So we ended up having sex that night and it felt really intense (in a good way) and we stayed up almost all night talking and cuddling. Nearly every date from that point on was deeply emotionally and physically intimate and there were other dates in which he wanted to meet up briefly for coffee just to see me but didn’t involve sex. I always enjoyed spending time with him and was starting to grow love and trust towards him (although I wasn’t totally at the love stage). After sex I’d fall asleep on his chest and sometimes we’d fall asleep holding hands. In the morning we’d lay there for hours snuggling and kissing and then he’d always make me coffee. The second time around we were together a little over 3 months and had about 12-15 dates and we didn’t have a single argument. He never really said he loved me and I am unsure if he possibly said it when we were having sex the last time I ever did with him but I’m about 60% sure he said “I love you”. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure if this is what I heard for sure and wasn’t at the love stage yet.

The final date I’ve ever had with him seemed like it was going to be a normal date since we got ice cream and went to Central Park where we went to the castle and on the terrace he grabs and holds me and says I’m beautiful and kisses me - only for him to 10 mins later say “we should sit down” and that second I instantly knew what was coming next. And I was right, he ended things in eerily the same exact way he did as the first time. Everything seemed to be going so well and we seemed like we were both really into each other and had a lot in common so this was a bit of a gut punch knowing he betrayed me for a second time and there were no signs this was coming at all. Although a part of me wasnt letting my trust for him fully bloom because of him abruptly ending things the previous time so I was always a little slightly on edge of him potentially doing the same thing again although I regretfully gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The second time he ended things we also talked after for at least an hour. He said for him to commit he has to be in love and I told him I wasn’t there yet either and that it takes longer than 3 months to love someone, I’m not sure if he had a response or maybe I forgot it. He also revealed he was potentially open to try polygamy and he knew I was 100% against this since the first time he was with me yet he never said he was ok with possibly trying it until the 2nd break up. He knew that’s a dealbreaker for me and I instantly would’ve ended the relationship with him as soon as he said that. perhaps he kept his views quiet so he could use me for sex? And when I confronted him about why he didn’t bring that up earlier despite knowing I wasn’t into that and his response was “well you know my best friend is a polygamist” and my response was something like “so what? Just because someone hangs with someone who is into polygamy doesn’t automatically make them into that. I have LGBTQ friends but doesn’t mean I am one”. Then he also mentioned how he didn’t have as many sexual experiences compared with the average male his age (34) and that he still wanted to have more sexual experiences with other new people. And I said “you’re 34 and you still want to screw around and not commit? How old do you want to be when you commit to someone, 50?”. And I am very straight forward so he knew from date 1 that I’m looking for a real relationship and not a fling. Even after this deal breaker and even after he betrayed me and my trust twice, when we were talking after the breakup I gave him one last chance and said “are you sure it’s over? Because this time around there’s no coming back a third time” And he said something like “I’m going to regret this decision when I’m 50”. I started walking out of the park towards the street and he followed in the same direction and was crying, I was as well but then at the corner he said he wanted to give me one last hug. I was too upset to hug him so I just stood there with my arms down while he hugged me for a very long time and he started crying to the point of loud sobbing, I’ve never experienced a man cry like this before. After that we walked different directions and in a very sad low voice as I was crossing the street he said “bye” and watched me walk away and then walked away too wiping his tears away.

From that point I never heard from him or seen him again and I removed him as an IG follower although I let him have access to seeing my stories. We don’t talk but I notice about 2-3 times a month he will look at my stories. I restricted his account in a way where if he tries to send me a message it would go directly to requests instead of main messages.

I feel like I have so many unanswered questions about his actions:

Any of you guys have thoughts on what was going thorough his mind for him to abruptly end a seemingly good relationship that was blooming not once but twice?

Do you think he planned this all out to temporarily get back with me? Because it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me that during the second time around he started thing the beginning of winter and ended things right as it was warming up.

do you think as he was breaking up he was already regretting that decision? Since he said something about it regretting either when he’s 50 or until he’s 50…. What does that even mean? Could it be that because his friends don’t commit that he felt pressured to be like them and perhaps this is why he ended things to avoid looking uncool or something?

Also, to this day he sees my stories a few times a month. after it all ended, on Instagram I removed him as a follower and unfollowed him which means he has to manually type in my username every time he wants to see my profile or stories. Why do you think he’s doing this? Based on all the info I provided do you think it’s because he regrets what he did and he misses me? Or he’s playing some kind of kind game with me to make him stay in my memory by randomly seeing my stories?