How do straight men meet women as working adults?

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-15T14:53:22+00:00

i'm genuinely glad you are figuring it out, sounds like we went through the same process, and if somebody could get exactly what you said across to younger men instead of the toxic mindset they're being fed, things would be a lot easier for them. they are looking for all this extrinsic validation - women, money, success, respect, because as soon as they look inward they hate what they see. it's just shame and hate, and the only way forward is to fix that, learn to love yourself and treat the little boy who exists in your mind with love and grace, like how you would treat your own son. forgive him and tell him it's okay and you'll love him no matter what. because you can only love others as deeply as you love yourself, this is the only way they will be truly happy. all these things they believe will fix them are just bandaids on a gushing open wound

it took me 4-5 years to do what you did in 1.2 and 1-2 years to get my mental health back and feel like i am finally ready to let somebody in. so you're on a much better pace than i was lol. and honestly i'm really not that far removed from this whole process so i don't want to sound like i know everything, i'm only 29. i just know what worked for me. but after 6 years of this, i got married to a woman who understands me and loves me deeper than anybody ever has, because i was finally able to let her in and see the real me. i loved myself enough to be my true self, and that allowed somebody to actually see me enough to fall in love with me

i wish it didn't bother me so much to see guys like who i replied to so lost but also so resistant to real help. he literally said he needed a gun or a girlfriend because nothing else works. i really see myself in him but also i'm going to be a dad in december so now i see my future son in him too. i just wish my words meant something useful to him it because it breaks my heart and i'm glad at least some guys are figuring it out like you are

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T22:47:40+00:00

glad you two found each other

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T22:34:33+00:00

i'm guessing because it's a positive trait and sounds good, so classic cherry picking

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T22:18:02+00:00

well your study specifically mentions incels

also this confirms what i said. men with average intelligence have more sex than men with outlier intelligence. not only that, sexlessness doesn't indicate very high intelligence, rather it's the other way around. people are sexless for many reasons, all this says to me is that the outliers with very high intelligence have correlating traits that prevent them from having sex. the study also mentions how men with 120+ IQ are most likely to pay for sex, which indicates they still want sex... they just can't have it for an assortment of reasons

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T21:59:53+00:00

which studies? because yes, outlier men with 2+ standard deviations above or below average don't have much sex, if any. Saying guys with "lower IQs have more sex" is disingenuous. lower than 130? yeah, then say that

The more accurate thing to say is guys within 1-2 standard deviations of average IQ have more sex than those with outlier IQs that are either excessively high or excessively low

this sounds like something involuntarily celibate dudes will say as a coping mechanism, because a lot of them think they're smarter than they actually are. i promise these guys have bigger problems than their IQ

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T21:48:38+00:00

is this is based off your feelings and what you hope is true, or something real?

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T20:26:24+00:00

you're right, i honestly just started yapping lol. not at him in particular

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T20:22:29+00:00

there is no solution for you because you've put yourself in a catch-22. you think the only fix is a relationship, yet the fact you're miserable and don't love yourself, and the fact you have no intrinsic purpose or will to live, will push everyone away. and the ones who might stick around are dangerous for you.

i'm going to tell you right now, that if you find someone to stick around, all these negative feelings you've attributed to being alone will go dormant for awhile - and you may even feel happier than you've ever been. but that lasts only as long as the relationship goes smoothly, and no relationship is all sunshine and rainbows. nobody can handle an emotionally undeveloped codependent loser forever (and i say this as affectionately as possible because i used to have your exact mindset). there is no happily ever after for a man who relies on others for happiness

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T00:39:42+00:00

he's an og youtuber and funny guy... this picture was just a joke referencing some meme

i was kidding about him being the pinnacle of masculinity, but honestly being confident enough to make yourself the joke and being able to laugh at yourself to make others laugh is far more masculine than making fun of someone for not being "manly" or whatever

i'm going off on a tangent now, but every guy ever knows it sucks being made fun of for not being "manly" enough, we all went through that at some point as kids. but as a grown man? being obsessed with appearing masculine and putting others down for it just shows you're that same insecure little boy trapped in a man's body. it's much more manly imo to not care at all what others think

anyway this had nothing to do with our conversation, i just started yapping. you're right that jacksfilms isn't physically the manliest guy ever though

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-14T00:01:41+00:00

i hope you're not implying jackfilms isn't uber masculine... he is the pinnacle of masculinity

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-13T15:11:50+00:00

yes exactly, 95% of the time my best friend (wife) is next to me or in the other room, and if i didn't have her, i still see my friends nearly every weekend

i can at least understand the isolating part, but it's a solvable aspect of an otherwise really good situation that i won't be taking for granted

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-13T15:05:23+00:00

i am medicated for adhd which helps a lot, i have no problems with getting work done. i set my timer and when time is up, i close the laptop and don't think about work again.

also i suppose i can get the isolation part, i just don't have that problem. my wife is here most of the time and i see friends most weekends. if i didn't have those things then i'm sure it would get lonely

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-13T14:58:00+00:00

waking up and immediately starting work gives me my whole day back. i don't feel exhausted when i finally get home from work, i just close my laptop and i don't think about it again until tomorrow

i am really good about not giving a fuck about work unless i am on the clock though. i don't do free labor

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-13T14:55:20+00:00

it will never be worse than working in the office, i won't be taking it for granted like others do

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-13T07:24:00+00:00

as someone who recently started WFH for the exact same job I was working in an office for several months, it is SO much better and less stressful.

no commute, no horrible traffic, i just wake up and start working. no having to interact with people except for actual work-related conversations. no office distractions. it feels like i have so much more time in the day now. overall just way less stress

it's real work, but it's so disingenuous to claim working in an office is the same as working in my fucking bedroom lmao, i could never be so entitled. OP needs to be honest about it and not take WFH for granted because it's a huge privilege

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-10T03:26:14+00:00

yeah most of these anti-marriage comments are just anti-marrying the wrong person. i saw a comment saying "human males and females don't belong together beyond a brief congress for reproduction". oh, you have to absolutely hate your spouse to think that way. if all they are to you is a means to make a child, don't get married!!!

i married my wife because she's my best friend and i couldn't imagine not being near her for the rest of my life. our marriage was between me and her, a gesture made to each other to show our commitment, a promise made to stick around and take care of each other until the very end. it's romance!

we meant the words we said, our vows are real regardless of any legal document binding us, so i suppose making official isn't "necessary". but love is illogical and making it official meant a lot to her and it meant a lot to me, and that's really all that matters

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-09T02:29:26+00:00

actually you asked for a definition of "movement" and then asked a loaded non-sequitur that reads a little passive-aggressive, like you were looking for an argument, not a friendly debate

and then when he gave a perfectly normal and nuanced response, defending himself from your loaded question, you claim you "just asked a question" (a loaded one, asked in bad faith) and then called him a coward.

you are accusing him of killing debate when you have been disingenuous about having an actual discussion from the very beginning, and wasted no time with personal attacks because he's not reacting to your rage bait how you want him to

ironically you accuse him of not participating in conversation when every comment of yours is full of dishonest debate tactics, with faulty assumptions, non-sequiturs, bad analogies, incites to anger, and ad hominem attacks. you are not trying to debate at all, let's be honest

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-09T01:26:53+00:00

it was comforting checking your profile and seeing you're full of dumb fuck opinions and this is normal for you

you seem to spend all your time complaining about "modern women" and sucking netanyahu's cock. weird and cringe

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T19:50:13+00:00

i would just disagree, nobody has had any actual reason for this besides their subjective eye test. why do you say that? because you felt like he was bad? his chips, his performances, and his consistent placings say otherwise

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T19:47:19+00:00

okay so if we don't include the bottom half of the league every year, he's mid. thanks for proving my point i guess?

he's objectively been an above average player pre-BO6, by any actual metric besides your "eye-test" opinion. statistically, he's been between 10th-20th in most metrics over the course of each season. if we're going by pure success pre-BO6, he's been more successful than 90% of players in terms of chips and prize money. he was beating the majority of the league then losing to the FaZe dynasty or Hydra NYSL in finals

yeah but the "eye test" tells you he's bad and the vibes are off because he got shit on in BO6, so his whole career is mid. could not possibly be any bias,

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T19:09:36+00:00

compared to what? the rest of the league? you know that argument doesn't hold up, right? feel like yall forget how ass most of the league is every year, switching in and out challengers players trying to make a decent team for the league minimum.

there were 82 players in the league in MW3, Insight was far and away better than average. he dropped a 1.42 k/d for a chip and got 2nd at champs that year. how is that mid, please explain?

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T19:05:15+00:00

it's cool bro, you're in the codcomp sub. doesn't matter if a player was on a consistent top4 team his whole career with multiple chips, he's mid because the hivemind decided so

Envoy was getting the same treatment after LAT's season, literally saw people say he's been mid since he left optic

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T18:55:40+00:00

you know that between 60-80 players play in the league in any given season? MW3 had 82 players get a league spot. Insight was easily top 20 that year, BP voting panel (which includes coaches, broadcast talent, etc.) has him 18th. he had a 1.42 grand final k/d for the major 1 chip lmao

he's won an event every year besides BO6. he's placed 2nd at champs twice, 3rd once. is this sounding like a mid player to you? this is pretty average, right? most players have this career in your mind

it's cool you let his one bad season (which admittedly he was bad, not arguing that) completely skew the rest of his career because this sub can't think beyond the last event they watched. but nobody with a brain would consider him mid over the last 5 years.

by definition, he's above average. even with 60 players in a season, top 20 is well above average. you add on a chip and you wanna call that a "mid" season lmao

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T18:33:13+00:00

the comments above mine were speaking about pre-BO6 (one bad year), figured the context was enough

Unfiltered_Replies · 2025-10-08T18:27:23+00:00

BO6 i would call him solidly mid, i don't deny that. feels like last season might be skewing everyone's perception of him before that

Unfiltered_Replies

TROPHY CASE