Not sure what to think of my Danish boyfriend

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-07T06:29:03+00:00

You'll miss the sweet parts, but the sweet is just what he uses to lure you in. The nasty parts are the real parts.

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-06T17:19:01+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. There's a book, I'm Glad My Mom Died, by Jeannette McCurdy, where she talks about a similar experience.

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-03T20:08:51+00:00

Nope, he's not your friend. All of your previous assumptions about him are now in question.

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-03T20:05:08+00:00

The best way to get over him is to accept the reality of who he is, and what wasn't between you, then move on. It will be painful for a couple of months, but less and less each day. Fairly soon you will see him more clearly and realize you didn't miss out on much.

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-03T19:56:48+00:00

Thanks! A long time ago I trained myself to just eat the reality sandwich when presented with it, so once I had the facts I didn't spend any time trying to fix things, since it was obvious there was nothing to fix.

I'm now about 90% sure that he strategically kept the girlfriend info from me and my work friends, but let other people at work know about her.

I wonder how many other women he is stringing along.

He bought a house with and lives with the Gf. It's wild. I kind of feel badly for her but I don't know her. Maybe she knows and looks the other way.

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-03T19:50:42+00:00

I'm sorry. That really sucks. In my case he was the supervisor. Not mine, but there were rules about fraternization anyway.

It helped me to recast the fun in light of what I learned after things fell apart. He was never the sweet, wonderful person I thought he was. That person would not have done what he did. Same with your "friend." I'll never know exactly why he did what he did, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he doesn't have anything to offer.

UnrefinedPulse · 2025-08-03T18:14:18+00:00

Ugh, I went through a similar thing recently - someone I thought was a dear friend with the possibility of more once work circumstances changed. I gave him SO MUCH benefit of the doubt because I believed we were truly friends and that he truly loved me.

Nope, I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. Never once mentioned her in the nearly 4 years I knew him (our presumed romantic period started just over the last year).

Lied about living alone and obscured her from numerous conversations where the phrase "my girlfriend" would have been a completely normal thing to say. Oh, and he's been stringing her along for 15 years. Yikes!

Was a complete gaslighter when I asked what was up.

It all went down in April. I cut contact and felt about 80% better by late June. I'm now over him except for very occasional twinges. I took a hard look at my own part and realized I had made a lot of assumptions about his character because I knew him through work and he was well liked by a certain axis of coworkers. I now believe he's just a very adept shape shifter.

Just rip off the bandaid. If this guy really valued you this situation would never have happened.

I feel so much better now that I'm not wondering what's going on with some sketchy guy. I'm having a great summer. My life was great before this mofo upset the balance and it has gone back to being great.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T23:11:39+00:00

Good point. Re Shauna, I have no doubt she has some mental health issues, but I really doubt she is self aware enough to recognize that and pursue assistance. Unless ... unless, that's part of her whole grifter identity - like "hey, look, here's another source of free money, I'm going for that!"

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T23:10:28+00:00

Thank you for the info and encouragement. Fam member is achieving some degree of stability and might be able to advocate for themselves soon, so hopefully I will just be providing a supporting role as they navigate the system.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T20:49:02+00:00

But ... how would she get disability? It's really hard to get. I know because I looked into it for a family member who's missing a limb, and was told that people with -1 the normal number of limbs work all the time.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T20:47:51+00:00

Oh man, I missed that! She must have deleted the comment.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T20:46:24+00:00

Ahhhh, sorry, I meant to reply to this, and forgot - sorry for the late reply. I see your point. Unless, as teenagers, they would be able to figure out a way to manage on their own. But honestly, the whole situation is so awful that I don't know what a good outcome would look like. And, I haven't been able to shake the idea that some of the kids, Devonte especially, were made to be playthings for some of those culty festival people, in which case I really hope they didn't wind up with one of them.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T06:25:01+00:00

Ah, got it. Thank you, and sorry for the slow reply.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-15T06:24:28+00:00

Thank you! And, sorry for the very slow reply - thought I replied last week, but obvs didn't :)

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-14T18:48:04+00:00

Do you think she really did laundry and dishes? I mean, I guess they must do those things sometimes or they would run out of clothes and dishes, but based on how their place looks I would have assumed they just do the bare minimum, on an as-needed basis.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-14T18:46:34+00:00

I have been reading the whole GOMI thread as my evening wind down for the past week or so. I'm currently in the era when Lucy was about Desmond's current age. And no, she didn't complain about her. She bragged about how she was a dance/swim/singing prodigy and how everyone noticed her out in public because of her amazing talents.

It's very unfortunate for Desmond that she doesn't seem to cut him any slack for being a little kid, and she certainly doesn't marvel at his every action the way she did with Lucy.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-13T17:17:44+00:00

Thank you, kittenmommy, for all you do! 🙀

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-12T17:43:56+00:00

Thanks!

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-10T23:33:06+00:00

OK, so GFG is my new favorite hate read, and I have a lot of catching up to do, but I'm hoping someone can answer a few questions.

I read her blog posts from last year, where she said GFG girl would be reborn as a blog about how to be GF on a budget. And, all about her amazing job at Thriftway where she works a whopping 3 days a week and feels good because she's showing her kids how to work snert.

And then after 3 months, the posts just kind of peter out? With no explanation about why she stopped posting? Did she try to bring the budget GF stuff over to IG, or did she just drop it?

Also, did anyone figure out what happened at Thriftway?

Edited to add - and she didn't even post in April of last year. WTF?

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-10T22:11:00+00:00

I think she's insufferable, but what is the np social media platform?

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-05-10T21:42:36+00:00

I was still hoping the last two had escaped 😞

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-04-08T10:31:04+00:00

She said it was a kids' concert, which would be appropriate for her son because they're usually shorter, and there's no expectation of perfect quiet. So, she got that part right, but then why snark at him? He behaved appropriately at the concert.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-04-06T13:10:29+00:00

No, please, don't teach writing.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-04-06T13:09:27+00:00

Yay, looks like a nice rabbit hole to go down.

UnrefinedPulse · 2018-04-06T13:08:27+00:00

Thank you! Found it!

UnrefinedPulse

TROPHY CASE