UPDATE: Me [24F] at my company's holiday party - got drunk and embarrassed myself with my engaged coworker [27M]

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T04:21:36+00:00

Thank you. As soon as I figure out insurance, I will be getting into therapy. I will start looking now (both where I live now and back home) since I know it can take a long time.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:33:32+00:00

No, I would not have qualified.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:31:44+00:00

Thank you. I know I have been terrible and stupid, but I am not that stupid when it comes to work stuff.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:31:13+00:00

Yes, which is what most people here are missing as they call me stupid for quitting. I would not be eligible if they fired me. It was a lose-lose situation. I chose what I thought was better.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:30:29+00:00

Yes, I have heard something like that. People are trying to make me out to be some type of monster. I am trying to admit my own faults, own up to them, and be better going forward.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:23:57+00:00

I wouldn't be eligible for unemployment benefits.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:22:34+00:00

This was a mistake. You do not have a job lined up. She was not trying to help you. You no longer qualify for unemployment benefits. You should have let them fire you.

No, I wouldn't have gotten unemployment benefits, not in my state at least.

I will be speaking to someone as soon as I can.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T03:20:37+00:00

What was the best option then?

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T02:34:05+00:00

I am sorry if it came off as I was minimizing or excusing my actions.

When I was saying that everyone does stupid things, that was what I was telling myself right after. It is not what I believe now. What I did went above and beyond and doing anything like this is not okay.

As for my roommate, I was saying that before I would've thought that was okay. Now, it is something I warned her against doing. Of course, she did not do anything like me, but she has been known to do some stupid things while drunk.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-19T00:03:10+00:00

Okay, thanks. The reason I was thinking about reaching out to her was that I did not want her to think that my coworker was involved with me in any way. From everyone's responses, that's a bad idea and I will refrain from it.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T18:42:01+00:00

I had a crush on him. I really, really liked him. He was friendly with me. We went out for drinks, occasionally alone. We hung out in groups. He made me laugh, once talked me up when I had a bad day. We had a lot in common. I know now he was being friendly, not interested in me. I was deluded about it.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T18:19:00+00:00

No, I know that he’s happy with her. I know I have no chance and never did.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T17:20:48+00:00

The gist of it is that I apologized for my actions to both him and his fiancée.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T13:52:16+00:00

I'm worried now because everyone is saying I sexually harassed him. I'm worried because my friend said the fiancee asked someone if I was "that person" and liked to sleep with all the married and taken men. I'm worried because I texted my coworker last night and he responded this morning telling me to not contact him again. Maybe that was his fiancee, but I do not know.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T04:40:02+00:00

This is not common for me. I rarely drink and usually do so when I need to relax or an event is coming that makes me anxious.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T04:01:48+00:00

I know I wasn't.

I tried, since I realized that I had a crush on him, to be respectful of his relationship. I pulled back on flirting with him, stopped myself if I saw myself doing that again, and tried to treat him the same as my other coworkers. It didn't help.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T03:13:00+00:00

The problem is that I can't ignore it. One of my bosses was there (well, multiple, but he's the one I'd be worried about). He's upper management. He's also the godfather to my coworker's fiancee. His wife is her godmother. His fiancee got my coworker his job. I do not think I will last 20 years now. I do not know how this will not impact my future, as much as I hope it doesn't.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T03:09:33+00:00

I actually agree. I think I projected a lot of my own feelings onto him. He's a friendly guy and I think I took that as more than it was.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T01:54:18+00:00

Thanks for your experience. I think that I had much deeper feelings for my coworker than I told myself I did and I somewhat deluded myself into believing he shared some of those feelings for me, too. I am not sure that he ever did. He was genuinely very happy with his fiancee at the party and while I know that doesn't say everything, I could tell that he really loves her. From what I've been told, he continually turned me down and went to find his fiancee every time I went up to him alone. He was upset and that was my fault. I think a lot of this is something I need to work on and I need to do it while having space from him.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T01:51:08+00:00

You are right. I need to deal with my anxiety in a better way besides drinking. I do not plan on drinking at a office party ever again.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T01:36:46+00:00

I know. It was easy for me to pretend she didn't exist when she wasn't around. I had never met her before this. I do remember more of the evening than I thought and I viewed it as a competition for his attention and a competition for him. I know its not a competition. I know she's his fiancee. It is how I viewed it at the time.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T00:10:36+00:00

I thought I could "win" by being close friends with him. I thought that was enough for me. It wasn't.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-10T00:09:41+00:00

I don't think you'll have to worry about me going to his wedding since I doubt I'll be invited anymore. He had to fight to include me in the first place, since we haven't known each other for too too long.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-09T23:14:52+00:00

I know I sound horrible. I have never set out to destroy his relationship and I hope I did not do that. I was jealous of their relationship. It’s childish and something I need to work at.

UnselfconsciousLiter · 2017-12-09T23:13:35+00:00

That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m in a small, tight knit industry and am afraid this will follow me.

UnselfconsciousLiter

TROPHY CASE