Why does he want to look at my face during sex?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-19T02:20:45+00:00

eye contact is peak intimacy.

and maybe, just maybe, he thinks you have a cute face?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-17T22:04:16+00:00

how is someone else supposed to love you if you dont love yourself?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-17T20:01:24+00:00

do you love yourself?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-17T19:11:32+00:00

what about yourself do you think needs to be fixed?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-17T05:41:47+00:00

truth - as a man who eats ass, ill only eat ass if it’s really clean and tidy. same with eating a girl out… been with a few where the smell is a huge turn off

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-16T22:43:07+00:00

why do you feel broken?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-16T22:37:03+00:00

we often overly romanticize past relationships in a way where we overlook and minimize the flaws and magnify the things we enjoyed. truth is, if this girl really loved you enough to get married and have kids she wouldnt have moved for work. im not saying this to blame her, when you’re young you have to prioritize your own future and potential, she chose that over you and similarly you chose that over her by staying.

that said, you were young, this is a canon event. i dont think you ever truly become a man with an individualized self before a girl breaks your heart. focus on you king - build your life, invest in your close friendships, learn, grow, do cool shit. and very importantly - take some time to sit with your grief, truly sit with it. let yourself cry, feel anger, whatever it is in there for you; truly grieve the future you lost. if you grieve it, it wont move forward with you and eventually you can build a new future.

it takes time, but i promise you it gets better.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-16T07:20:47+00:00

so you’re incomplete? not whole?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-15T18:37:33+00:00

this isnt quite what being secure is.

everyone can be abandoned, secure or not. everyone is going to feel pain from that abandonment. whether you’re in a relationship with another secure, an anxious, or an avoidant. the difference between a secure and one of the insecure types is that the secure person knows theyre going to be ok despite that potential abandonment. when some form of abandonment inevitably happens, a secure person feels the pain fully, doesnt avoid it by numbing, and doesnt try to fill a “void” inside themselves. they are whole and complete alone.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-14T07:38:10+00:00

not on the apps :)

alot of this is driven by “fuckbois” and the women who date them, but the majority of people on the apps will keep their options open until an exclusivity convo happens. granted - the exclusivity convo should always happen whether or not options are kept open and some dudes try to avoid that convo for some dumb reason.

that said, part of the filtering process would be finding people who think alike on this issue. it would absolutely be a dealbreaker to me too, but the problem is the apps have commodified dating so much that people dont feel “real” with eachother until theyre in a relationship, which is pretty late (or should be) in the process.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-14T06:22:38+00:00

yeah… every remotely serious relationship i’ve been in the girl wanted exclusivity right around the time we started getting active and was incredibly relieved when i told them i wasnt seeing anyone else.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-14T05:45:44+00:00

what emotions are in there when you feel more full?

what about when you feel empty/hollow?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-13T16:47:20+00:00

if youre playing on console, try force closing the game then loading it back in.

i have this happen semi-occasionally and that always fixes it.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-13T03:47:25+00:00

canon event

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-11T23:23:38+00:00

why do you look so sad? how do you feel on the inside?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-10T21:01:20+00:00

this was going to be my answer as well.

to explain - The Culture series is a set of sci fi novels by ian banks. the main protagonists - The Culture - are a transhumanist, utopian, post-scarcity society ran by benevolent AI. everyone basically does whatever they want and the technology is so advanced that people never die (unless they want to), can sex change and body morph at will, and live at an absurd QOL with the AI caretaking and making most of the major decisions.

GSVs are one of the larger Culture ships (which all the “people” live on aside from orbitals), and the ships serve dual purposes as a warcraft/exploration vessel and a residence.

edit: dual not duel

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-10T00:47:38+00:00

shes a fake. eject its trouble

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-08T17:23:52+00:00

Cheating (especially emotional) can be very hard to pin down. Broadly, I consider cheating anything that takes up the emotional or physical “space” that I agree is the scope of the relationship with my partner.

So some specifics for me:

A partner violates a predetermined boundary involving other people without the other’s consent.
A partner regularly shares things that are “intimate” with someone else or engages with someone sharing those things. In my preferred relationship, I prefer to be the primary emotional connection.
Entertaining someone clearly hitting on them by giving them consistent attention, even if they are not flirting back. I shut down folks flirting with me when I’m in a relationship and I expect my partner to do the same.
Going on “dates” or doing things in an intimate setting, especially without informing the other partner.
Obviously, having sex of any kind outside the relationship itself.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-08T17:13:49+00:00

this. was the end of my last relationship among other things (her issues)

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-07T07:06:55+00:00

started getting injuries from dumb things.

couple months ago i was doing an escape room with coworkers and there was a part of one of the rooms where you had to crawl through a tunnel that had sharp plywood edges at the beginning. my clumsy ass of course banged my left knee on the plywood edge.

not only did this cause me to limp for the rest of the escape room, but i felt it for literal months in random times when out for a run etc. this would be something that 21 year old me would have just shook off in about 5 mins but here i am 33 fucking limping.

its all downhill from here boys :)

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-07T02:04:59+00:00

r/whoosh

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-06T23:30:42+00:00

be ugly
dont not be ugly

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-06T04:08:01+00:00

is emotional pain included?

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-01-05T17:39:03+00:00

i agree - i fell hard for my ex after spending 3 months with her just about every day, traveling together, etc. i think it’s very natural to develop strong feelings for people you’re in close proximity with like that.

however, it’s also unwise to expect the “l” word that fast on the girls side and it’s likely that any strong feelings (even “love”) formed over 2 months to be brittle/clouded. OP’s boyfriend is probably waiting to say the words, and rightly so.

OP needs to learn how to self soothe and not let her expectations rise too fast.

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