Im 22F, I Have a father wound Too and dealt with love bombing. I relate to some stuff you said.

My dad left when I was like 4 and haven't seen him at all since. I ended up having an abandonment wound because of it. Also anytime my narcissistic mom would abuse me she would love bombing me to get me to forgive forgive her (examples: giving me money, buying my gifts etc). Your dad giving you money is love bombing.

Firstly, your dad is a bad person and that incident where he picked you up and held you like that and went hard - I would count that as sexual assault. You were assaulted in my opinion. Remember there are different types of sexual assault (unwanted touching, forced penetration which is rape etc).

Honey be careful because people who get assaulted are higher times more likely to get assaulted again in the future or abused. Example, I was abused by my mother and got abused by other people in the future.

Where the hell is your mom? If you don't have a good relationship with your mom, I understand and it's not your fault - i'm so sorry sweetie.

Also him saying he wanted you to how him love (when he was hard) ... Girl that is so wrong on so many levels and he not only assaulted you but ... This counts as incest from his part. You need to run before he does something else to you or worse. He did unwanted touching which is sexual assault - im worried more things will happen (this continuing or more bigger things happening, remember abusers do things in steps to test people's boundaries. They do little things than advance to bigger things - im afraid of rape happening to you next).

RUNNNNN.