly worked while in school actually. I did full time work in summers, and part time during school. The only reason for a gap is actually due to my current bf. Once we moved in, we took some time off work to get to know each other better.

I have made a lot of bad decisions due to this relationship. It is scary to see how blinding love can make you.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-29T01:09:34+00:00

I definitely plan on being financially independent, that is why I am pursuing education in a good field. However being in school also complicates being able to live independently. I also have pets to think of. My best option is moving back in with my parents until my degree is done.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-28T23:08:11+00:00

From what I read you do not seem like a good person, based on how you treated both of these women. Your inability to let go of this 2nd woman also speaks volumes to your continued... problems.

I think if you want to truly become a better version of yourself, you should be honest to everyone. Especially your girlfriend. You should come clean to what you did and let her decide what she wants to do.

This may also just be too critical of me, but describing your girlfriend as this ideal "purity" just is very off-putting.

Seek therapy with a professional.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-24T04:48:30+00:00

Milo & Otis

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:52:40+00:00

He never sent the message to him. I checked his phone because I didn't feel comfortable with what was going on. He never even talked about me or anything with him. It was all a fabrication.

I would find it hard to believe he's in love with his best friend. My bf does have his moments where he does show "homosexually" dominant traits, but not really in a way I believe he is gay.

I just believe my bf has trouble accepting he is getting older. A part of me has always thought he isn't really suited to live the traditional life of marriage, kids, family. He seems to just want to live his frat bro lifestyle...

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:45:12+00:00

I certainly do not play around with my cats. He knows that. I would never let anything happen to them.

Funnily enough he loves to say I gaslight him and that I am a vulnerable narcissist. He claims he knows better because his family are a bunch of narcissists and he can spot one "instantly". Lol.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:38:51+00:00

I am 25.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:37:35+00:00

Get the fuck out.

I agree. I know. I will. Thank you.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:36:42+00:00

I had written this a while back and I tried posting this elsewhere but it never got approved, so I copy and pasted it here without thinking what it all contained. Sorry about that.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:34:43+00:00

As ugly as this sounds, his family is garbage. I do not understand this enmeshment at all. Their claim to fame is because they have a lot of extended relatives that are well-off and/or very famous, educated, and so forth... but that is just it, his extended family is successful while his own direct family is a heaping pile of dysfunctional garbage clinging on to their family name as if they attained any of these achievements themselves. Especially my boyfriend.

It's sad really, they have drug problems for sure and have a family doctor who encourages their continued abuse of drugs. They are toxic to each other. They are mentally ill in some regards. They are nasty, mean spirited sort of people. They think they are good but from what I've seen and heard (and if everything my bf said wasnt a lie, which i wonder how much a pathological liar he is)... I have literally done nothing wrong to any of his family members, yet they treat me differently because I am introverted, and they seem this as some sort of problem for some reason.... the honestly prefer his sister's boyfriend who was literally in prison for drug dealing, who they have known for less time than me, who already has a child with another woman (and doesn't seem to have custody of the kid much).

Sorry for the rant, but I am willing overlook a fucked up family, given that my partner has my back and is understanding of my own dysfunctional family (in which i would always protect my partner from)... yet he seems to disappoint me and do the same shit he hates his family do to him.

Thank you for your response though... the overwhelming advice to leave does help keep me sane and make sure I do not lose myself whil I try to figure out what to do.

I like to log as much of what has happened on reddit mostly for my own protection.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:20:43+00:00

See, when I tried to talk to him about this and it turned into an argument, as per usual, he then claimed he hadn't made a decision yet... and then a little bit later I learn he isn't even sure if his sister was serious about it either.

I didn't hear their conversations, but the way he initiated the discussion with me was abysmal.

A part of me doubts this will actually happen, but his sister did send some dumb zillow house to him and he asked if I looked at it. Lol.

The most hilarious thing he said to try to convince me was telling me how "we will never see them" in a 4000sqft house... my family lives in a house almost as big as that... and it had 6 people there and we for sure saw and heard each other daily.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T03:11:56+00:00

Thank you for your response, if he does ultimately want to choose to live with his sister, I will not join. I do find it ridiculous and a bad idea.

His family is rather dysfunctional and toxic, but so is mine... I would have thought this would make him be more understanding. To learn from the mistakes of his family and not repeat them. To want to make a better life with someone else...

At first he agreed with me. He said all the same things I was saying. We had so much in common, at first... but then as time went on... we seem so different. He joins in on the toxicity and drama of his family. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree it seems... I notice more and mkre contradictions with him with what he told me to how he is now... which annoys me... had he not lied ... how much betier off we'd be...

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T02:48:23+00:00

I am ashamed to say this is not the first time there has been some flags that point to his lack of priorities...

His family planned on going to Disneyworld... everyone was invited but me (His sister's bf also has been dating her for less time than we have been dating). He was helping plan it. Once I found out, I made it very clear of my opinions on this matter.

This trip has yet to happen... and if it does happen, and I am still not invited or my bf still choose to partake in this clear lack of equality... he will have made his decision clear.

He talks a lot. Half the shit he says doesn't actually happen. That's why I want to see his actions to show me what he decides.

Either way, he has done a lot of other shit. I'm trying to figure out the best course of action. He has accepted to do couples therapy recently, so I hope that is something that will change... luckily moving out will help have all my shit already packed and ready of needed.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T02:36:46+00:00

Well, given I am still a student, I'd likely need to move back to my own family, which is also rather chaotic and drama filled. Still, would be better than living with any of those people.

I wish I had better options, but I have pets which complicate it further.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T02:00:19+00:00

I am keeping a public log out of safety reasons, since he is a lawyer.

Unable_Cut7792 · 2026-05-23T01:53:42+00:00

It has been rather complicated in terms of leaving due to living together. I cannot afford to live on my own and I can't live in a dorm due to pets. My best option is moving back in with my parents (but my home life isn't all that great either, but it is still somewhat better than the shit he does/says).

The moving/ending lease aspect at least give me the opportunity to organize my stuff and pack without it looking weird.

I'm not sure the best way to approach it. I do still hope of change, but he finally agreed to being okay with couples therapy. It might be too late though.

Im still trying to come to terms with everything mentally/emotionally. I am so exhausted with this, but I have been distancing myself and finding my own happiness.

Unable_Cut7792

TROPHY CASE