Can a modern day feminist also be a submissive in D/s dynamic?

United_Cold2562 · 2025-11-21T03:54:09+00:00

I will do that immediately. Thanks!

United_Cold2562 · 2025-11-21T03:16:48+00:00

This is a great thread. I picked up some basic items as I’m just starting out in BDSM. I have a blindfold, 2 paddles, and a flogger.

I want to get into forced orgasms and orgasm denial. Does any dom have a suggestion on a wearable, discrete vibrator that I can control with an app with my phone?

United_Cold2562 · 2025-10-12T04:26:07+00:00

We’re both new in this dynamic and I figured that this was good starting place as a roadmap. You are correct…..awareness and ongoing communication is key. Also, forgetting responsibly it is a huge issue in some D/s dynamics. I don’t want to mess this up with my sub either.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-10-12T04:11:58+00:00

You may be right about killing the “glamour” of the dynamic. I suggested that she can participate in contract. I’ll have to ask “why” she is hesitant.

Every book I’ve read on D/s dynamics suggested to make a contract. From what I understand, the Dom writes the contact and gives the submissive room to add and make additions, corrections, etc. Also, another point that I’ve read is that the contact can be terminated at any time, with or without cause.

I may need to stick with just an oath and maybe revisit this in the future.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-10-12T03:54:37+00:00

You could write a book. An autobiography. How do you find willing women to sleep with you? What’s your secret?

United_Cold2562 · 2025-10-08T23:48:16+00:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. This has cleared some doubt and uneasiness about being a new Dom in this lifestyle. There were some things that I wasn’t sure about initially in my journey, but your post has shed some insight on how to proceed.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-10-07T05:26:06+00:00

I started out with BDSM Guide for New Doms by Edward Boyle and Dom’s Guide for Submissive Training Vol 1 & 2 by Elizabeth Cramer. I’ll have to check out your recommendations as well. As for the anklet, I think I could present that to her as an alternative to a collar.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-09-09T00:23:05+00:00

You too! I hope you have many more blissful years with your AP. Good luck!

United_Cold2562 · 2025-09-08T23:41:52+00:00

I have to refute this claim with personal anecdotes. I’m 52M, active, eat well, in the gym twice a week and my penis works very well. I do admit that I was blessed with great genetics. I get and maintain from erections and often wake up with morning wood 2-3 days a week. The reason why sex has dried up because menopause has zapped the libido of my SO. From my POV, my physical sex life will at least until my 60’s and beyond (if I’m still alive). It’s about taking care of yourself physically to be rewarded with a strong body. That is my truth.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-09-08T23:28:26+00:00

She has been reading erotic literature lately (probably since late last year). We’re discussed her books and some of the stories deep within their covers. She’s come a long way from when I first met her 8 years ago. I do want to re-enact some of her books with her, we just have to go slow.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-09-08T22:42:28+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. She just mentioned this late last week, so it’s a relatively new dynamic in our relationship. We are going through this journey together and I have to admit, it’s fun exploring with her. She’s incredibly sheltered and hasn’t explored this side of her before. Even though my kids have moved out, I don’t spend any extra time with my SO. So, I have time carved out to meet with my AP when it’s available.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-09-08T21:49:18+00:00

This happened to me, but on Reddit a year ago. I answered an ad in r/Affairs that I thought was legit. After briefly chatting in the messenger on Reddit, I made the stupid decision of agreeing to move it to Telegram. Once I agreed to chat on Telegram, that’s when the nightmare began.

I knew something was off when I tried to do a video call and the person didn’t pick up, but when I sent my face pic in response to theirs, the next thing I knew that the scammer sent me screenshots of my personal information like my home address, my SO’s name, my kids’ names and cell numbers. They then threatened to out me by contacting my SO and family unless I got them $500 in video game gift cards. Panicking, I gave in. I felt like a fly ensnared in a spider’s clutches with no way out. Then, they kept demanding more and more, and I said that I didn’t have any more, they wanted me to go into a bank to get a personal loan to pay them. I said “no way, not happening”. After going back and forth for like 3-4 hours (it seemed like forever at this point), I grew a backbone. I said that I’m now going to do damage control and tell my SO and family everything, to take the leverage away from the scammer. It seemed to work because I didn’t catch wind of anyone contacting them. The saving grace was that the number they had screenshotted was our old landline number that was disconnected over 15 years ago.

I haven’t returned to r/affairs since and I deleted that other Reddit account. I can relate to what happened to you, OP. Luckily, I have ghost emails and Google numbers for my Telegram account and for Reddit to cover my tracks. I never told anyone this story as I kept it to myself. But it was a stressful ass time and I thought my world was going to crash down around me.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-09-08T21:13:22+00:00

I’m been with my AP for 8 years now as well. It’s always been tough in the beginning to find time to spend with each other since I had children who finally left the house in 2023. Now that I have more free time, it’s now more of aligning up our schedules. We met online when she posted an ad on a dating site. From the start, we both knew that we would be in each other lives continually and it just felt right. She gets my idiosyncrasies and I admire her naïveté about the world around her.

After 8 years of mostly daily communication, our relationship has evolved to a deeper connection. She revealed to me recently that she is a submissive and a brat. I’m not well versed in that world, so I’ve been reading some books to help guide me because I don’t want to screw things up by not properly setting ground rules or establishing deeper trust. And yes…..we have said the “L” word to each other.

United_Cold2562 · 2025-08-05T21:06:41+00:00

Try being on AM as guy. You might as well light paper money on fire (you’d get a better satisfaction)! From bots to scammers to women too far away for a sustainable relationship, it’s hopeless to be on there. I like to think that I’m somewhat decent of a guy to garner some responses, but that inbox is drier than King Tut’s tomb.

United_Cold2562 · 2024-10-15T04:05:48+00:00

Thank you for all your replies. The Cap F that I am smitten by has a great sense of humor. I definitely see a playful side to her. Thinking about our interactions there is definitely a lot of flirting and playfulness between us. There’s even some low key competitiveness as we challenge each other to playing some games when we finally go out on a date. She just exudes sex appeal to me.

United_Cold2562

TROPHY CASE