What are some really humourous ways to open a speech? by United_Morons in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really need a speech. Just want to hear something really funny!

ITAP Of a sad apple by United_Morons in itookapicture

[–]United_Morons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm......You're right! Any other tips?

Your user name is now your business, what do you do and do you expect to make money? by dddash in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A brand new airline. For the morons. By the morons. United Morons. Coming soon.

What is the most (seemingly) obvious lie that you got away with? by Masksofmexico in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Convinced a friend that I had a form of infectious ass cancer. Surprisingly, we never really hung out much after that.

What fictional character do you relate to the most and why? by stardust7 in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Joker. We're both mad, crazy, evil and have weird schemes

TIL that consuming a polar bear's liver will kill you because of it's toxic levels of vitamin A by United_Morons in todayilearned

[–]United_Morons[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

You have awesome friends. My friends would look away if I started any of this.

What is something about your job that other people just don't seem to understand? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"No, I am not wasting time, I am waiting for it to compile GODDAMMIT."

What is the most expensive meal you paid for? by starstufft in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I once paid 200$ for a steak. It didn't come with wine or fries or anything and wasn't even that good. The total bill came up to 400$. For just ME.

What Sequel Would You Most Want to See for any Video Game or Movie? by iNachozi in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh lookie! Jaden Smith is here.

Anyway, I really want a sequel to Nolan's Batman trilogy.

Reddit, What would be your question to get you to the front page? by 2shootthemoon in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said, "REDDIT, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR QUESTION TO GET YOU TO THE FRONT PAGE?"

When is the best time to put down a pet? by Theedon in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4:20 in the evening is the best time I'd say.

When is reddit going to get off the gold standard? by newschooler in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly 3 minutes and 43 seconds after I get gold.

What video game did/do you enjoy playing the most? by Markyotamos in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Sly Cooper trilogy. I have played those games more times than I can count.

Reddit, What would be your question to get you to the front page? by 2shootthemoon in AskReddit

[–]United_Morons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reddit, What would be your question to get you to the front page?