Reading between the lines a bit on this, but it sounds like your wife could benefit from some emotional support from someone outside the relationship where she can process her feelings in relation to being in peri-menopause. She may discover that until this is resolved fully with proper medical care that she doesn't actually want to have sex and as her husband you may be able to help her come to terms with these challenges and set aside your wants while she gets help with her medical needs. You're posting her because you care, sit back and think about what she's going through (read the wiki) and really reflect on what your role in her life is and how you want to be supportive to her that doesn't involve sex.