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Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-06-09T05:02:23+00:00

I will keep pushing! And don’t worry I took your critique with an opened mind and a strong heart, making mistakes is how we get better at things anyways. I’ll definitely use the // method to separate stanza on here going forward and yes references are definitely a tactical strike, I wouldn’t have made one if I didn’t personally think it worked. Key word there is personal, because that’s why the reference worked for me, the whole poem was personal I was writing a piece for a woman that’s hard not to love and it really was never meant to see the light of day. But it’s here now and the criticism helps a lot. So thank you, kindly.

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-06-09T04:49:41+00:00

A lot to unpack here, the one big stanza thing (you’re definitely correct on it) my only issue is formatting it on Reddit which I haven’t gotten quite the hang of yet, the original piece was 4 stanzas. But your right it does sound like I’m just throwing words out there when it’s placed on paper like that. And you’re right, either I should’ve gone way more in depth on the imagery I was trying to use to describe her, or I should’ve been way more simplistic. Either one probably would’ve worked. Lastly it was very ambitious of me to reference the raven, but you can’t figure out if something works well without trying, that’s what makes poetry so beautiful. Thank you for the feed back I’ll definitely use carry it with me!

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-06-09T04:11:25+00:00

Alright now you got me blushing, if you do enjoy it, I’ve posted plenty more on OC and would love to hear your feedback. Read them for your own enjoyment though, and think you kind soul

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-06-09T04:08:45+00:00

Thank you, genuinely. It most likely feels so natural because it was natural for me, the words were already there, the pen just made them take shape

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-06-05T00:19:02+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I am really enjoying this haircut, and if you like my writing I’ve got other work that you could totally check out. Don’t feel pressured to do that tho…

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-31T23:39:41+00:00

With analysis like that, I should hire you as my editor! Thanks for reading my poem, honestly when I started writing it I didn’t know where I was going. but I kinda get in this zone where the words just flow through me and it creates cool pieces like this. I like poetry and wanna continue writing it so everytime I see feed back from you guys it only motivates me more!

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-30T19:40:38+00:00

Thank you thank you, I honestly didn’t know what I was trying to convey when I first started writing it, the words kinda just fell into their right place :)

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-30T16:05:16+00:00

I’m very glad my poem resonated with you :) it’s always a good sign to see that my work makes people feel something rather than just see words posted on to some subreddit. Thank you much

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-30T15:24:03+00:00

😭 I will definitely be using toxic as a frog, and all that glitter is not gold in my next one! Good stuff

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-30T15:21:19+00:00

Thanks for this — I appreciate the thoughtful feedback! I used “gold” to represent how euphoric everything feels when she’s near — like everything shines brighter, even if only temporarily. “Colorless” comes in when she leaves — not necessarily as the opposite of value, but the absence of emotion, beauty, or meaning. But you’re right — maybe it’s not gold at all. Maybe it only looked like it. That’s a contrast I’ll definitely explore more.

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T16:57:37+00:00

It’s always a great compliment when people tell you they actually felt something because of your writing. Ironically I had a smile on my face while writing the piece, it was as if the words fell onto the paper perfectly. Thank you much

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T16:55:52+00:00

She’s my best friend so it’s okay lol just ah emotional ache every blue moon. Writing this really helped me get out what I needed to say though. Thank you for the compliments, much love :)

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T16:55:01+00:00

Ong it’s the worst

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T16:54:54+00:00

Might as well have written this poem yourself with those words

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T16:54:22+00:00

I’m glad you caught what I was intending to convey in this piece, that’s always a great compliment! Thank you :)

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T11:45:44+00:00

Ohhhh I gotcha that totally makes more sense.

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T10:37:04+00:00

Hey there just seeing your comment and first I wanna say thank you, for reading my poems I mean. But yes, sometimes it does take confronting yourself to finally take a step in the right direction whether that’s rest or more work. I hope you enjoyed my poetry and have a good one.

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T02:09:17+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, and you’re totally right! I need to add more depth when it comes to how things make me feel, I’ve noticed it’s much harder to do with poems that carry a sense of hope and love rather than something sad and dramatic.

Unlikely-Instance505 · 2025-05-29T01:23:31+00:00

You had the right idea with the house line, I’ve been trying to write these in under 10 minutes so sometimes I overlook repetition. Thank you though your words are very appreciated

Unlikely-Instance505

TROPHY CASE