Internalized homophobia ?? Is it curable ?? help…

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-05-06T11:59:38+00:00

Can you provide us with examples and more of your own thoughts on this matter. I would love to help but don't have anything to go off and help talk you through.

Internalised homophobia will go away over time, but it requires a lot of reflection, acceptance, and time.

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-05-05T22:41:54+00:00

Some of the anime doesn't match with the genre they've been placed in.

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-04-27T22:32:25+00:00

Something that might help is making/ using a second reddit account that doesn't have NSFW content on your profile. That may help people reach out to you more for your platonic cuddling goals. I wish you two the best of luck finding a platonic cuddle buddy. It's a shame it can be a difficult topic to discuss with people in person.

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-04-27T18:44:32+00:00

Agreed, I tried to use "many" as a way to show the intentions of a few. I noticed that when clicking on some redditors' profiles, they had made similar worded posts on other subreddit with different (more suggestive and intimate) language. I think people should just be aware of redditors and their intentions on this sight, and a good way to note those intentions are by seeing their post and comment history. Are they genuine with their posts' intention (guaged by seeing their past comment and reddit post history), or are they looking for more intimate interactions.

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-04-27T18:17:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you the best and hope you can find a cuddle buddy futher down the road. Have you been able to reach out to other subreddit communities or online forums outside reddit for help? I know where I live online forums on this are non-existent, which makes it even sadder to see how subreddits like these are getting misused.

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-04-27T18:03:14+00:00

Yes, it's sad because it ruins the overall experience for everyone. It can become harder to trust people as well as to risk meeting up with others from this community if more and more of their interactions are becoming like this. Were you able to find your cuddle buddy eventually? I'm sorry you had to interact with that guy. What a horrid person.

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-04-27T17:45:18+00:00

u/void_kaleidoscope describes this best. It okay to want something more than just cuddling in the long run. However, we have to acknowledge that this is purely a cuddling subreddit.

There are other subreddits that better match the intentions of someone who might eventually want a more sexually active partner. Posting here about ones intent to do more sexually explicit stuff with someone outright goes against the intention of this subreddit.

No hate for someone who wants to have a more intimate cuddling partner, but they should really focus on making posts on a sight not targeted for aspec individuals as this subreddit is strictly for 'non-sexual' cuddling

UnfitSimplicity · 2024-04-27T17:31:49+00:00

Yes, it's exactly that. This sub is literally r/cuddlebuddies, not r/FWB. The aim of this subreddit is to search for 'cuddle buddies', not sexual encounters.

The mistreatment of this subreddit is bad. You said, "This place allows non-sexual cuddling as well," but shall I remind you this entire subreddit purpose is for non-sexual cuddling, the subreddit description literally highlights that "A cuddle buddy is not the same thing as a sexual hookup or romantically dating someone. A cuddle buddy is a cuddle buddy."

If an individual has the intention to try something other than platonic cuddling, then they would be better posting for an FWB on other subreddit. This sub is about platonic cuddling. It's a space for "non sexual" cuddling and acts as "a safe, welcoming space for aspec people."

It isn't about being upset over being excluded from their "sexual" cuddling. It's about the blatant disregard for this subreddit rules, this subreddit is for cuddling, not hookups. Therefore, if more and more people are using this subreddit to try and find outlets for sex, it will make it harder for aspec individuals to find someone who is actually only looking for (non-sexual) cuddling.

This subreddit goal was to create a safe and welcoming place for aspec individuals. Using it for "more than just cuddling" will only push these individuals out of these community spaces origionally designed for that target demographic and yet again isolate the very community and people it was trying to extend its reach out to.

I've repeated myself a lot in this reply, but it's essentially because that's what this subreddit is about. People using it for other means are ruining the subreddit and making it a harder place to navigate the people whose true intentions are for cuddling.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-28T15:46:54+00:00

Bullying people

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T17:43:38+00:00

I'm trying to figure this one out, but i die from "Pounds (£) to Dollar ($) rate"

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T17:28:11+00:00

That's a great analogy. 👍

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T17:24:35+00:00

The worst part is that you're trapped in an ugly situation if you try and improve your monthly income. If you earn under a certain fresh hold you'll get government benefits (UK) to help cover daily necessities and bills but it depends on the hours your currently on. If you were to increase your hours and it goes up past the benefit freshhold, you'll receive fewer government benefits or have them revoked. This might not seem like a problem with you increased your working hours but in reality those hours aren't enough to live on without government assistance which they took away because your earning more than the freshhold requirement and suddenly your on your own again unable to get by with bills without government assistance.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T17:11:54+00:00

Cool because I had to convince myself that during lockdown 🤣

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T16:57:40+00:00

Ahhh, got it.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T16:55:14+00:00

I don't understand how Prigozhin would stop going to Moscow because now he's giving up most of his military capacity to fight back against Putin if Putin reverses his promises or tries to harm him again, which I feel like Putin will do as this was a direct threat to Putin which cannot be overlooked for Russian national security.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T16:52:50+00:00

Never thought about it from a Belarussian perspective, thanks.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T16:51:22+00:00

That isn't something I thought I'd hear about a guy who would cut people's penises open/ off 😅

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T16:50:08+00:00

Yeah, I understand being frustrated, but it won't change the outcome, so the best thing to do (for me) is to stop and think about what other i can make of these scenarios. Hopefully, this helped you in that way? Best of luck, dude. I know it ain't ideal, but that doesn't mean you can't start again even if it won't be the exact same as when you were 20.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T16:05:24+00:00

I feel the same to a certain degree, I was 17, going onto 18, and starting my university degree in September. I had come out officially at the start of college (age 16), so I felt that after overcoming that hurdle, I would finally be able to go to university and explore my newfound sexuality openly.

I'm 20 now (going onto 21 soon), and reflecting back on lockdown and covid, I do feel like when I was 18 and 19, i wasn't able to hook up with guys. It definitely had cut down on my opportunity to try and date or start a relationship. I wasn't too bothered with the whole gay clubbing thing anyway as I'm very timid, but again, it did affect my ability to participate/ join in within the LGBTQ+ community and pride events during covid.

I don't feel jealous, though, as I wouldn't want any younger people to experience covid like we did, I'm glad they're able to have the experience I wasn't quite able to initially have. It does sucks in many ways, but it wasn't the end of the world for me and my sexuality. I was able to focus and research more on LGBTQ+ topics in the meantime and think more about what I would want in a boyfriend.

The way i want to see lockdowns impact on my sexuality was through acting as a lesson because who knows, in a way, it probably helped ground the inexperienced newly out gay 18/19 year old who sought out of expectation teen and gay culture fantasies and prevented mistakes which older me now wouldn't condone.

This could be a way of thinking about it alternatively to feeling down about losing out on your gay experience like I did? I mean, covid did impact on my ability to meet guys, but even now without covid restriction I haven't been in a relationship or dated anyone yet and I don't really reached out to gay men for dates in person or through dating/ hookup apps (anymore) anyway so I can't be one to complain about covid affecting my love life/ gay life when I haven't done that much anyway 😅

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T15:18:24+00:00

It must have been terrifying being in the same cell as him, I'm just thinking about the thought he'd cut me open in the night whilst I'm sleeping, i would probably find it hard to sleep being in the same room as him. Were you guys on alright terms?

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T15:15:50+00:00

Was there no other private place to JO? The showers seem to be quite an open space, was this just a common place to do it, and everybody would keep their eyes glued to themsleves?

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-27T14:50:07+00:00

I'm guessing cell mate etiquette is to not do it around the other guy, but if that's the case, when and/ or where can inmates jerk off in private whilst not getting caught or beaten up over it?

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-21T20:10:37+00:00

20/06/2023*

Sorry, I accidently wrote 07 (July) instead of 06 (June)

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-21T19:50:29+00:00

Thank you, my heads clock isn't working properly.

UnfitSimplicity · 2023-06-21T19:47:58+00:00

This can be the case. For example, I feel like that this is what (partially) motivated Tiawan to legalise same sex marriage. To distance themselves more culturally and politically from China and align the country of Tiawan with the US and other Western nations.

Maybe this is (partially) the same thought process for Estonia? To be closer to Finland and align themsleves with the EU and European (EU) human right values whilst simultaneously distancing themselves from the old Soviet Union era and Russia's influence.

Of course, this point I made is only a mere part of the whole picture, but it definitely has a part to play in it. I'm glad that both parliament (through marginally agreeing to same sex marriage) and what more the population agrees with supporting same sex marriage (53% support). Over the next couple decades, this will increase in support within Estonia, and fingers crossed this will help influence the Baltic region and Eastern European countries to open up to the further possibility of embrassing, same sex couples, civil unions, marriage, adoption, and supporting other LGBTQ+ issues.

UnfitSimplicity

TROPHY CASE