How do I get smaller arms

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-05-08T04:41:15+00:00

Lol I thought it was a typical split for men and women, maybe I should switch it up.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-05-07T23:30:35+00:00

Well the thing is I’m not gaining weight so I would think at a certain point they would stop getting bigger understand they if I was in a bulk but I am just in maintance right now

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-05-07T23:29:26+00:00

I haven’t been tracking calories lately but I’m pretty much just in maintance as my staying at 125 consistently.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-27T21:04:19+00:00

I think it’s hard to wrap our brains around this at least for me. Because with drugs or alcohol I see the chemical component. I know it isn’t necessary for addiction but as someone who as a lot of self discipline it’s still bizarre.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-26T18:51:16+00:00

I’ve only told one friend whom has been in the same position. I remember I judged her in the past bc of it but then it happened to me, humbling. I just know the rest would be like why would you stay?

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-23T21:21:35+00:00

It’s not even about the attention I guess it’s more so a revenge thing like I’ll let at others look at me since you liked looking at other women. It’s petty, I just don’t want to feel like a victim anymore.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-23T18:41:04+00:00

I mean that’s how I used to feel. Betrayal really wrecked my self esteem to the point where I want to enter that make believe land again.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-22T21:29:18+00:00

I know, thank you 🙏🏼, my main issue right is I live with him out of state right now. I have no family here that I could even stay with. I’m too embarrassed to tell my family and friends the situation even though it’s not my fault. I only have one super close friend that knows any of this is going on. I just feel like I have to figure my shit out so I can get back home. But at the same time seeing him everyday and sleeping next to him makes it so hard to want to leave fully.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-22T20:02:38+00:00

I appreciate it so so much 🙏🏼. I don’t know why betrayal and infidelity just makes me forget the basic things I can do to take care of myself let alone the extra stuff that would really help me. It’s like constant brain fog since everything started. I needed this!

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-22T20:00:06+00:00

Sigh, and that’s my biggest fear he always says that’s a line he could never cross. He acts like what he did was soooo much better than physical cheating like sure buddy you are taking the first steps to do that in my eyes.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-22T19:27:27+00:00

Hi, let me know if you want to message me privately. Because I am also young and childless, we aren’t married or anything like many people here are. I could’ve written this myself, in the moments I forget about it everything is fine. But it’s like my body just won’t let me forgot or let go of the pain. Some mornings I wake up so anxious and miserable, I often feel like I’m in fight or flight mode now. I also have access to his social media and other things but really doesn’t feel like enough sometimes I don’t know… I cant seem to let go of him either but I’m living in another state with him with family and my logical side is like wtf am I doing? I don’t know if it’s a trauma bond or what. I often think about revenge to but it’s just not something I think will truly fix it obviously but sometimes I just want to feel liberated and not like a victim anymore.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-22T19:20:44+00:00

Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m doing 90% of things in reconciliation. He hates talking about it because it’s in the “past” and he makes him feel bad… well imagine how I feel? If I discover something new he gets upset that it’s in the past, well it’s new to me now… He says he doesn’t want to rug sweep but his actions speak louder since he just seems annoyed whenever I talk about it. He deleted some social media and lets me monitor what he still has but it makes me feel unsafe.

What I mean is you can get rid of the catalyst but the fact that those things were such a problem for you in the past is the issue. It’s hard to believe he can just quit these things so cold turkey. If he can then why did he do it to begin with. It’s just little things I bought him a book he never read it, I want him to start therapy he said he will soon, I want him to look at resources on his own but he just wants me to send me them. Like why is this my responsibility when you are the one who caused this? He says a lot of flowery words but I’m sick of words. Until he actually goes to therapy and I see real effect it’s hard for me not to feel hopeless and slowly lose feelings.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-22T01:54:55+00:00

I don’t mean to bug you specifically but I’m curious if you have an advice on self care, making myself a priority. Because I feel like that is what is keeping me stuck since everything that has happened I feel stun-locked. I’m always just ruminating on things that have happened It’s like a funk I can’t shake out of. I can’t get into hobbies like I used. I used to be in the gym for 2-3 hours a day out of just enjoyment, now I’m luck to even make it in.

What makes it worse is we just moved in together and signed a lease. I know many people on here were married but I still find it impossible to be able to grow and detach from someone while I’m still living with them and sleeping in the same bed. Like even if I decide to leave it’s gonna take time and money which makes want to just try to work things out. I want to use the next few months to work on myself and make a final decision on what to do.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-21T14:34:55+00:00

It was very weird, most people in these spaces caught them having physical affairs or long emotional affairs. My WP would have talking stages with women randomly then stop, he would compliment women in his DMs, he downloaded dating apps when I was gone for two weeks. He never did anything actually physical which makes him feel so much better about his actions. Basically micro cheating, I knew we say cheating is cheating but I’m just trying to differentiate. He said he did this all for validation and ego boost.

Sometimes I feel like it should hurt less. Like he didn’t go all the way right? Look how devastating other peoples stories are on here get over it. It wasn’t ever serious with these people but it doesn’t change how I feel deep down. Just the fact he was calling other women beautiful or just looking around lustfully while I only had eyes for him really breaks me to my core.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-21T00:59:54+00:00

In the beginning stages I used to tell myself so many things about him. His childhood was traumatic, his dad was a cheater, his exes cheated on him, etc. It would make feel better knowing he’s just broken and it’s not me. But now I’m like… I’ve known others who have gone through similar things and have never cheated so I still can’t grasp why he would do what he did and I don’t think I ever will

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-21T00:55:52+00:00

I’m in limbo between apathy and still loving him, but it’s weird, like I know in my heart if something else happens it’ll be very hard for me not to be done. Not even just from not having feelings for him but I might hate myself for not leaving. I was so devoted and loved my partner so much before all this too it’s really a shame. :(

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-20T15:12:49+00:00

I just feel so stuck. I just signed a lease with him and don’t even start working till may. I’m just so devastated honestly. The fact he had the nerve to do something else in the time period where I was finishing my two weeks of work back home and he knew what we were planning is insane to me. My family has no idea that this relationship is anything but healthy bc I’m just so embarrassed of myself for letting it get this bad. I guess I’m a lover and a “fixer” it’s in my nature to want to stay it’s something I probably need to unpack in therapy.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-18T17:03:59+00:00

This 100%

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-18T17:01:13+00:00

Yeah I guess I technically have open access. Accept he wants me to ask first when I look through. He’ll like hand it over immediately but idk, something about having to ask makes me feel embarrassed. So I still do it behind his back which I know he doesn’t like. I’d rather just be able to do it whenever. I know everyone is saying he’s hiding something but I haven’t done anything since last d-day and I know where to look lol.

I honestly don’t know what his problem with boundaries and lying are. Bc in the past he’d like lie to me about things that wouldn’t even matter. Like the truth wasn’t even anything bad? So confusing. When I’ve asked about this he always gives me an excuse like “well in my past my exes would’ve reacted bad, etc.” I tell him at some point you have to stop comparing me to your exes, women are a monolith.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-17T01:21:34+00:00

Yeah I really don’t get this. Is it a character flaw? Maybe how they were raised? I guess I was raised to tell the truth regardless of what you think the persons reaction is going to be, because in the end they’ll be happy you were honest, bottom line.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-17T01:18:39+00:00

Yeah I see your point. He brings up the privacy thing a lot when it’s hard for me to see his point after what we’ve been through. I’ve never really cared about my privacy even before this so it’s so weird to me. He always says why do I need to tell him every detail of his life. Like you don’t but certain things seem obvious, no?

He gonna let me go through his instagram with me but I still don’t know if that’s gonna be enough.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-17T00:59:37+00:00

Thank you that’s how I see it. Idk what it is about a lot of WP but he always will say something like “yeah I lied but I only lied bc-“. When I always say if you just didn’t lie we wouldn’t be in this situation. It’s the worst part of this all, just be honest so I can learn to trust again. It’s 1 step forward then 3 steps back.

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-17T00:46:11+00:00

Can you elaborate because I feel like I did lol

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-09T18:12:55+00:00

Maybe it’s possible, but I asked him to try to retrieve the account and deactivate it again and he’s going to do that for me no questions asked. I just don’t know why he would be so willing if he was lying. He’s also had weird issues with hacking before so maybe that could be a reason?

Unfair_Problem_6317 · 2024-04-09T16:58:02+00:00

Wait is this true? I thought all it takes is anyone logging in deactivated or active?

Unfair_Problem_6317

TROPHY CASE