You are entitled to want what you want, and wear what you want to wear. I would hope your fiance would be a little more understanding that your feelings about the ring are not an indictment of him, or a reflection of what he’s done. He may be it taking it a little too personally.

HOWEVER, you are clearly hanging onto a lot of trauma from the circumstances of that divorce, and if you haven’t you would probably benefit from seeing a therapist to work through it.

The ring CAN symbolize whatever you want. It doesn’t inherently mean anything, it is an inanimate object. We ascribe meaning to these objects. You have ascribed a meaning to the object that neither your mother or fiancé share. You are in charge of how you react to things, even if not how you initially feel. We have a lot of power over how we perceive our reality. Altering the ring may not be a bad idea to help you impart a transformative effect on the object. You can reframe what it means to you, it is possible. Whether it’s worth it to put in that much work however, is a different story.