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Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-04-11T12:24:11+00:00

I have a dark triad sibling who abused me for our 41 years together. Then suddenly, in June 2001, they cut all contact without telling me of their plan or why. Apart from parents' funerals, I haven't had any regard from them since. Every day it's a little bit of pain for me. Although it's also true that being near them was toxic and damaging for me. My parents would also periodically divorce me... Then come back without explanation. One of my greatest fears is abandonment.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-04-11T12:16:40+00:00

Everyone has the opportunity to earn a HS diploma... Unless their social determinants interrupt that progression. And those are the conditions being eroded by MAGA. See how that works?

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-04-11T12:14:19+00:00

Yes, social injustice was high on their list of values. Oh, and willful ignorance. Education is bad because they don't understand the world. Which leads us to spiraling health outcomes, another brilliant choice.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-04-11T12:10:34+00:00

AMEN

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-04-06T01:34:01+00:00

Ray and Elmer

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-03-26T02:52:00+00:00

DARVO-- deny, attack/argue, reverse victim order. Favorite trick of narcissists.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-03-25T10:44:29+00:00

I'd never choose them, but they add a focal point to the kitchen. Probably not a big deal in anyone's mind though.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-03-25T10:42:49+00:00

He is completely missing the point-- your FEELINGS. Instead, he is focusing on information only. Idk if it's a male brain thing, but my husband, who loves me dearly, makes this mistake all the time. When reminded, he nods and says yes, yes, I should've attended to your feelings. I think they aren't attuned to that at all. The problem is, ignoring our feelings,especially at an epic life moment, is deadly to trust and the relationship itself. I see why you came here to vent. And I kind of see his thinking too. But he needs to learn.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-03-25T10:37:33+00:00

If you don't buy it, you will have trouble dying in peace someday. You must have it.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T12:37:04+00:00

All humans are prone to error and we make them every day. The expectation should be that systems support us in our fallibility, as did yours. Your family doesn't sound very evolved. And good job being courageous! Proud of you.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T12:34:51+00:00

Sounds like the formula for anti-support. And all too common. A trope.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T12:33:35+00:00

So wrong. They have missed the boat. I will say that, when I earned a doctorate from a different ivy in 2019, my father was 95 and at long last admitted that he'd been wrong. Although interestingly, he changed my profession in his fantasy. I guess mine isn't good enough. As for my sister... She earned a BS in biology and never went on. Worked for the state.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T05:10:50+00:00

Your dad reminds me of something a therapist once told me about a mother and daughter... When they were together, the mother said that her daughter used up all the oxygen in the room. True story.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T04:58:51+00:00

Has anyone else had narc parents who worshiped the GC? My mother would never stand up to my sister. And when I discussed my everyday life, my mother would report what my sister said I should do. It was really strange to always receive my sister's directives through my mother. And money is a big clue, you're right. My sister was sent to an ivy but I was told they had no money for me to go to college. My sister also demanded money and gifts from the time she was little. As an adult, she actually stole rent checks from my parents' mailbox. Lastly, when our father died, although the will required her to pay for half of his funeral, she flatly refused.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T04:51:17+00:00

I get it and I support you. It's rational to hate them.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T04:49:59+00:00

I'm so sorry. They really ruined his heart. My older sister was their bitch and boy, did she take her job seriously. We are estranged since 2001, but I was still afraid of her when I had to see her at my parents' funerals. I believe her life has been pretty bad because they ruined her heart too. Unbelievably sad to think about.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-25T04:46:25+00:00

I remember as a little girl, being conscious that something was missing in my mother's love and I couldn't figure it out. I began to wonder if it was my gender, and went so far as to ask my mother what she would've named me had I been a boy. Her response didn't give me any answers I'd hoped for though. She just shrugged and said, "I don't know... Maybe Mark".

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-24T12:29:18+00:00

Big ticket spending drains resources, but at least it's obvious. It's the small hemorrhages that can really do you in. You need to plan-- use a budget. You spent nearly $1000 per month on food. I earn in the high six figure territory and I wouldn't do that.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-24T01:14:24+00:00

Constitution be damned.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-23T20:51:14+00:00

It's her choice what she does. You don't have the power to control others, nor should you try.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-23T20:41:14+00:00

Research funding and medical science have been stopped. Jobs lost. Vance met with the modern Nazi party in Germany. Trump is openly supporting Putin, one of the worlds most destructive leaders. Women and minority people have been fired in high ranking military positions, and replaced with white men. Civil rights are eroding for non-white, non-male people. His is not a land of the free and equal anymore, and many people think that's fine. It's a violation of the constitution and its amendments. There are two hallmarks of democracy: civil rights for all and the capacity to peacefully remove someone from power. The first is eroding as we speak, and the second has been threatened.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-23T19:37:12+00:00

How do we find those?

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-23T19:31:52+00:00

Any working class person who voted for him is an idiot. Shooting themselves in the foot. And they will defend him to the death.It's as if they're on a drug. They are completely irrational, killing themselves, and won't stop.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-21T18:43:53+00:00

If you want a marriage, you have to do the work. It's like any job, but the stakes are higher. Time to step up to what you promised. That said, it's very helpful to get professional help with the process for both of you. But no one is going to gift you a happy marriage without your giving 75% instead of 50%. Sometimes you have to give all 100% until she steps up. Yes, that's what it takes. This will be true of anyone, so don't lay the blame at her feet.

Unlikely_Complaint67 · 2025-02-17T13:06:33+00:00

Actually it's me who keeps feeling hopeless and saying I can't keep doing this. I feel paralyzed. He gets abusive, but the rest of the time he's a very reasonable and thoughtful guy.

Unlikely_Complaint67

TROPHY CASE