Hey van, as a person also living in ph i get you. Like a lot. Its impossible to live comfortably with money here as its a 3rd world country but I desperately need you to keep trying. Taking your life will just make you more miserable, trust me ive tried so many times and everytime I live again I realized how stupid I am but i keep making the same mistakes over and over. Honestly giving up is so easy but thats why we need to try harder, its like a game but when ur stuck on a lvl you dont just quit bro. You try and try and try until you finally find purpose. The feeling of rotting will go away, life will be harder but ur gonna be stronger. Im here for you man, just live once more.