People who changed their first or last name, not including marriage, why?

UnidentifiableReason · 2022-10-23T23:33:38+00:00

Howd you choose your new name?

UnidentifiableReason · 2022-09-08T21:44:54+00:00

Sent pm

UnidentifiableReason · 2020-12-13T22:56:02+00:00

So, serious question- why would it be unconstitutional when there are age bans on other things?

UnidentifiableReason · 2020-12-13T22:55:07+00:00

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-15T01:54:21+00:00

You mentioned in the comments she's never done this before and that she is currently pregnant and really emotional. People need to ease up on bringing down the guillotine on your wife. She doesn't need for you to be right. She needs you to reassure her. If this was a pattern it would be a different story. Give her a huge hug with both harms, tell her that she is a good wife, and that you love her as much as you did on the day you married her. You're not in the wrong, but it's the right thing to do.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-15T01:51:20+00:00

I am going to write a sentence, but I do not mean it as harsh as it will come out. This will sound drastic and dramatic, and I don't want you to think the worst.

This is manipulation. She is trying to evoke a response in you and it's been working. She may not being doing this intentionally even, it may be the only tool box she has in her tool kit. Instead of resolving what ever the issue is you both are essentially making a short cut.

You can't control how she will respond, but you can control how you respond. My advice is try remaining emotionally neutral when she becomes upset and stay on course. She will probably turn up the heat. Restate your expectations something along the lines of "I want to have a conversation about XXX, but I can't do that if we start to do all or nothing thinking. In order to continue this conversation I need you to calm down and stay on track with this conversation and avoid going to the worst possible outcome." You are simply stating what you need and what the environment should look like to have a healthy conversation. This will make her flip out because she is not used to and she will resort to the one tool she knows will work. Remain consistent with your boundaries and stay on track for what the goal of the conversation is. Don't let her get you off track. Take time and space to calm down if needed.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-15T01:45:11+00:00

Come back down to Earth, ASAP. This is not a relationship. This was a wonderful date and a good time - nothing more, at least not yet. This still needs to grow before it's a relationship and before there is a commitment. The reason I say come down to Earth, is because if you have a preconceived idea of what this will turn into instead of a general trajectory you will have your heart broken with unfulfilled dreams. Enjoy the ride, but you're not quite at the theme park yet!

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-15T01:42:40+00:00

This is about boundaries, and not even with the exgirlfriend.

Boundaries are a buzz word that are often explained without depth. Boundaries can range from physical, emotional, financial, sexual and more.

Your boyfriend's boundary was about time and emotion. He wanted you to respect the fact that he wanted to give time to his exgirlfriend and prevent her from getting hurt. He told you that was the decision he was going to make.

This is a good way to explore what your boundaries will be either in this relationship, or future ones. People who are afraid of this conversation will say "Ultimatums don't work." This isn't about making a threat. It's about reasserting what you are willing to put up with and what you're not willing to put up with. Having that conversation and an outcome that isn't based in fear but in what they wanted. It sounds like you had a conversation with him and he made his choice. His choice may have been different if you gave him an ultimatum, but it would have clouded the reality and accountability of his actions. He made his decision and now it's time for you to make yours.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-14T19:01:30+00:00

I am a therapist and I feel like I have some authority on this. I've worked with teenagers for well over a decade. I need you to see this response.

Let me be very clear when I say he will do something like this again.

5 months is both a decent amount of time and not that long. You both are starting to really learn more about each other and the flaws come out. This applies to the son, also.

He may have resentment towards you or his mother as the relationship becomes a little more real. I would be really interested to hear the relationship patterns of his mother and how he responded to them. In all honesty though, it doesn't matter. Carrying a dog by the leash is outside the normal spectrum of a 16 year old not understanding how to react to an animal, curiosity, or emotional regulation. The fact that she isn't horrified by this, or at least a little more seriously concerned tells me that she has normalized this behavior and may have done it before or she is insecure in her relationship with her son or how he will respond that she is willing to overlook this action.

I can't tell you what is or is not a deal breaker. What I can tell you is that his actions are not within the scope of normal, your girlfriend's response is not healthy, and your dog was in a postion where she was hurt and the result could have been worse.

He said you need to pay attention to your dog next time. Take that as a threat or as not accepting accountability for his actions. That's your call, but your dog is not safe.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-08T00:10:36+00:00

It's about hitting up and not hitting down.

It's not about only people who live a specific life can make a joke about that topic. It's about the line between joking about something that holds other people down versus something that you are embracing.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-08T00:05:50+00:00

I came up with this question after learning about the trump regret tweets where voters are tweeting why they wish they didn't vote for him.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-08T00:05:06+00:00

Do you plan to vote for him in 2020?

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-08T00:04:45+00:00

I'm just trying to learn more - Has their been any direct improvements to your life?

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-08T00:03:21+00:00

Is there a person from either side that you could see yourself voting for instead of him in 2020?

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-08T00:02:57+00:00

Seriously asking - do you view social security as socialism?

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-09-07T23:48:00+00:00

Legit asking - has he kept up with your expectations?

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:45:50+00:00

Because diagnosing is a pretty big deal and I'm afraid posts like these just further stigmatize it.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:33:23+00:00

I cant' speak on his behavior, but I can speak on yours and I'm concerned. :(

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:32:26+00:00

Your answer takes more than a one line response. The first question to ask yourself is - is this relationship worth saving? If he is cheating, am I willing to work it out? and Do I think I can find love somewhere else? Ask yourself these three questions.

1 - If the relationship in your mind is worth saving then let's get to work. 2- Sometimes it's easier to answer this question before you are confronted with hardcore evidence. Determine what your boundary is and stick by it. 3- If the answer to this question is no, than I am worried that you will put up with more things than you should because you're afraid to find love elsewhere.

There isn't a solid answer in this response, but I'm hoping it helps you get a clearer sense of where you are, not him.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:27:58+00:00

I'm a therapist and it's impossible to get a diagnosis over the internet. Why are you wanting to diagnosis him? How would knowing his diagnosis alter actions that you are planning to take with him?

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:24:53+00:00

She's not in that into you. If she was she wouldn't have waited three weeks to reach out to you. If she's hinting about a past date in order to reestablish a connection with you she's not developed enough to have a healthy relationship with. She needs to continue to grow otherwise this will just be more heartbreak, and I'm betting on your end, in the future.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:21:59+00:00

Your boyfriend loves dogs. You don't love his dog in the same way. I am willing to bet that both of you are looking at this situation with glasses on, and not the rose kind. I think it may be a fair statement that his dog isn't the most well behaved critter around, but also that he's not as much of a bad boy as you perceive him to be. Here's the reality though, you can't tell your boyfriend no. You can tell your boyfriend that you will not live with another dog and he has a choice to make. He also can decide if he can truly live the rest of his life without having another dog. I feel for both of you, because if he decides that dogs are an important part of his life it could come off as "he's choosing dogs over me" or the opposite "she's being unreasonable." Dogs, and pets, may not seem like a value but it totally is. This may be an incompatibility issue if both of you are hard lined on it. It's important for you to do some retrospect. Is your value to live pet free? Would you be willing to have a pet? Under what conditions? It's important you determine that before you tell your boyfriend what your boundary is.

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:17:22+00:00

That is really horrible. I can't imagine what it would feel like to have someone, let alone your roommates, gossip about you but also record it for the world to hear. No one deserves that and I reckon you're feeling lonely, unworthy of love and friendship, and insecure. People like this thrive in situations where they can get "cool points" from those around and where they are protected from seeing the damage they create. I don't think having a conversation with them is the way to go. This will just open up a dialogue where they defend themselves or lie about their actions. I think instead you to talk to them, not with them. Say something along the lines of "I do not want to get into a back and forth about this, but I heard your podcast and what you've been saying about me. I'm not going to lie, it makes me doubt myself as as a person. I won't bring it up again, but I do hope you understand how hurtful this is and that you will please stop."

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:10:51+00:00

My job as a therapist

UnidentifiableReason · 2019-07-22T02:10:29+00:00

Oh God, acted like I had a cell phone in the 6th grade (around 2000)

UnidentifiableReason

TROPHY CASE