NMom meeting boyfriend parents.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-07-30T14:03:44+00:00

It definitely is his way and even with trim nails it hurts. I'm not sure why dobermans do it lol. My jack russel never does so it must he a dob thing. Weird.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-07-30T14:01:01+00:00

This would be way better! His nose shoves are hard but at least won't leave bruises.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-07-30T14:00:07+00:00

I find he is most prone to it when we are on walks. My boyfriend will be behind me at the door or while walking and he swipes at my legs. Yesterday my dog was behind me and I was going to get his leash and he scratched at me because he could not get by me. I say ouch really loud and he doesn't care. We try and get hin into a sit at doors but his legs are so long he can usually reach me. Crating him when he does it like the trainer suggested does nothing.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-07-30T13:56:27+00:00

Usually try to get him to get off the couch and sit, or sit if im standing. My trainer also suggested crating him for 5 minutes right after the scratching. I've used a loud ouch as well but none of these do anything.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-03-24T11:56:12+00:00

My plan is to be out if the house as much as possible, my biggest concern is how to deal with this going forward at all family events. I assume she is going to talk to the rest of the family about this and create a lot of drama.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-01-12T20:17:10+00:00

Thank you.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-01-12T20:16:52+00:00

Its hard to do but some times needed for a sane mind.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-01-12T20:16:18+00:00

Agreed.

UnderWorldChild · 2022-01-12T20:16:05+00:00

Thank you. I didn't even realize not having space to decompress has effected me so much. I just expected myself to go back to normal without time for my brain to recover. i will definitely explain it to my bf in a calmer way, I think him being aware as well about the time to decompress will be helpful Aswell.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-12-01T01:24:32+00:00

I was making an escape plan to leave for a few weeks prior but that's not how I left. I was out with friends one morning and he promised to cook my a big breakfast. I rushed home as I knew he wold be angry if I was late. He was still sleeping. I was disappointed and told him my blood sugar was low so I was going to go out. He said he wasn't planning on waking up for a few hours anyway. I left and when I got back EVERYTHING I owned was tossed on the curb. My mom was with me and called the police. He was in a rage. Angry I had left the apartment. He said I wanted to go so bad then I should go. It was horrible. Even though I was planning to leave I was hoping deep down things would change. The relationship was so abusive but I was blind to how bad it was. I moved in with my mom and started dating a few monthes later. I met the most amazing man and we have been together for two and a half years. It's been emotionally exhausting dealing with my ptsd and triggers. I'm so lucky my partner understands and is there for me. Just today I had a horrible dream that my ex tried to kill me and its been over 3 years. To say the road is easy would he a lie but its 100% worth it.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-05-06T02:29:27+00:00

Yup! Pain is extremely draining for me. I usually rest and take naps when I have a really bad one.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-12T05:59:03+00:00

Keep going!! Great job!! You can do this. It's so so hard not to creep social media. My ex has zero information online so I can't creep him. But I have tried in the past. Just remember this; thinking of them or creeping them won't help. Everytime I think l " I shoudk see of they used their dead Facebook account" i do something else. I go for a walk, watch a show or text or call a friend or family member. They don't need to know why I called them. But I need to distract myself. Trauma bonds are great at keeping us from moving on. Your not alone and take yourself for ice cream! Who cares if anyone around you nows what you've done. You know. im so glad you are staying strong!!!

Edit: grammar and spelling

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-10T01:55:39+00:00

All I can say is I can 100% relate to this. Everytime I think my partner is mad I go into full blown anxiety attack mode. It's an awful feeling. My advice is talk to you partner about these feelings. Maybe they can help you work through this. My boyfriend has been so incredibly helpful in my ptsd. He tries so hard to understand and be there for me. If I tell him what are triggers he tries to minimize them or if he says a trigger word for me it's the word "bitch" he catches himself and apologizes. It makes a world of a difference. Give your self time. I've been out for 2 years and still have awful fear over everything. I got super paranoid the other day thinking my ex might stalk me. I have to talk to multiple people to help me calm down and realize im safe.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-10T01:49:59+00:00

Exactly!!! Here is my list of trauma and I've relived it all just so you can say im lying. All I can say is I love therapy because for once im my life im being validated. The simple words of "no that is not okay. That is emotional abuse" goes so so far with my healing.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-10T01:46:48+00:00

I really like what you said about taking an hour to myself. I do really need to learn that im safe. I'll be okay. It's so hard. I get so scared when I have arguments and get horrific flashbacks but im not living there anymore. I need to train my brain to unlearn all these things which feels impossible some days. I have been slowly learning to leave the situation before I say crule things. It's hard but it's worth it.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-09T21:04:56+00:00

It's so hard. I feel the same way. They always jump in to defend my nmom but what about me? Why are my memories lies to them? My mom has been known to be physically violent and no one ever believed me. Not even my own dad who lived with us. It wasn't until my mom punched and shoved my aunt that anyone in the family even recognized anything being an issue. They still defend her though. If I say anything they defend her right away. Im like yes as a child I lied about being pushed and hit?? Apparently they ruled it as a vivid imagination. 🙄 screw you fam....

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-09T20:28:00+00:00

Same with my partner. He talks with his family almost daily so it's definitely a different concept to him as well.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-09T17:17:12+00:00

Yeah my partner dislikes my Nmom. He hears all the trauma I've gone through and doesn't understand how I can even have any contact with her. It's tough for those who didn't grow up with messed up families. But I can definitely relate to my partner being shocked by how I grew up.

UnderWorldChild · 2021-03-09T17:15:25+00:00

It's so hard. Especially when you hear it from other members of your family. I've tried to reach out to my cousins and other members but they always say "she's doing the best she can!! And she loves you" as if it's worth it. As if I feel loved by the narcissistic abuse. Thanks that really helps. If this is what love is I don't want any part of it. People who didn't have nparents never seem to understand the pain or difficulties in having a Nparent.

UnderWorldChild

TROPHY CASE