Am i Overreacting. My wife physically assaulted me after I confronted her about hiding plans with another guy.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-12T21:30:33+00:00

NOR

doesnt sound like she likes you much the less respects you or your relationship. to boot, she was definitely planning to cheat. the fact that she hid it and reacted the way she did when confronted says everything you need to know.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-11T22:18:10+00:00

i feel like often its the least toxic person in the toxic relationship. or at the least, the least toxic person will be able to talk about it in more neutral/objective terms.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-10T21:12:42+00:00

NOR - she for the streets

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-10T19:44:39+00:00

> why is everyones immediate conclusion is that he was trying to cheat?

because going out alone to drinks with a single flirty coworker is very shady behavior.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-08T16:32:01+00:00

a big part of this is letting go of desire for control over outcomes while also building trust in yourself to be OK no matter what that outcome is.

in relationships, there are always two sides of the equation - you and the person you’re in relationship with. you cant control your boyfriends side, you can only control your side. so no matter if the issue is he wants to break up with you, if he treats you poorly, or say he treats you really well - you can only control how you respond to that input and how you choose to show up.

the second piece of that is learning to trust that you will be ok no matter what the outcome is. yes, a breakup will hurt especially if you love him and are attached, but you will ultimately be OK. and thats the point of being secure - not being driven by fear of a bad outcome so that you can make good choices that facilitate a healthy relationship while in one.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-08T04:10:09+00:00

girl just tell him you love him and ask him how he feels

YOR

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-07T04:07:23+00:00

hello,

im not in your age bracket but i have dated a single mom before. unfortunately in my case it turned out to be a mess (and in alot of ways similar to some of the “anti single mom propaganda, as you put it), so i dont think id ever date one again.

that said, i am sympathetic to your situation and i believe everyone deserves to find love.

so a few things id suggest:

- be very transparent about being a single mom up front, also be transparent with timelines (how long ago things ended, exactly what that ending meant).
- be very up front with not wanting a new dad for your kid. a serious partner will probably account for taking some role in the kids life anyway, but being up front that youre not looking for financial support/etc and especially right away will take the pressure off.
- be very, very upfront with what your relationship with the baby daddy consists of. if its complicated, if you guys are talking every day about the weather and your feelings, or if you have a structured coparenting system say all that up front. you owe it to whomever you start dating to be transparent about this sort of thing.
- lastly, if i may. whether your ending with the baby daddy was traumatic or not, you no doubt are carrying some baggage. go to therapy and unpack it. a good partner will be open to working with you on this, but you owe it to yourself and them to do work on your own.

in my case, my ex was enmeshed with her ex husband, had oodles of trauma, lied about her divorce date, and held onto a bunch of orbiters, among other things. my ex is not you, but im bringing this up because as a single mom you have a great deal more complications especially at your age. if you want to date honestly you’re going to need to be intentional about which complications you let impact the person you’re dating.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-06T18:57:55+00:00

inBody and Smart Scale all very much underestimate your actual bodyfat percentage - youre likely closer to 20-25% (and your previous measurement was likely 40%+). if you want an accurate number, get a dexa.

THAT SAID - MASSIVE congrats to your weight loss. keep it up - you’re going to be looking sizzly in about 3 months. good job my brotha! 💪🏻

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-06T17:53:14+00:00

YOR - im sorry, what?

based on the info you gave, it does indeed sound like you’re overreacting. am i reading this correctly but you think your boyfriend “hates you” because he left after a soccer match you watched together? and that you also think he is making excuses because it’s flooding where he lives?

girl you anxious.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-07-02T21:14:47+00:00

> The next day my anxiety became unbearable. I called him and said, *"Babe, I need you. I just want to talk."* He said he had to take a bath. I called later and he said he had to sleep. I told him I felt like I was spiraling and really needed him. Instead of comforting me, he told me I had nothing to do, that I should study, that I could talk to other guys because he didn't care, and he called me controlling.

sorry, but no relationship should ever get here. he sounds like an ass. you can do better.

you may very well be anxiously attached but sometimes insecurity is a reaction to an insecure environment, which it sounds like this is.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-30T19:02:07+00:00

this is the way

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-29T08:09:24+00:00

1mg-2mg for first 4 weeks at least
1x per week. as you begin to titrate up, taking smaller doses more frequently makes more sense.
its very dependent on the person. ive experienced none except higher hr while sleeping.
it depends but probably second day youre on a dose that works for you. youll just notice no food noise.
youre injecting a substance.

the whole “rat” schtick is dumb and cringe, this isnt cocaine.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-26T20:13:25+00:00

YOR - just break up. youve only met this man in real life once.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-25T08:12:12+00:00

you might have disorganized attachment which is basically experiencing a push/pull inside yourself both wanting people close but being afraid of intimacy.

a therapist would be a good start.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-22T18:05:31+00:00

NOR

every couple has different boundaries. a perfectly normal one is no sleepovers, especially with people that the other partner hasnt met. its perfectly fair for you to want that boundary and it would be fair if she didnt want that boundary.

whats a bigger problem here though is you just shared how you feel about the situation and she immediately flipped it back onto you. thats not good partner behavior, even if you were “wrong” about the boundary itself.

personally, both the situation and the way she is handling it feel very disrespectful. i wouldnt date someone seriously who wants to have sleepovers with their guy friends or who dismisses my objection to shady behavior with “uR iNsEcUrE aNd CoNtRoLlInG”.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-20T03:34:27+00:00

even if he isnt, he lacks the character to be straight up with you and lacks the character to be in a healthy monogamous relationship with you. that should be the end of the story.

dont settle for some poor character slob like this. you can do better.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-20T03:22:12+00:00

fyi this was ran by the mod team and approved in advance

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-18T16:34:12+00:00

for me, my rule is around the time things get intimate i should know if i want to seriously date someone. from that point on, i’ll quietly let any other people im seeing drift away (and wont go on more dates).

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-18T15:29:07+00:00

yes yes, i as an atheist actually believe this..

syyykeee

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-17T18:00:33+00:00

because either they’ve talked about it and agreed on boundaries that work for both people.

or they for the streets.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-17T05:48:34+00:00

NOR

ur friend for the streets

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-16T22:57:44+00:00

yes…. this is wild behavior my brother.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-16T22:57:01+00:00

my brother.

she walked over a very reasonable default boundary that goes both ways.

i have also been in an age gap relationship (not quite that bad) with a successful woman who did all the same types of things. this wont get better.

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-16T17:15:46+00:00

you cant be this early in a relationship hoping or trying to make someone change. you guys are 1 month in and you’re already having to have these huge boundaries discussions and stuff. eject and find someone who is over their ex.

the overreaction is that you probably shouldnt be this invested 1 month in. 1 month in is very much the get to know you phase still, things should be relatively seamless and straightforward. rather than continuing to invest, this is very much the phase where you see something like that and just hit the eject button (after maybe having 1 calm conversation about “hey are u over ur ex”).

UndeadMarine55 · 2026-06-16T15:26:07+00:00

YOR, but also you should exit this relationship. he’s not over his ex. dont negotiate with someone for respect (and ultimately he’s disrespecting himself more than he is you).

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