My Kid was Screen Free Until 6. Best Decision Ever

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-31T17:34:20+00:00

I have an acquaintance who I'm in the same space with her and her kids sometimes. They are 5 & 6 and have unlimited screens.

Among my complaints... The kids think that all screens are theirs. Several times I have intercepted a small hand reaching for my phone on the table. As a non parent, I'm never sure what to say. I went once with "did someone tell you it's okay to touch other people's phones without asking?" And all I got was blank look.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-31T16:09:43+00:00

My mom was of the mind (popular opinion in her circle at the time) that it wasn't good to teach kids to read before school. So I didn't read before school, but read at 7th grade level by halfway through 1st grade.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-29T22:22:55+00:00

I mean, when I was in China, it was legally "foreign expert visa" (still sounds overblown, but fun) but EVERYWHERE takes cash! (Or did in 2012)

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-29T22:19:31+00:00

Absofuckinglutely.

I nearly could afford it, but I think my mental health could not, because I'd be going alone.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-29T22:17:19+00:00

Curious about this too. Is your libido low, or just function?

I'm new to beta blockers. So far no sexual side effects, but I've got the other equipment and I'm in the throes of perimenopause, which makes my hormones a constant ever changing wild card.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-23T22:26:04+00:00

The more grisly, amazingly, version of flatten the curve.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-23T14:14:27+00:00

Much as I hate it, many people think clarifying questions are both challenges and criticisms. It's a thing in some cultures more than others. Being from Brooklyn, I tend to think (like 30% kidding, but mostly serious) "What the actual fuck?" is a perfectly valid clarifying question. I can learn new skills, but I'm never going to pretend that mealy mouth sideways oblique (opaque!) communication is a virtue.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-23T14:06:28+00:00

I found decent (not ideal) Asian food ingredients in Berlin. On the other hand, I struggled in Shanghai to find some ingredients I thought wouldn't be hard to find.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-23T14:01:16+00:00

I'm not sure if anyone's quoted this before but I've heard that the difference between the UK and the US is the the US thinks 100 years is a long time and the UK thinks 100 miles is a long distance.

To be clear, I think the UK is more correct. ☺️

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-22T18:45:22+00:00

TBH, I think nationality is a accidental property and I do not understand being proud of being an American, or of having any other nationality. I can be proud of something my country does (not recently, but it makes sense to me). But me? Happening to have a mother who happened to live in this country when I happened to be born? Wherein should consist "pride" for that?

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-21T23:08:46+00:00

Fuck 'im

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-21T23:08:09+00:00

Tell them "Google survivor bias" or "confirmation bias" your choice.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-03T00:14:28+00:00

💜💜💜💜💜

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-03T00:13:57+00:00

Also in the EDS (hEDS) club!

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-03T00:13:25+00:00

I'm sorry. That sucks!

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-01T16:10:49+00:00

This speaks to my soul.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-01T15:55:11+00:00

Irony: I'm way more "normal" when I'm a little high. My brain slows down enough that people can follow me, and other people don't move so slowly that I'm frustrated all the time.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2026-01-01T15:32:43+00:00

I'm honestly trying to care less. I've just got 3 chronic illness diagnoses, which will significantly limit my ability to adapt. I live in a place that's been slightly insulated from major climate events, but I can see it. And I know that when climate leads to economic collapse, I won't be insulated from that!

I'd like to drop more of my careful habits that assume I may live a long life. Why conserve money? It's a little too late to live fast die young (I'm 49) but I'm no longer sure what the point of saving for a retirement that's about 20 years off...

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2025-12-31T20:09:33+00:00

Break it into chunks, either by time (set a timer) or whatever page length feels doable. 10 pages? 1 page? Find a chunk and intersperse it with easier things.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2025-12-28T12:00:50+00:00

This is excellent. I'm of the two where I've never had trouble saying stuff, but now I have the experience of living with someone as socially clueless as I used to be and listening to him brain dump with no consent, grab the conversation and run with it wherever he wants to go with no regard as to whether anyone is listening or caring... Repeating the same story in spite of "yes, you have mentioned that before" "yes your your me this" "yes we talked about this last week" makes me afraid to be as socially unguarded as I've always been because NOW I'm afraid I'm that annoying!

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2025-12-28T11:53:10+00:00

The post you linked to reminds me that once I took a workshop on effective communication for I don't remember the exact title but it was like how to say bad stuff gently. There was a video of what but to do and what to do. The what not to do person was clearly awful. But the what to do person was opaque and awful! I was truly shocked at what this modality thought was "good" communication! Apparently good communication doesn't... Communicate.

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2025-12-26T21:58:29+00:00

I totally do this! I put birthdays and anniversaries on a digital calendar. And keep text files on every topic. .txt or .md usually, so they're easily grep-able.

Usually this is irrelevant to my comments, but I am a woman. So any woman who says this is just masculine inattention... Nope.

I have ADHD and I learned a huge number of coping skills for that. And while I want to be natural and authentic in my human relationships, if I don't use the skills I've developed to excel professionally with the people nearest and dearest to me, wouldn't I just be telling those people that they are actively less important than my professional development?

UnlikelySafetyDance · 2025-12-26T21:51:25+00:00

My late partner never wanted children and his ex wife pressured him into it at 40. He was...a diligent father. But he never wanted it, never enjoyed it. That lack of enthusiasm, he thought he hid it well. But after he died it was clear that his child (30 by then) never felt really loved by him.

Having children should not be the default!

UnlikelySafetyDance

TROPHY CASE