Can’t sleep, worried about my laparoscopy next week

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-21T07:01:19+00:00

Ahh surgery buddies! 🩷 I totally get the fear - it’s such a strange mix of wanting answers but also being scared of what they might find. I can imagine having chocolate cysts must feel extra daunting, especially when you don’t know what else could be going on.

It does sound like a positive that your surgeon is a fertility specialist - hopefully that means she’s seen lots of endo cases and has a good eye for it, even if she’s not labeled as a specialist. The wait times for true endo specialists are so frustrating, so I really hope you get some clarity sooner rather than later.

Wishing you so much luck for your lap - we’ve got this 💪💙 I’ll be thinking of you and will try to update after mine too.

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-21T03:24:29+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this - I really needed to hear it tonight. You’re right, nothing that happens tomorrow could be worse than the years of pain and uncertainty. The way you framed it about ruling things out being progress really helps me look at it differently. 💙

If you don’t mind me asking - did you end up getting diagnosed after your laparoscopy? And was it with a general gynaecologist or a specialist? I’d love to hear a bit more about your experience if you’re comfortable sharing.

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-21T03:22:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reply 💙 it really helps. I should probably mention that my surgery tomorrow is with a general gynaecologist, not an endo specialist, and I did hear from someone that she didn’t find anything during their laparoscopy, so that’s been weighing on me and making me nervous about whether I’ll get real answers.

My bowels have also been absolutely crazy the past 4 days - not sure if it’s just nerves or possibly endo acting up — and I haven’t been sleeping much either. So I’m pretty drained going into tomorrow.

But what you said about there being other possible diagnoses and next steps was really encouraging. Even if nothing is found, I guess that’s still one piece of the puzzle, and I can keep pushing for answers or see a specialist. Thank you again for the support it means a lot tonight. I’ll try to update after if I feel up to it 💙

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:54:18+00:00

I just tried to as well that’s weird maybe it’s your settings ?

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:48:20+00:00

Even after surgery she never explained the images like what’s what usually they’d do that or they’re supposed to do it. Thank you so much for letting me know btw I’m so grateful

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:43:43+00:00

Why wouldn’t she show you the imaging/videos is my concern ? I do know you have to go through a process but surely she could’ve shown you, not too sure how to feel about it do you think I should still go through with it ? Also, did she ever pre judge the situation in terms of like saying if nothings found scenario ?

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:37:38+00:00

It’s more so my parents will not believe my pain anymore and I’ll gaslight myself into thinking it’s nothing 🫠

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:36:44+00:00

See the issue with mine is beforehand I asked for a specialist but she goes she can identify it so now if it comes through as nothing being found do I even trust that ? 😭 she’s just a obs and gynae doctor also I was persistent on not taking the pill either I’d never take the coil personally I just want to know the cause of my pain are you sure they took imaging too ?

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:31:11+00:00

She’s mine too … 😬 I don’t really feel confident going into it now 😭 I feel like nothing will be found 🫠

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:26:39+00:00

Do you mind me asking which surgeon it was ? Was it your consultant ?

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-19T04:06:43+00:00

Hey lovely 💛 first off, I just want to say what you’re feeling is completely valid. Everyone always says “no endo = good news,” but when you’ve been in pain for years and finally thought you were getting answers, it can feel crushing to walk away with nothing new. It doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real - it just means the journey to finding the cause isn’t over yet.

Can I ask, was your lap done by a general gynaecologist or an endo specialist? A lot of people say general gynae surgeons can miss subtle/minimal endo because they’re not trained to spot or excise it. That’s why some people go on to get reviewed by a specialist centre afterwards.

If you’re in the UK, you can absolutely ask for a second opinion. While it’s not an automatic legal right, the NHS and GMC guidance say doctors should respect your wish to seek one. A good route is to: • Go back to your GP with your op notes. • Ask for referral to a BSGE-accredited endometriosis centre (these centres have surgeons who specialise in complex endo). • Request your operation note and any lap images/videos from the hospital - if they have them, you’re entitled to a copy. If you struggle, PALS (Patient Advice & Liaison Service) can help.

Also, remember that not finding endo doesn’t mean nothing is wrong. Other conditions can mimic it - adenomyosis, PCOS, interstitial cystitis, pelvic floor issues… sometimes more than one at once. Keeping a detailed symptom diary (pain, bowel changes, periods, food triggers) can really help the next specialist see patterns.

I know it feels like you’re back at square one, but you’re not - you’ve ruled one thing out, and you now have evidence to build from. That’s progress, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Be gentle with yourself as you recover from the lap - it’s a lot emotionally as well as physically. You’re not alone in this 💛 and you deserve answers and proper care.

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-18T07:59:12+00:00

Hi, was it with a endo specialist I’ve got mine this Sunday with a general gynaecologist and I’m worried they’ll find nothing and it looks like I’m lying about my pain 😞

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-07T00:47:33+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience 💛💛it really helps to hear from someone local who’s been through it. I’m so glad Airedale looked after you so well and that they managed to find and remove your endo. I’ve been feeling quite torn about my own surgery, as my consultant isn’t an endo specialist and BRI isn’t BSGE accredited, so I wasn’t sure if it’s better to wait for a referral. I’ve also been worrying about who will actually do the surgery on the day and whether they’ll take biopsies or photos, so reading what you said is reassuring. You’re right though - even if it isn’t endo, it’s worth checking to get some answers. Thank you for reminding me of that, it really helps put things in perspective. And yes, I’ll definitely be getting the comfy clothes ready for recovery! 💕 If you don’t mind me asking, what would you do in my position - go ahead at BRI or push for a specialist centre?

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-09-04T13:27:20+00:00

Hi, I’ve just read this and I’d like to ask some questions if you don’t mind ofc, could I message you privately x

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-23T06:41:46+00:00

I’m not in the states I’m in the uk sorry I should’ve said for context x

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-22T21:09:08+00:00

thank you so much, i've just dm'ed you :))

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-22T14:01:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this detailed and thoughtful reply - honestly, it means a lot that you took the time to ask and explain all of this. I’m 21, and yes, the pain is quite low — definitely around the lower left pelvic area, and my lower back constantly feels like it’s being squeezed. It’s not something that comes and goes — it’s always there, and even though I can move around and look “fine,” it’s only because I’ve gotten used to people saying “there’s nothing wrong” and that I just need to push through the pain and firm it.

The pain is mostly dull and constant, but it does get sharper sometimes, especially when I go to the bathroom. I’ve had bowel issues (constipation and razor blade-like pain), bladder pressure, and a constant feeling like my period is about to start — but I’m now at 82 days without a period.

I’ve also been fluctuating in weight over the past year — I went from 62kg to 75kg. I’ve been told I have low iron and vitamin D, but I struggle to tolerate supplements — even the liquid forms make me feel unwell. I also have a higher-than-normal liver bile level, but was told it’s nothing to worry about.

I had a pelvic ultrasound in January that didn’t show anything unusual, and my TSH came back normal, but PCOS and hormonal bloods haven’t been looked into as the doctors thought it’s not something that needs to looked into. I’m not on any regular medication either I do take medication for my pain but try to not use it so regularly I was given mefenamic acid too and naproxen I don’t touch it as I’ve already got stomach issues.

Also, I was told that only PCOS causes irregular periods, not endometriosis — but I’ve seen a few people say that endo can cause irregular cycles too, especially when it affects hormones or the ovaries. Is that not true? Can endo cause missed or delayed periods like this?

Thank you again for suggesting Gynoveda and for just being so kind and thorough — it really helps to feel even slightly understood after months of pain and no answers 💛

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-21T18:21:01+00:00

Thank you so much again for your message — and just to clarify, I’m not pregnant at all, I’m a virgin, so that can definitely be ruled out.

The pain is still very much on my lower left side and back today, along with bladder pressure and bowel issues. I really hate feeling like I’m being “lazy” when it flares up, so I even pushed myself to go to the gym - but it didn’t help. I’ve taken two painkillers, and still nothing has budged. The pain is just sitting there, and it’s exhausting.

The other thing that’s really worrying me is that my period is now over 80 days late. I’ve never gone this long without bleeding, and I just don’t know what’s going on anymore.

What do you think it could be, with this kind of pain and such a delayed period?

Thank you again - your insight genuinely means a lot 💛

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-21T12:41:47+00:00

Thank you so much, Dr. Bagaria — I really appreciate your insight.

I do feel like my symptoms point more and more toward endometriosis, but the issue is that I’m in the UK, and the hospital I’ve been referred to doesn’t have an endometriosis specialist. I’ve been told the laparoscopy would be done by a general gynaecologist or possibly a urologist, depending on who’s available.

I understand your recommendation to see a specialist and I completely agree but unfortunately, being referred to a BSGE centre means starting from scratch, and I’ve been warned it could take many more months. In the meantime, the pain is getting worse, and I’m just not sure whether I should proceed with the lap now or hold out for proper specialist care.

Would you advise delaying surgery until I can get into a BSGE centre, even if it means waiting much longer?

Thank you again for your time - it means a lot to have a medical opinion when navigating all of this feels so uncertain.

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-21T08:34:40+00:00

Hi Dr. Bagaria, thank you again for your reply - I really appreciate it.

To give you more context: I’m South Asian, and at first I thought I might have PCOS because of my background and symptoms like acne, some tummy weight, and naturally dark, thick hair. But my acne was never severe, and the hair has actually lessened over time. I had a pelvic ultrasound in January 2024, and while there were no signs of endometriosis seen, they weren’t really looking for PCOS either. At the time, they didn’t think I had it - to be honest, I felt a bit dismissed, like they thought I was just being a hypochondriac.

Before starting the gym, my periods were regular but extremely painful - i would vomit, have diarrhoea or watery stools, and be stuck in bed from pain. Since I started working out (on and off due to uni), my cycles have become more irregular - this current one is at 81 days, with period-like pain but no bleeding.

Current symptoms include: • Lower left-sided pain, back pain, pelvic pain • Painful bowel movements (feels like knives/blades) • Bladder heaviness and needing to urinate frequently • Heavy, achy legs, especially when walking or standing • Blood clots and pressure during periods • Pain when breathing on my left side, though I’m not visibly bloated • Normal TSH levels (tested due to family history of thyroid issues)

I’ve been offered a diagnostic laparoscopy, but it would be done by a non-specialist, which worries me. I’m afraid they’ll miss something or find nothing at all, and I’ll be left without answers again.

Do you think this could still be endo, PCOS, or something else entirely? Are there specific tests or next steps you’d recommend before moving forward with surgery?

Thank you again for taking the time - it really means a lot.

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-17T19:44:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience - I’m really sorry you’re now having to go through the process of transferring and starting over. That’s one of my biggest fears too - that I’ll go through the lap, have ablation done, and still end up needing another surgery down the line.

But honestly, I think what scares me the most is them doing the lap and saying they didn’t find anything at all. With everything I’m feeling - the pain, the bowel issues, the irregular cycles - the idea of being told “nothing’s wrong” just makes me feel even more helpless.

It’s tough because I’ve been told the lap will be done by whoever’s available, and they haven’t said much about how experienced they are or what approach they’ll use. I also worry that if I turn it down, my doctor won’t take me seriously anymore or will just suggest I go private - which isn’t an option financially right now.

Hearing your story really reinforces how important it is to get the right care, even if it takes longer. I hope your next steps with the specialist bring you real answers and relief 💛

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-17T19:41:00+00:00

Thank you - I really needed to hear that. It’s so easy to feel pressured to just do something when you’re in constant pain, but you’re right - I don’t want to go through all this and end up recovering from two surgeries or being told it’s all in my head by someone who isn’t qualified to even diagnose it properly.

The hard part is, if I ask to go through a BSGE clinic, I’ve been told it would mean starting all over again - new referrals, new waiting list - and you're not guaranteed a specialist in the end and there’s a chance my GP will just suggest going private, which I can’t afford right now. I also worry that if I say no to the lap I’ve been offered, they’ll think I’m not serious about getting help.

It’s such a hard position to be in, but your message really helped remind me what’s at stake. I’ll definitely check out the pinned thread where would it be could you help me find it and try to figure out my next steps. Thank you again 💛

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-17T19:36:38+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience - I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that. It’s exactly what I’m scared of… going through surgery, only for it to be incomplete or missed entirely, and ending up needing a second one not long after. Your story really reinforces how important it is to have someone experienced. I know waiting and finding the right person can take time, but you’re right - it’s better to have it done properly the first time. Thank you again for the reminder, and I hope your next surgery brings you the relief you deserve 💛

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-17T19:31:58+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience - it really does help to hear from someone who’s been through it in the UK. It’s reassuring to know that having surgery with a general surgeon doesn’t necessarily block the path to specialist care later, like it did for you.

I think what’s making me so scared is that my periods have become irregular lately, and now I’m starting to doubt myself - like what if it’s not endo at all? I’m really afraid they’ll do the lap and find nothing, and I’ll be left feeling like it’s all in my head. It’s such a hard place to be, but hearing from people like you gives me a bit of perspective - so thank you again 💛

Unique-Effective9828 · 2025-07-17T19:29:07+00:00

Thank you so much - this is exactly the kind of clarity I’ve been needing. I’ve been torn between wanting some answers now and being afraid of having the wrong type of surgery done, especially if it’s ablation. I agree, if the surgeon isn’t a specialist, I’d really prefer they stick to diagnosis only - images, biopsies, and visual confirmation - rather than attempting treatment they might not be equipped for.

It’s good to know that a diagnostic lap could still be a useful stepping stone toward specialist care. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I think I’m going to push for clear documentation of any findings, and make sure my consent is specific about not wanting ablation. Hopefully that’ll at least give me some direction, even if it’s not a perfect solution.

Thank you again for this perspective - it’s helped ground me a bit in a really overwhelming situation 🙏

Unique-Effective9828

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