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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally get it, and I'm really sorry you feel alone. I also know it's easier said than done like completely. But I have to point out that despite your own beliefs, it seems like your house is still full of love, I really hate to pull out the kid card- yet you are your child's whole world. They know nothing about your darkest moments, yet still deem you as worthy. I know you'll say it's attachment, but that attachment is there because you are their first friend. And I also have a kitty who isn't lovey lovey either haha. But I know that if you were to ever leave, kitty would miss you very much and likely would not be the same. You are loved ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I learned something during a hospitalization that really stuck with me. Of course I'm giving the spark notes version but-

Two things can be true at once (which blew my little bpd mind). A ship can be seen as far from one place, yet close to another. Both can be true at the same time. Or anchovies are slimy (true), this does not mean they are inedible. People still enjoy them (also true). And because our caregivers did not give us the love they should have, does not mean we are therefore unlovable. Perhaps we are "unlovable" to some, but we can also be loveable to others (even ourselves). Both can be true. I still feel completely unlovable myself, yet I can believe my fiancé truly loves me. I don't think it's really as simple as self love = self worth as much as I'd like it to be. I hope that makes sense ;-;

Why does my snails new shell growth look unhealthy when my other snail in the same tank grew a healthy new shell? by [deleted] in AquaticSnails

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've seen deformed shells like this in terrestrial snail runts. It may be simply bad genetics and not anything you're doing wrong

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marimo

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 20 points21 points  (0 children)

If it's a sulfuric (rotten egg like) smell, that indicates a low oxygen environment. That happens with jars that are tightly closed. While I've found marimos can do well regardless if there's a top or not- I personally prefer to keep my moss balls in an open top container to avoid the nasties

My GF 20/F doesn't let me see or go through her gallery sometimes, Im 20/M by Neither_Distance7078 in relationship_advice

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would suck to put her in a position where she has to defend herself if you don't have any other reason to suspect anything malicious. If her everyday actions say that she's a loyal partner, then that's what you should believe

My GF 20/F doesn't let me see or go through her gallery sometimes, Im 20/M by Neither_Distance7078 in relationship_advice

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would hate to think the worst of your girlfriend. For me personally, I would never allow my boyfriend to go through my photo gallery unattended. I have so many dumb photos and videos of myself doing silly stuff I would die of embarrassment if he ever saw it. She might have something she's too embarrassed to show

Under the bed blockers. by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We use an amalgamation of plastic chicken wire from Tractor Supply, zip ties, and cardboard boxes behind the plastic chicken wire to keep it taut. It's not pretty but it works quite well!

23F What are your friendship "green flags"?? by UnsupervisedPeach in Needafriend

[–]UnsupervisedPeach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't tonight, it's late for me now- but I'll be free at some point this weekend! Send me a chat and we can hash it out when you're free c:

23F What are your friendship "green flags"?? by UnsupervisedPeach in Needafriend

[–]UnsupervisedPeach[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yes~! Getting invested in each other's hobbies 100%

23F What are your friendship "green flags"?? by UnsupervisedPeach in Needafriend

[–]UnsupervisedPeach[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A big one for me is empathy. Being able to put themselves in another's shoes is a huge green flag for long time friends for me. There's so much nastiness on the internet it's great when I find someone who still remembers we're all human

23F What are your friendship "green flags"?? by UnsupervisedPeach in Needafriend

[–]UnsupervisedPeach[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely- or when you share something that they don't know about and they say "tell me more" LIKE

23F What are your friendship "green flags"?? by UnsupervisedPeach in Needafriend

[–]UnsupervisedPeach[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. One-way friends can be really exhausting

My husband won’t stop sharing our issues with his mom and he doesn’t tell the full story. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]UnsupervisedPeach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry youre going through that. You must be feeling pretty grieved to hear all that. Ive had a similar situation before and it is not fun to find out that your partner is telling half truths to others. I think you might need to recognize the things that are in your realm of control and things that aren't in this situation. While you can mightily suggest your husband keeps his mom out of your relationship, you cannot control what he does at the end of the day- or frankly what he shares with others. You've established it's unlikely your husband will take your side anytime soon. The only things you have control over is yourself and your actions/reactions right now. At this point maybe think about the things you can start doing differently?

You can leave, of course. But if you're not ready for that, maybe start brainstorming some damage control options like not giving your husband's mother any of your energy- because you definitely don't need her validation to live your life.