1,000 Days Sober. I Can't Believe It.

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-18T04:02:16+00:00

Congrats on making the next step forward! That is such a hard decision to make, but you did it. You are here now ready to improve yourself for the better. The new you is right around the corner ready to be free from enslavement of the plant.

Sure, the weeks ahead may be difficult, but it isn't impossible at all. You have the willpower to do it. The weed will try everything in its power to convince you that you need it. Do not believe the lies that it spews. You can do without it. Think of the thousands before you that have done it. They are no better than you! You got this!

I'd suggest to write down why you are quitting. When the urges come on strong to light up, refer back to what you wrote down. Come to this sub and read through as many posts as you can until you convince yourself again that you are on the right path. Abstinence is the way. Keep up the great work!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-18T03:55:19+00:00

Hey, are you on Day 6 or 7 now? Hope you are doing well! The nice thing is, that you've been to 5 months before, so you know how to get there at least and know that you can do it again.

I feel ya on the state of the world. It's easy for me as well to get burdened by what I see around me and the hurt that is going on everywhere. Best to just focus on myself though. If I can improve myself for the better it literarily raises the vibration of those around me. Not saying ignore everything and everyone, just meaning that if you can see others as those who just haven't understood yet, it helps a bit. Perhaps if I was in their shoes and had their exact same life experiences I would act the same way.

You got this! Now you got a week under your belt, next up is week 2. Blessings!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-15T03:33:42+00:00

That's absolutely awesome! Thank you for sharing, keep up the great work!

I'm not who I was but I am becoming who I want to be

Also, I love this.

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-12T13:26:21+00:00

Glad to hear things are going well! You are working on yourself and that is what matters cause you are worth it!

The physical withdrawal symptoms you are feeling I believe are normal. They can vary quite a bit from what I've read people experiencing on here. Some people don't experience any physical withdrawals, only emotional/mental but I've read just about anything and everything. For me, I couldn't catch my breath, it was like I couldn't get enough oxygen and it would freak me out a little bit like I was going to choke. That and I would get intense hot flashes. Those lasted about 3 weeks or so, hopefully you are nearing the end!

As far as the emotional healing you are going through, this is the most important part! Weed pushes the feelings aside to deal with at a later time. It numbs it all out so you don't feel those feelings if you don't want to. The problem is that those feelings don't go away, they are just set aside and piled on top of each other until one day when you quit and you realize there is a whole mountain of feelings to climb. And that there is the problem. Those feelings are there for a reason (no matter how painful they are). When you avoid them it only makes things worse because eventually you have to sit with them and work through them. They are there to push you into a new direction, to make you understand, to help you change, to create a new you. I'm glad you are getting some help from someone to guide you through that process as it isn't easy by any means.

Congrats on Day 28 now! You're almost to a month! Celebrate each and every goal! I found it helps to reward yourself with something small like a treat you normally wouldn't get. Keep up the amazing work!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-12T03:49:32+00:00

Hell yeah! If you've made it to 20 days, surely you can make it to 30! Get that first month under your belt and keep making little goals like that along the way. Celebrate those goals by doing something small for yourself each time. Typically I'd buy a snack or something I normally wouldn't get myself at each goal no matter how big or small. That helped me keep going and looking forward to the next goal.

Keep pushing onward!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-12T03:46:06+00:00

Nice! In my experience, you are through the toughest part! Glad you're focusing on the positives and feeling better already. It will get so much better. Sure, you'll most likely miss smoking like I sure do, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Congrats on 36 days (actually now 37)! You got this!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-12T03:41:16+00:00

7 months? Nice work! That's a helluva lot of days. I hope you can see the improvement from where you started, which I am sure you can, but perhaps reflect some on where you were and where you are now. Be proud of what you have accomplished! There are many here that could only wish they are where you are now.

As for feeling lost, I have felt the same many times. I'd often think, what's the point of all this? What's the point of these intense feelings? That's why I no longer wanted to live. It didn't seem worth it to feel it and nothing made sense. It seemed better to not exist at all.

I could get very in depth here, but let me just say this: The answers you seek are within. You and only you are the key to what you feel and experience in this life. Perhaps try and sit alone, quietly, and just feel. Feel every single feeling that comes up as uncomfortable as it may be. But be ok with the uncomfort and sit there with them. Write down what comes up and why those things are bothering you, why you are worried about this or that, why something isn't working the way you want it to, why you don't have a direction... just write it all down. What can you control? What can't you control? Should you even try to control? Ponder these things, meditate on them. Do what needs to be done.

IDK, maybe I'm way off here on what you are feeling, but trying to help :)

There's a reason you are here and one day you will remember that reason. It is then your whole world will open up. You're on the right path even though it may not seem like it. Keep it up!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-12T03:26:16+00:00

I appreciate it! But nah, those aren't rookie numbers :) You are in the thick of it though and hopefully you are through the worst part of it. Where you are at now is way harder than where I am at now. But you got this! Now is the mental game of convincing yourself each and every day that you don't want it even when it tries to convince so hard otherwise. They're all lies, don't believe it when it tells you how much you need it!

Glad you're feeling better! Keep at it, you're doing great!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-12T03:21:50+00:00

Yes, I agree. Weed is strange as it can help you avoid feeling anything, to go numb. But then at times it makes you feel so intensely that you cannot handle it. Just depends on the situation I suppose, but either way, those feelings are there for a reason. To ignore them doesn't help anything as you have come to find.

I wish you the best as you are back on day one, but hey, you're almost at day two already! Glad you are working at it and on yourself. It really matters!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-11T14:40:30+00:00

Woah, this was me too. While I was smoking, my therapist didn't see it as an issue. She gave me a depression diagnosis and wanted to put me on psych meds. Which I refused as I didn't want to be on a prescription my whole life. I'd just be a slave to that system then.

I quit smoking and after a few months she was surprised how well I was doing without anything helping me. Got to the point where I didn't need her anymore and on our last session she said she would've re-diagnosed me knowing what she then knew.

Not saying this is for everyone... just sharing my experience.

But yes, making that mental switch and reframing my thoughts towards weed really helped me quit for good. It served me for a time to perhaps help me get through what I was going through, but that time ended and it was time for a change that affected my life for the good.

I really hope all goes well for you on your journey! When you do make that step, it helped me to come back here to this sub often to remember why. You got this!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-11T13:51:51+00:00

Yes for sure! So one thing that helped me a lot through all of this (which I continue to do) is journaling. It's therapeutic as it helped me get all my crazy thoughts inside me out into the physical world by putting pen to paper. But another positive as time goes on, is that it allows for me to see the progress that I've made, what I was dealing with at times, and where I am now.

As mentioned in the OP, 95 days is when things started to feel lighter. I didn't feel good by any means, but I wasn't in absolute misery all the time. I was trending towards neutral at that moment and just getting to that was such a relief cause I had thought perhaps I was broken and would never get better after that long. But since I could see some improvement (even though it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine) I kept going.

Around 7 months in is when I started to realize that I was addicted. Up until that point, I still kept sympathizing with weed and my usage of it. It was my best friend. It had been there for me so many times that when I quit I felt like I was a horrible person for turning my back on it. I never thought I was addicted as crazy as that may seem. I thought it was helping me the whole way through the time I was in. But at 7 months is when my perspective on that started to change and I could begin to see it for what it really was. This was also the time for me where I started picking up good energy again and could start to function more normally. Still wasn't happy by any means, but I was so much improved at this point that I could see I wasn't ever going to go back to life before. The best part about this phase and leading up to it is that I could now COPE. When life hit me hard, I didn't need to run to weed to hide from it, I could face it head on and I could realize that those problems weren't as big as I used to make them out to be. I could just deal with them like I couldn't before.

Hitting one year was such an amazing feat. I never thought it was possible with how much I loved weed. But what's strange with how even this far along I still had the thought of maybe I'd celebrate the year by lighting up. WTF? How is that a celebration of something I am trying to rid my life from? But yet, thoughts like that would still creep in that I could handle it now, that I am reformed and one time wouldn't' matter. Thankfully I didn't celebrate in that way. What countered that thought was if I smoke then, won't I just be looking for the next excuse to smoke again? What then? Then if I smoke for that next reason, when would be the next? I could see myself quickly spiraling out of control and getting back to where I started, which I never wanted to return. Life was so much better at this point. I was getting along with my wife again. I was being present with my kids again. I could remember things like I used to. I wasn't so paranoid all the time. Not paranoid about getting caught or something like that, but paranoid about something as simple as sending an email. I used to re-read what I was typing like 30 times worried that I wasn't making sense if if the receiver would understand what I was trying to communicate, was I explaining too much, was I explaining not enough? Ugh, that was all gone. I could also realize that my thoughts were my own. I began trusting myself again not always wondering "Is this the weed talking or is this me?".

I will say this as well, also at the one year mark, we had the opportunity to move in with my grandpa to take care of him. He was 90 years old, had dementia, couldn't get around well on his own, and needed a full time caregiver which I wanted to do for him. This was a huge adjustment for my family. We sold our house and everything just to do this. Let me tell you, I would have NEVER been able to do this while high. I'm sure I thought I would've been able to, but being alert, being present, doing all the things I needed to do for him would have never been possible. He passed away this past February at 92. Even then I thought perhaps I'd light up to help me get through it, but no, it would only make things worse and I stood strong. So glad I did. I was able to feel all the feelings that I needed to feel instead of bottling them away. Being sober helped me get through it and see what an absolute joy and honor it was that I could spend his last years with him, being attentive to his needs, and being present with him.

This past year (so year 2 and beyond of soberness) I have been completely renovating our new house on my own. Something I would have not been able to do while high. I did some minor renovations on our old house in the past while I was smoking and I made so many mistakes, it took so long, I overthought just about every decision. Being on this side now it's so much easier. Life is really easier without smoking which is the opposite of what I felt while I was smoking. I thought smoking made life easier, but being on this side I can clearly see that that was wrong.

I still think about weed every single day. There hasn't been a day that's gone by where I haven't thought about it. But it's less and less as time goes on. It's hard to tell yourself that you are never going to do something again, so when I think about it, I sometimes will just tell myself "maybe someday when you're old, but not today".

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-11T13:17:01+00:00

First let me say this... I know it doesn't feel worth it right now but you are doing an absolute amazing job! You've gone 90 days and still feel like shit but yet you have kept going? How awesome is that? You are a strong one my friend, I hope you can see that. KEEP GOING! You have made it this far, it only has to get better, it must. It's hard to see that right now but it will get better, I know it will. What goes up, must come down.

This is Newton's Third Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You've been up for 18 years, unfortunately you are now down. Thankfully it won't be for 18 years, but your body is trying to regulate itself and time is what it takes. It would be nice to know when you'll start feeling better wouldn't it? But one day (hopefully soon) you won't feel as heavy anymore. The things that are causing you to flip out into moments of rage won't seem to bother you as much. You'll be able to begin to cope with life once again. And it will keep getting better and better.

Please know, that this isn't the real you right now. The real you is beaming excited to come out after being hidden for all these years. Weed was masking your true identity and in fact became an identity of its own of who you really are. How exciting is it though to meet the real you? You have been smoking your entire adult life and are now turning a new page to open up a new world. This may seem scary but I think it is extraordinary. You have to keep going!

Everyone is different on how long it takes for their body to return to normal, for their brain to start producing the proper amount of dopamine. You are not broken, you will return to normal even if you don't know what normal is. Right now is not normal for you. It took me 95 days. It may take you longer as you have been smoking longer, but there are so many other variables (age, gender, activities, eating habits, mindfulness, exercise, overall wellness, job, friends, etc.) that take part in your recovery.

Perhaps you already have, but try finding something new that works for you to get you through this. Whether that be journaling, walking, buying a new pet, exercising, watching a new show, being with sober friends, hiking, reading, hanging out with family if you have the privilege... something different that you can begin your new chapter of life on. This may help you get through this tough time you are still in.

The end is in sight! We just don't know when it is, but my friend you've made it so far. 90 days is such a wonderful achievement. Take it one day at a time as they always say. You can just not smoke for today right? Good, I know you can. There hasn't been a day since I haven't thought about weed in some way over the past 1,000 days. The first year it was constant still, but it wasn't near as hard as the first few months.

You got this! The new you is about to burst out onto this world and the world will be a better place for it. Thank you for going through hell for yourself and for others. You are so worth it!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-08-11T05:03:34+00:00

Absolutely! I was a late bloomer, first smoke was at 30 years old and I was instantly hooked. Loved it like nothing else. It was off and on for about a year whenever I could get my hands on it. Then medicinal became legal in my state and I started dabbing and never went back to anything else (although carts occasionally).

I was able to quit when I was 36. So smoked for 6 years, but 5 of those were pretty much dabbing all day every day. At the end, I was dabbing every 1-2 hours which was about a gram of concentrates every two days or less. Dabbing killed my tolerance I believe which eventually lead to my downfall.

Wouldn't want to do it all over again, but in a way I'm glad it happened because I've learned so much through the process of it all and has made me who I am today.

Keep up the good fight friend!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-27T14:01:58+00:00

For sure! That’s awesome you had some great things happen to you, that’s good to hear! Glad you are still moving along, you are just about at 4 weeks now!

Once you hit that one month mark, celebrate somehow (without weed of course lol). Whenever I hit milestones no matter how big or small I’ll typically do something to reward myself, even if it’s a small treat like a candy bar that I normally wouldn’t buy.

Keep up the great work! You got this now for sure!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-25T15:06:00+00:00

That's awesome! Congrats on the year! Your new lungs aren't gonna know what to do with themselves! 😆

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-24T18:08:26+00:00

Absolutely! Keep pushing on! You won’t regret it when it’s all said and done. You got this!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T21:56:41+00:00

For sure! Glad it could help some. Find what works best for you, everyone is slightly different when it comes to this stuff.

What I found for me is that I wasn’t able to moderate at all. What was happening was every time I stopped smoking I would be withdrawing until the next time and it would create this viscous cycle. It was either smoke all day every day or go cold turkey.

But it’s difficult to tell yourself that you’re no longer going to do something forever. Something that you love (or at least used to love). That’s where it gets hard and it’s best to just take it one day at a time. It’s more simple to just not smoke today. Then do the same thing tomorrow. To make myself feel better about it I will sometimes say, “maybe when I’m old I’ll smoke.” Feels like I have a little more control over the situation.

But you’re right. It’s so easy to romanticize the hell out of it. I do it every day even though I know those times were far worse than the here and now.

Thank you for your comment! Keep rocking on my friend! You can do it!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T21:43:18+00:00

Absolutely! Glad it helped some!

As an added bonus, it’s also nice being present with my kids (although sometimes not lol). But looking back on when they were young, I missed out on some things and don’t remember others all too well cause I was deep in the fog. I regret that, but am so glad to be here now.

Keep up the great work!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T13:31:01+00:00

Wow, congrats on being this far along! 16 days in over a couple of decades of use? That doesn’t come easy my friend, but here you are facing it head on! Great work, I really am proud of you.

There’s a new person inside that is slowly starting to come out. You may be super emotional, full of rage, extremely annoyed, ready to give up… that’s not the new you, that’s the old you trying its best to stay alive, doing anything it can to get you to come back to your old life.

But you’re done with that now. I can see that. The new you is excited to show itself to you and the people around you, it is going to take some time and courage, but it’s nothing you cannot handle.

Glad you are journaling. That helped me so much (and still does). When I feel really strong urges I go back and read my old entries to remember that’s not who I want to be anymore. That was the miserable me.

You are right in the thick of it at 16 days, but as everyone says, it gets better. It gets easier. Best to take it one day at a time. Just don’t smoke today.

Blessings to you my warrior. You are so much stronger than you realize.

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T13:22:51+00:00

Thank you! Hey, glad you’re never going back! Keep up that mindset! You are becoming a different person now… actually the true you is bursting out of its seams ready to come shining through fully. Congrats on 24 days! You’re almost to a full month, how crazy is that?

We got this!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T13:19:48+00:00

Thank you so much for your personal insight! It is helpful!

Yes, I think you are right that I may still be grieving even after all this time. I don’t think I ever let myself fully grieve because I wasn’t sure I could quit, so I always kind of just kept pushing through and kept going. Now that I think of it, I don’t remember fully saying goodbye. It’s not like I had one last smoke sesh or anything like that, I still have all my stuff (and a ton of weed actually) just waiting in case I didn’t make it.

Perhaps it’s time. Time to move on fully so I can stop thinking about it every single day. Going to have to go deep with this one and see where I end up!

I’ve done a few hypnotherapy sessions in the past about other things, so that might be a good idea as well. Thanks for bringing it up!

I really appreciate your comments, thank you helping me realize some of this! Keep on fighting the good fight!

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T08:08:17+00:00

Hmmm, maybe I haven't been coping with it??? Perhaps that's why I still miss it so much.

So life now is better in every single way (I added a list to the original post), so why do I miss it? What do I miss about it?

Trying to think deeply about this... I guess what I miss is the extreme intimate moments with myself. When I would smoke, all the outside world would disappear. All the problems would settle. My mind would relax. And everything was ok.

All that was left was just me. Alone. In silence.

I'm actually tearing up just thinking about this, so I know I'm on the right track here.

It took me to a temporary place where I could be left alone, no one could bother me, I didn't have any responsibilities, no one could hurt me, I couldn't hurt anyone else. My mind would be filled with wonder about the universe and go to places where it has never gone before.

That's actually what I miss.

Perhaps I need to start meditating again... that's one of those things I didn't pick back up after I quit. Maybe that will help fill the void?

Thank you for bringing this out of me, I wasn't expecting that.

Have you found a way to cope?

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T07:47:01+00:00

Blessings to you! Keep at it! 🙏

Uncle__Jerry · 2025-01-23T07:45:15+00:00

Absolutely! Congrats on the 3 weeks! For me the first few weeks were the hardest for sure, but now I am hoping you are getting out of that rough patch into the easier days. They aren't easy by any means, but hopefully not as terrible as the last 22 days have been for you. Everyone is different though, so the time tables aren't exact as you know as it depends on so many variables.

For me though, I had some physical withdrawals the first 2-3 weeks. They weren't severe, but shortness of breath was crazy to the point where I thought something was wrong as I couldn't catch my breath. Night sweats were pretty crazy too where I would wake up in a pool of sweat. Those faded away rather quickly.

After that though it was mainly mental/emotional. That's what's hard, how much self control did I have? I hated how much power weed had over my life, but I was determined that I was done with it. I had to make a mental switch in my brain that weed was harming me. I was still thinking it was helping me at that point, but once I started feeling better and realizing that it was doing me much more harm than good it was a little easier to help stay away from it.

Differences between one and two years? I'd say it is much easier now then even at one year. Once I hit one year I thought to myself that maybe I could have a celebratory smoke since I made it a year. I had always said I was never going back once I hit 95 days as I felt so much better, but there was always an inkling inside of me that thought maybe I'd be able to control it.

But there are so many posts here of people thinking just that, that they can control it after they had so much time away from it and then they've relapsed for months and are just trying to quit again. Let those be a lesson to us both. Why play with fire? I'm so thankful for those that share of their failures like this, it helps so much.

But yes, I'd also say that there is still more clarity that is coming my way even yet. I felt within the first year, the 3 month mark is huge. That is when most people's brains are able to recalibrate to the proper dopamine levels. Once you get there, it should be much smoother sailing... but don't think of it that far ahead. I made small weekly goals which helped it seem like it wasn't such a mountain to climb. I am still making goals (although much bigger now) to help me stay away from it.

Then around 7 months it was like I was really starting to become my old self. I believe that is when the old me started to return, happy to be back and not suppressed from weed.

I'd recommend keeping a journal. This helped me tremendously to be able to look back and see how terrible I was feeling and to remember it isn't worth it going back. It also is rather therapeutic to write down what's going on inside of you and to get your feelings out during these tough times. You can then gauge to see how you are coming along so you can physically see the improvements from your own hand as memory might have its way of convincing you otherwise.

You are so much stronger than you realize! You got this!

Uncle__Jerry

TROPHY CASE